Conquer Club

for me the army

and memory wise giving this young lad grief saying if you take the wrong turn there will be hell to pay (northern ireland)

Being a firefighter in the Canadian Navy.
Taking my motorcycle along on a trip, loaded into the helicopter hanger of a destroyer I was serving on. I did this on three occasions. On one of the trips I took two weeks leave in Naples, Italy, and rode from there to meet the ship in Portsmouth, England. Nothing is better than riding a Harley Davidson with Nova Scotia plates on it, through europe.....everyone loves you.....I even had two cops pull me over to look at the bike, then tell the pub owner up the road to buy me a couple beers from them! I still smile thinking of that little road trip....

Back in the early 70s my Father bought a large disused airfield with multiple hangers in the Midlands to expand his Storage and Warehouse company.

I went along to work there during my holidays as a teenager. Sweeping floors, cleaning the loos etc (usual stuff..."you'll start at the bottom lad" and all that).

One superb side benefit was when he managed to get a contract for outside storage of cars for the US market. In those days E type jags were all the rage and we would receive these and other Jags from the Browns lane factory in Coventry and they would sit for some days before being loaded onto Transporters to go to the docks.

As a teenager who could drive, I, along with my Bro' would unload the Transporters and park them up...Once we were on our own, we would drag race them along the strip, it was quite incredible. We also managed to set up a kind of track and raced them around there...goodness knows what we did to those new engines, but the sound of the V12 in full throttle with the top down, dragging alongside another has never left me. I learnt so much about controlled slides, fishtailing (no anti skid in those days) double declutching and race driving I have always hankered after drophead chargers ever since....unfortunately life got in the way...so it was not until recently that I managed to reward myself once more.

Late apologies to those Americans who bought those E Types when they finally got to their destinations.

Wow to both.

What do you do now friut? Does dad still have the airfield?

working as a fluff boy at a strip club.

that would have to be one of my best memories as well.

So, Glide and Fruitcake just completely fucking destrroyed any vaguely interesting story I could have told you about my shitty jobs... good work guys.

That's kind of where I'm at too.

I worked at a pharmacy briefly, I've got a couple of stories.

We had a guy arrested for public drunkeness, because he was smashed off of hairspray (180 proof, that stuff) I had no idea that you could do that, and apparently it has a good chance of killing you (wood alcohol) but this guy knocked back bottles of suave like it was OJ.

Also, we tossed more than a few vicodin addicts out, usually with help of the police.

2dimes wrote

What do you do now friut? Does dad still have the airfield?

I own a Management company that runs Associations on behalf of the members. Simple philosophy really, most Associations are run by the members who have little idea of the 'business' benefits they can obtain. We operate outside of the Association itself and take nothing more than a cut of the increased membership income we deliver and the savings we garner. There are around 10,000 Associations in the UK alone, many that are pretty moribund as the 'Committee', in many cases does not know how to run such a thing, (After all, if you are a shopkeeper, trying to run the Association of shopkeepers, this hardly qualifies you to know how to really screw the suppliers on behalf of your members, how to negotiate block insurance rates, etc how to advertise effectively for new members, etc etc. and that is apart from the time element involved) We also look after all their admin, etc. leaving said committee to focus on the members themselves. This creates a Chinese triangle, the Association gets richer, more focussed and more members, the members get more benefits, we get more money.

As for my old Dad, I doubt they need airfields where he is now, as, so I am led to believe, they all have wings.

Dancing Mustard wrote

So, Glide and Fruitcake just completely fucking destrroyed any vaguely interesting story I could have told you about my shitty jobs... good work guys.

No such thing as a vaguely interesting life story Mustard, every one of them is interesting. I agree about jobs being shitty though.

I cleaned toilets back in 2006, those were the days.

ahh.... da toilets, doing that back in nointeenseventoynine mate, newcomer i was, then in the early nointees i was forcing other people to do it or otherwise i wud kik em so hard my foot wud brake off in their ass!

not as bad compared to russia's newcomers though, goodgod.....

oggiss wrote

I cleaned toilets back in 2006, those were the days.

Classic stuff
BACK in 2006...just wish I could have the same telescoped view of time.

I worked for the Flintstones Campground in Valle, Arizona for a few months when I had no money and no home. I worked 17 hours a day for $5 an hour in the middle of the desert just before you get to the GrandCanyon.

I met all kinds of tourists from all over the world:Israeli, German, Muslim, Hippies, Cowboys...

