Conquer Club

Suppose God (pick your favorite version, I was thinking of YHWH, but could be any flavor of God you happen to believe in) were going to move on, pack it in, sell the farm, and you showed up at the yard sale. What kind of nifty things might you find for sale there?

I'm thinking there'd be a bunch of old used harps.

Any other ideas?

That's a good question, I can't think of anything specific, but it's gotta be holy items...

I think I better not respond with a serious answer. There might be Mormons around...

Nothing, He'd be giving away eternal life.

jay_a2j wrote:Nothing, He'd be giving away eternal life.

Your god is boring.

Neoteny wrote:

jay_a2j wrote:Nothing, He'd be giving away eternal life.

Your god is boring.

You prefer eternal hellfire? That's 2 blocks down at Satan's Garage Sale.

jay_a2j wrote:

Neoteny wrote:

jay_a2j wrote:Nothing, He'd be giving away eternal life.

Your god is boring.

You prefer eternal hellfire? That's 2 blocks down at Satan's Garage Sale.

I'll go wherever they aren't singing "Koombaya."

Surplus brimstone is a possibility... apparently not much use for the stuff since Sodom and Gomorrah.

Also, what would he do with the 100's of virgins reserved for martyrs? Doubt anyone would want to buy those...

gdeangel wrote:Surplus brimstone is a possibility... apparently not much use for the stuff since Sodom and Gomorrah.

Also, what would he do with the 100's of virgins reserved for martyrs? Doubt anyone would want to buy those...

Raisin sale? Maybe he'll have a bake sale with Christ wafers and raisin bread?

All the reject beings he tried before hitting on humans. We weren't that great either, but God had spent a straight week doing this shit, and he just said "f*ck it", and decided to see where the ball rolled.

Now realize this is difficult for me, or any Jesus Freak, because part of what I love about the God I know is that he never gives up on, or leaves, me or anybody else. Believe me, if he were ever going to give up on somebody, I've given him enough reason to give up on me. If he were capable of giving up and leaving, we'd be talking about somebody else, so whatever I know or think wouldn't apply.

But here goes.

I think if God were moving away, he'd leave behind various powers, like answering prayer, a la "Bruce Almighty" or like creating a world or a universe. Kind of like saying, "OK, you don't like the way I did it, let's see how you do."

Earth?

OK, OK ... maybe planet ??? somewhere???

hopefully omnipotence, I've been looking for that.

either that or a copy of grim fandango, but I don't imagine he'd part with that.

Stuff,lots and lots of stuff.He's got a REALLLLY big garage.

qeee1 wrote:either that or a copy of grim fandango, but I don't imagine he'd part with that.

He's illogical, not insane.

gdeangel wrote:Suppose God (pick your favorite version, I was thinking of YHWH, but could be any flavor of God you happen to believe in) were going to move on, pack it in, sell the farm,........... What kind of nifty things might you find for sale there?

The Bible(all time best seller). And he'd sign it for an extra twenty.

HapSmo19 wrote:

gdeangel wrote:Suppose God (pick your favorite version, I was thinking of YHWH, but could be any flavor of God you happen to believe in) were going to move on, pack it in, sell the farm,........... What kind of nifty things might you find for sale there?

The Bible(all time best seller). And he'd sign it for an extra twenty.

Good one!

I think he'd have a section where he'd be selling the souls of all those in Heaven who royally pissed him off during their stay.

Also, he'd probably have some bottles of 4000 year old mana lying around somewhere.

Hologram wrote:I think he'd have a section where he'd be selling the souls of all those in Heaven who royally pissed him off during their stay.

Yeah, it's a virtual guarantee.

Neoteny wrote:

gdeangel wrote:Surplus brimstone is a possibility... apparently not much use for the stuff since Sodom and Gomorrah.

Also, what would he do with the 100's of virgins reserved for martyrs? Doubt anyone would want to buy those...

Raisin sale? Maybe he'll have a bake sale with Christ wafers and raisin bread?

Raisins are Satan's dingleberries (and don't get me started on what mayonaise is) . . .

Angel-feather down comforter... only slightly used. Those stains will come right out with a good dry cleaning...

Curmudgeonx wrote:

Neoteny wrote:

gdeangel wrote:Surplus brimstone is a possibility... apparently not much use for the stuff since Sodom and Gomorrah.

Also, what would he do with the 100's of virgins reserved for martyrs? Doubt anyone would want to buy those...

Raisin sale? Maybe he'll have a bake sale with Christ wafers and raisin bread?

Raisins are Satan's dingleberries (and don't get me started on what mayonaise is) . . .

What does Satan have to do with Mayonnaise? I really need to know because that's what people usually eat their fries with here, combined with fries I think it's even more popular ketchup.

Neoteny wrote:I think I better not respond with a serious answer. There might be Mormons around...

Yes there certainly are, and several of them in fact.

MeDeFe wrote:

Curmudgeonx wrote:

Neoteny wrote:

gdeangel wrote:Surplus brimstone is a possibility... apparently not much use for the stuff since Sodom and Gomorrah.

Also, what would he do with the 100's of virgins reserved for martyrs? Doubt anyone would want to buy those...

Raisin sale? Maybe he'll have a bake sale with Christ wafers and raisin bread?

Raisins are Satan's dingleberries (and don't get me started on what mayonaise is) . . .

What does Satan have to do with Mayonnaise? I really need to know because that's what people usually eat their fries with here, combined with fries I think it's even more popular ketchup.

Well you are asking for it: Mayonaise is Satan's ejaculate. It's true. I read in the bible as a child.