Conquer Club

Well did he? I heard/read something the other day that said Noah kicked the Unicorns of the Ark and thats why they don't exist. Can any of the learned bible studiers amongst the CC rifraf confirm this? Wouldn't it be great if all the people who say you may as well believe in Unicorns as believe in God we're to find out that God had already created Unicorns? I suppose it would be asking too much for Noah to have done for the Spaghetti Monster too but you never know...

I think you've got the Bible confused with the Irish Rovers, who popularized this song in the 60's (Lyrics actually written by Shel Silverstein.)

A long time ago, when the earth was still green,
There were more kinds of animals than you've ever seen;
They'd run around free while the earth was being born,
The loveliest of all was the Unicorn.

There was green alligators and long-necked geese,
Some humpty-backed camels and some chimpanzees,
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born,
The loveliest of all was the Unicorn.

Now God seen some sinnin' and it gave Him pain.
And He said, "Stand back, I'm going to make it rain."
He said, "Hey, brother Noah, I'll tell you what to do.
Build me a floating zoo."

And take some of them green alligators and long-necked geese,
Some humpty-backed camels and some chimpanzees,
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born,
Don't you forget my Unicorn."

Old Noah was there to answer the call,
He finished up making the Ark just as the rain started fallin',
He marched in the animals two by two
And he called out as they went through,
"Hey, Lord: I've got yer....

Green alligators and long-necked geese,
Some humpty-backed camels and some chimpanzees,
Some cats and rats and elephants, but Lord, I'm so forlorn,
I just can't see no Unicorn."

Old Noah looked out into the driving rain,
Them Unicorns was hiding, playing silly games,
Kicking and splashing while the rain was pouring,
Oh, them silly Unicorns.

There was green alligators and long-necked geese,
Some humpty-backed camels and some chimpanzees,
Noah cried, "Close the doors 'cause the rain is pourin',
And we just can't wait for no Unicorns."

The Ark started movin', it drifted with the tide,
Them Unicorns looked up from the rock and they cried,
And the waters came down and sorta floated them away,
That's why you'll never see a Unicorn, to this very day.

You'll see green alligators and long-necked geese,
Some humpty-backed camels and some chimpanzees,
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born,
You're never gonna see no Unicorn.

waht he said...

So does this mean that Shel Silverstein created Unicorns or the Irish Rovers? Does that mean the Irish Rovers are God which would explain why the Irish always call Ireland God's Country I suppose. I'm still confused who created the Spaghetti Monster but I guess that wasn't God either then, unless Shel Silverstein created the Spaghetti Monster too and he is God not the Irish Rovers, or maybe he is Noah in which case he probably just forgot about the Spaghetti Monster which exlpains why the Irish Rovers didn't sing about it. Phew, glad thats clear now.

Obviously (if you believe in a literal interpertation of the Bible) Noah put the unicorns in the ark because they continued to exist long after the flood. Mind you medieval explorers really weren't all that accurate in their descriptions and it is currently believed that they were describing rhinos in Africa. This evolved to the heraldic unicorn which of course never existed.

tzor wrote:Obviously (if you believe in a literal interpertation of the Bible) Noah put the unicorns in the ark because they continued to exist long after the flood. Mind you medieval explorers really weren't all that accurate in their descriptions and it is currently believed that they were describing rhinos in Africa. This evolved to the heraldic unicorn which of course never existed.

Whoah whoah whoah. The bible mentions Unicorns after the flood? Does this mean Shel Silverstein isn't Noah? Either way it sounds to me like God (whoever he/they maybe) created Unicorns because the Bible/Irish Rovers song says so right? I like that, it all seems to fit well, sucks for Silverstein admittedly as he has been significantly downgraded from Ark Captain to Chief Author of Inspiring Irish Folk Ditties but I feel like he was just muscling in on the action anyway so maybe he deserves it.

Bertros Bertros wrote:Whoah whoah whoah. The bible mentions Unicorns after the flood?

No people do. And these reports all postdate even the writing of Genesis by a significant amount. That's why you always see pictures of two girrafes in most Ark illustrations even though the bible doesn't mention them before, during or after the flood.

But that is assuming a literal interpertation, and I don't do those things.

tzor wrote:No people do. And these reports all postdate even the writing of Genesis by a significant amount.

