Conquer Club

I was looking at the "creation v evolution" thread, and it reminded me of a limeric I made up some while ago. I wonder if there are any other limeric witers out there who can write some thread-related limerics?
I'll do some when I've got a minute.

Anyway, here's my take on creationism.

A Theology student named Rod
Was thought by his lecturers odd.
One day in a lecture
He was heard to conjecture
"Bugger me, someone must have made God!"

It's limerick.

Hologram wrote:It's limerick.

OK smartypants then write one.
Make sure it scans and rhymes correctly.
Like this.

There once was a limeric critic
who made me a bit of a cynic.
with their "I have to say,
You've forgotten the 'K' ",
the anal-retentive old arse-lic

I never truly was in a choir
I say for I am not a liar
And because I can't sing
Neither make my voice ring
I will attempt to light you on fire.

I must say, by the by, that your third A-line was terrible.

We probably proounce things differently. It scans fine when I say it.
You know, the tomayto tomahto thing.
By the way, NOBODY says Po-TAH-to. There's a desperate writer loooking for a rhyme if there ever was one.

here's one for someone who gets talked about a lot on here...

There once was a poster named Norse
Sluggs, Bosnia and Skoffing , of course
DarenMUFC
and Jack Boot Joey
i'm sure there'll be more in due course

I joined too late to know quite what all the "Norse" thing was about - but your effort was educational as well as amusing. thank you. And it has no obscenities or insults in it - quite unusual!

jonesthecurl wrote:We probably proounce things differently. It scans fine when I say it.
You know, the tomayto tomahto thing.
By the way, NOBODY says Po-TAH-to. There's a desperate writer loooking for a rhyme if there ever was one.

No, it was the arse-lic thing. It scans just fine, it's just a terrible manipulation of words to force a rhyme.

Hologram wrote:

jonesthecurl wrote:We probably proounce things differently. It scans fine when I say it.
You know, the tomayto tomahto thing.
By the way, NOBODY says Po-TAH-to. There's a desperate writer loooking for a rhyme if there ever was one.

No, it was the arse-lic thing. It scans just fine, it's just a terrible manipulation of words to force a rhyme.

A classic part of the limeric(k) tradition is exactly that - to force rhymes in a groan-inducing way. Which is why deliberately spelt "lick" wrongl, just as I had originally spelt "Limerick" wrong.

Here's some more torturing ofthe English language.

Hologram didn't like my last po-im
the strange rhyming, it just seemed to thro-im
He didn't like "arse-lic"
So he should take arsenick
If he did, you know that would just sho-im

jonesthecurl wrote:Here's some more torturing ofthe English language.

Hologram didn't like my last po-im
the strange rhyming, it just seemed to thro-im
He didn't like "arse-lic"
So he should take arsenick
If he did, you know that would just sho-im

there once was a forum of flame,
that oft' did conjecture in vain:
that khaz was a tool,
and a high ranking fool!
but surely the song is the same?

to wit, there's a forum of maps/
a derelict graveyard of chaps.
who, scorned and abused,
XML enthused,
and grooved down to khazalid's raps

There once was a well-endowed Scot
Who sexual technique was hot
The size of his member
Was a thing to remember
And he put it about qute a lot

A young fellow called Sam earned my thanks -
Explained "emo" for my mem'ry banks.
His hair's over one eye
So you can't see him cry
When, on his shoes,everyone wanks.

jonesthecurl wrote:There once was a well-endowed Scot
Who sexual technique was hot
The size of his member
Was a thing to remember
And he put it about qute a lot

i resent that, i'm very choosy when it comes to putting it about!

A young chap once made me quite unhappy
with his posts nasty, sloppy and sappy.
He became such a bore
I put him on "ignore"
- his opinions come out of his nappy.

There was an old man
From Peru, whose lim'ricks all
Look'd like haiku. He

Said with a laugh "I
Cut them in half, the pay is
Much better for two."

The1exile wrote:There was an old man
From Peru, whose lim'ricks all
Look'd like haiku. He

Said with a laugh "I
Cut them in half, the pay is
Much better for two."

There is no icon for "bows down in awe", so these will have to do...