Conquer Club

What IZ your favorite brand of 40 Malt Liquor?

Mine is Cobra. It has that strong, fumy, malty sensation that stings the nasal passages. And it usually only takes two to really get one fucked up. The taste is something like coating your tongue with liquefied shredded wheat mixed with nail polish remover...but the buzz!

I used to grab two of those from the gas station first thing in the morning, and sit on the street corner with all the Mexicans looking for day labor. I couldn't understand a word those Mexicans were saying, but I shared my Malt Liquor with them. I even gave some of them twenty bucks to sweep the parking lot for me at the gas station I worked at. Those guys will do anything for money!

Cobra rules!

So you're off the wagon and Hitchin' A Ride?

There's the "convenient store drunk" answer and then there's the "beer geek" answer......

First, the Convenient Store Drunk answer.

"Convenient Store Drunk":
Olde English 800 AKA: 8-Ball, Old E, OE, Ow-Ee
Origin: Miller Brewing Company (who bought the Olde 800 from Pabst)
ABV: ~7.5%
The choice of da OG's yo... With a great head, voluptuous J-Lo body, smooth finish, OE is the complete package. Classic old school label that announces you just bought 40 ounces, not once, not twice, but three times. OE has been praised by more rappers (without being compensated, see St. Ides) than every other malt liquor combined. Devotees past and present include Ice Cube, Eazy E, NWA, NAS, Beastie Boys, Alkaholics, TuPac and Dr. Dre.
(OG: Original Gangsta, for those not in the "know")

Iz Man wrote:There's the "convenient store drunk" answer and then there's the "beer geek" answer......

First, the Convenient Store Drunk answer.

"Convenient Store Drunk":
Olde English 800 AKA: 8-Ball, Old E, OE, Ow-Ee
Origin: Miller Brewing Company (who bought the Olde 800 from Pabst)
ABV: ~7.5%
The choice of da OG's yo... With a great head, voluptuous J-Lo body, smooth finish, OE is the complete package. Classic old school label that announces you just bought 40 ounces, not once, not twice, but three times. OE has been praised by more rappers (without being compensated, see St. Ides) than every other malt liquor combined. Devotees past and present include Ice Cube, Eazy E, NWA, NAS, Beastie Boys, Alkaholics, TuPac and Dr. Dre.
(OG: Original Gangsta, for those not in the "know")

I usually judge my choice of 40 on the Puke Factor, and OE always makes me puke and the taste of OE vomit is horrendous. Cobra I believe is a step up on the Puke Factor scale for me, as I have not puked as often on Cobra, and when I did, it did not taste as horrible coming up as OE. But OE for some reason always makes me want to gag an hurl.

Oh, by the way...what DOES the 800 on OE mean?

DaGip wrote:I usually judge my choice of 40 on the Puke Factor, and OE always makes me puke and the taste of OE vomit is horrendous. Cobra I believe is a step up on the Puke Factor scale for me, as I have not puked as often on Cobra, and when I did, it did not taste as horrible coming up as OE. But OE for some reason always makes me want to gag an hurl.

Oh, by the way...what DOES the 800 on OE mean?

Not sure really. At first I thought maybe the original gravity of the beer (1.080); but if that was the original gravity, the "beer" would most likely come in at 8.5%+.
I'll have to try & find out.
For a good laugh, check out its review here (for the 3.2% version): http://www.ratebeer.com/Brewers/Beer/Be ... -10109.htm

That is pretty funny, I thought it was going to be funny because some where there was person rating it high and writing up an article praising it with fancy discriptions.

So am I the only one waiting for the beer geek answer?

this malt liquor pours with a yellowish urine color with a slight nose of malts. The flavor is unique an can only be compared to other malts like Colt 45, Steel Reserve and King Cobra. This is probably one of the worst tasting malts that I can’t actually finish because of the taste. The only reason Olde English 40oz would be a good buy is if you wanted to get drunk, it had a low price, large amount, and high alcohol content. Drink this with caution!!

I am still pissing my pants over this! Fucking hillarious!