So following that to its logical conculsion we can assume that all living creatures reported to exist after the writing of Genesis we're by definition in the Ark regardless of whether they are in the illustrations of the Ark or not (which leads to an interesting side query - who does Ark Illustrations, is it the same guys who draw pictures in court cause your not allowed to take photos of guilty people? They kind of have the same soft focus style about them, but I digress). So this means not only did God create unicorns but also the flying spaghetti monster. Bearing all that in mind its kind of a shame that teapots are inanimate, unless of course you like tea, in which case an orbitting teapot would be a ditinct disavantage whether you are a milk first person or not.

Bertros Bertros wrote:So following that to its logical conculsion we can assume that all living creatures reported to exist after the writing of Genesis we're by definition in the Ark regardless of whether they are in the illustrations of the Ark or not

Man... someday I'm gonna get that Big-Foot good.

And when I do; I'm going to put my pecker in it.

I once saw a very amusing cartoon - reproduced, I think from some ancient magazine.

Noah is standing on the ark, there is a line of animals stretching out to the horizon, and a roll of parchment is in his hands, long enough to reach right over the side of the ark and out of sight.

He is obviously angry, and shouts "Oh, that's a great start! NO bloody aardvarks!"

I've seen a cartoon where the ark is next to a pirate ship and the pirate captain's saying something along the lines of "No gold? Well, just give us those ugly horses with the horns then."

with the understanding that it's quite possible I'm feeding a troll, I will point out that there is no biblical evidence for unicorns. If they existed at the time of the flood they were on the ark, but I have yet to see any evidence for the existance of unicorns.

Well, you all are wrong. In fact there are no unicorns, but at the time of the flood they were alicorns, flying unicorns. Since Noah didn't have to carry flying creatures on the arc, unicorns lived. However, shortly after the flood, the majority of the alicorns lost their wings and became unicorns and were hunted to extinction for their valuable horn.

nmhunate wrote:Well, you all are wrong. In fact there are no unicorns, but at the time of the flood they were alicorns, flying unicorns. Since Noah didn't have to carry flying creatures on the arc, unicorns lived. However, shortly after the flood, the majority of the alicorns lost their wings and became unicorns and were hunted to extinction for their valuable horn.

Now you're just being corny.

They survived the flood, but were abducted by aliens shortly afterwards.

Ahhhh yes, and here comes Xenu to hydrogen bomb all those volcanoes...

There where Narwhals (unicorns of the sea), but they didn't need to be on the Ark did they? Oh well. Nice to see ya' back Bertros. You were missed.


Daddy1gringo,

Thanks for the lyrics of that song! I've been looking for that for ages (okay admittedly I'm lazy and wasn't looking very hard, so thanks for putting right at my fingertips)

MR. Nate wrote:with the understanding that it's quite possible I'm feeding a troll, I will point out that there is no biblical evidence for unicorns. If they existed at the time of the flood they were on the ark, but I have yet to see any evidence for the existance of unicorns.

Nate, you are feeding a trool because it's impossible to be that stupid.

All he's doing is patrinizing God and the Bible. Don't buy into it.

MR. Nate wrote:with the understanding that it's quite possible I'm feeding a troll, I will point out that there is no biblical evidence for unicorns. If they existed at the time of the flood they were on the ark, but I have yet to see any evidence for the existance of unicorns.

Oh, yes...they exist! Meet Lancelot the Unicorn!

People believe the Unicorn legend came from mutated goats that only had one horn. So the potential for a Unicorn may have been on the Ark with Noah, as he surely had goats with him.

Please compare the images of Lancelot vs the traditional Unicorn (which is white, cloven hoofed, and bears a lion-like tail):

Go jump in a pool in maui DaGip, I fast posted the unicorn and mine's a video clip.

Gregrios wrote:

MR. Nate wrote:with the understanding that it's quite possible I'm feeding a troll, I will point out that there is no biblical evidence for unicorns. If they existed at the time of the flood they were on the ark, but I have yet to see any evidence for the existance of unicorns.

Nate, you are feeding a trool because it's impossible to be that stupid.

All he's doing is patrinizing God and the Bible. Don't buy into it.

So how big was this ark and how long did it take to build.....was Noah an engineer ?

2dimes wrote:Go jump in a pool in maui DaGip, I fast posted the unicorn and mine's a video clip.

Your video clip fails because they couldn't hold the camera still if their lives depended on it.

No way, when you see a unicorn in person you're too excited to hold the camera still. I win.

When you see a unicorn in person you'd better hold the camera still or everyone will think you've faked it.