Steele Reserve is perhaps the all time nastiest crap in the world! If we rate Malt Liquor on all time crappiness and the ones that will give you the worst buzz just before you go off on a chain saw killing spree...Steele Reserve is the shit!

I have to agree with the review you posted, Mickey's is probably the more upscale of the 40's...probably because it comes in a green bottle with a yellow jacket on the label (probably symbolizing the alcoholic punch it's going to give ya).

But for some reason, I have a hard time holding down anything but Cobra!

Have you heard? They are bringing back Schlitz! I can't wait! That stuff tasted like the ass end of a lawn mower after it just went through some type of decayed organic matter and a big steaming pile of Great Dane doggie shite. Plus, it has CHUNKS in it! CHUNKS!!! The head was so stiff, that you thought it was going to jump out of the mug and slap the shit out of your fugly blind date! But anywayz, Schlitz isn't a 4o, but I am okay with talking about it in this thread. This is more a shitty beer or Malt Beverage thread than anything.

The one beer I wish they would bring back was Schmidties Big Mouths! That stuff went down like candy!

Iz Man wrote:

DaGip wrote:I usually judge my choice of 40 on the Puke Factor, and OE always makes me puke and the taste of OE vomit is horrendous. Cobra I believe is a step up on the Puke Factor scale for me, as I have not puked as often on Cobra, and when I did, it did not taste as horrible coming up as OE. But OE for some reason always makes me want to gag an hurl.

Oh, by the way...what DOES the 800 on OE mean?

Not sure really. At first I thought maybe the original gravity of the beer (1.080); but if that was the original gravity, the "beer" would most likely come in at 8.5%+.
I'll have to try & find out.
For a good laugh, check out its review here (for the 3.2% version): http://www.ratebeer.com/Brewers/Beer/Be ... -10109.htm

The 800 on OE is just the line at the beer factory that OE comes off of...the 800 line. I found out by calling the 800 number on the bottle.

I didn't even know mickey's was malt liquor. I thought it was ok, tasted like a lager to me.

Wow the guys at rate beer didn't like Cascade premium lager.

2dimes wrote:Wow the guys at rate beer didn't like Cascade premium lager.

Isn't that a household scrubbing cleaner? I didn't know they made Malt Liquor too?

2dimes wrote:So am I the only one waiting for the beer geek answer?

I am too.

You're thinking of the dishwasher detergent, a North American product.

I was refering to the beer made in Tasmania, I don't know if they make a malt liquor, I'm guessing they don't.

Alright........... the beer geek answer: (I'm "upping" the geek factor here, I'm really not this bad )


That's a tough question, because believe it or not, Malt Liquor means something different depending on where you are (in the U.S.).
This is due to ridiculous legislation and/or laws that waste the time and money of John & Suzie Taxpayer. Go figure......

For example: The Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission (I know, Texas, of all places) adopted Amendment §45.77 which states that malt liquor is not beer, but the term ale can be used as a synonym to malt liquor.......... but not beer. What constitutes a beer or a Malt Liquor depends on its alcohol content, Malt Liquor being over 6%*. Beer and malt liquor are distributed through different permit systems. It is, therefore, unlawful, for example, for a retailer licensed only for commerce in beer to possess malt liquor. This is, of course, to "protect" the consumer.

In Colorado, its different, at least in terms of what is malt liquor... hey, why not .
The Colorado Dept. of Revenue, Division of Liquor/Tobacco Enforcement states:
Section 12 - 47 - 103(19) CRS
"Malt Liquors" includes beer and shall be construed to mean any beverage obtained by the alcoholic fermentation of any infusion or decoction of barley, malt, hops or any other similar products, or any combination thereof, in water containing more than three and two-tenths percent of alcohol by weight. (A separate license is required to import fermented malt beverage, that which is not more than three and two-tenths percent by weight).
Certainly makes sense, doesn't it?
3.2% alcohol by weight is 4.05% ABV.

So, if I'm in Houston, TX, perhaps I'd grab a St. Arnold Oktoberfest

Or if I'm in Colorado, I'm definitely getting an Avery Brewery's Hog Heaven Barley Wine