I saw a day time UFO when I was there, and it was witnessed by a few of the other residents of that community. I did a lot of hiking and I lost a lot of weight at the time. Now I work for more money and have gained back some of that weight. My current job is okay (assembling tractor cabs for CAT, John Deere, Liebherr, etc.), but it is not near as fun as what the Flintstone's Campground was!

I registered to vote in Arizona, and my registration card's address was 101 Bedrock City...I still have that card, the people at the voting place questioned its validity and they weren't going to let me vote, I complained and they dropped the issue (maybe they were just kidding, I don't know for sure).

These won't match Glide and Fruitcake's tales but I have some ok stories.

We were visiting my pal in NewZealand and went to the skytower at the casino in Auckland.

When we were getting on the elevator to leave, the other elevator door opens and the palest women ever bolts out like she was on a spring. She was stricken with terror as the elevators have glass walls and floor.

Her companions don't even get out or ask if she's ok or anything they just let the door close and ride up to the next level.

I still wonder how they got her down or what happened from there. It was pretty funny to see.

I Was a 13 year old soccer referee who refereed 8 year old youth teams. The idea was that even though I Was young, the kids I was coaching were even younger so it was OK. This was a big mistake, for, believe it or not, the average 8 year old player would not be as interested in playing soccer as, say, looking a pile of dirt or eating a passing worm.

So there I would be, my poor, unassuming, 13 year old self - whistle in hand, staring helplessly at the coaches on the sideline as the minutes slowly passed by, usually without anything exciting. The worst was when I had to refferree 2 games in a row for a special presidents day tournament or something, because by the second game I Was so tired of standing there in the hot sun that I wasn't paying that much attention to the game itself and messed up a lot of the calls. The kids didn't seem to mind that much, though, and it was 20$ and hour for pay, which was really really really good, i thought.

ALthough, funny story, I never cashed in any of my checks from my time as a referee, i still have 2 checks for 340$ in my mail table, that are completely useless and all they show is the failure that I was at my first, and so far, only job.

I worked (and plan to again this year) as a wheelchair football (american obviously) ref. Thought it was great.

Most interesting memory was watching one of the games and seeing how one teams qb could throw the ball better from his wheelchair than my high school qb could standing up.

Fruitcake wrote:Back in the early 70s my Father bought a large disused airfield with multiple hangers in the Midlands to expand his Storage and Warehouse company.

I went along to work there during my holidays as a teenager. Sweeping floors, cleaning the loos etc (usual stuff..."you'll start at the bottom lad" and all that).

One superb side benefit was when he managed to get a contract for outside storage of cars for the US market. In those days E type jags were all the rage and we would receive these and other Jags from the Browns lane factory in Coventry and they would sit for some days before being loaded onto Transporters to go to the docks.

As a teenager who could drive, I, along with my Bro' would unload the Transporters and park them up...Once we were on our own, we would drag race them along the strip, it was quite incredible. We also managed to set up a kind of track and raced them around there...goodness knows what we did to those new engines, but the sound of the V12 in full throttle with the top down, dragging alongside another has never left me. I learnt so much about controlled slides, fishtailing (no anti skid in those days) double declutching and race driving I have always hankered after drophead chargers ever since....unfortunately life got in the way...so it was not until recently that I managed to reward myself once more.

Late apologies to those Americans who bought those E Types when they finally got to their destinations.

ahh i done that but with the trucks and jeeps great stuff

I've had quite a few jobs before I got myself "stable".
I'd have to say there are two that I'd put at the top for interesting stories.
First would have to be my Navy days. The Gulf War in '91 provided for quite a few. Watching 2 MIGs get shot out of the sky from 2 of our SA missiles going mach-3+ certainly provided for some good entertainment. Shooting up Iraqi gunboats with a 25mm chain gun definitely goes on the list as well.

About a year prior to the war however, while cruising from Hawaii to Japan, we responded to a distress call from a Korean fishing boat. Being a Gunner's Mate, I was part of the boarding party. Turns out two fishermen got into a fight, one stabbed the other with a HUGE steak knife. We brought him over to our ship where he was treated and subsequently released back to Korean officials. I remember as we carried him being able to look right into his side as the wound was ~4" long and almost 1/2" wide. Nasty.

I also was a tower climber for several years before doing what I do now. There's just something about being 750' up on a tower on a beautiful day.
Hard to describe, but memorable nonetheless.

I was working in a small college library for two years.

When I just started working there paraplegic in a invalid chair came and he was trying to open this old, lousy door. I was behind one of the counters in the library and all I heard was bashing on the door.
I thought one of my friends was teasing me so I told the guy to come in. But he was still bashing the door, so I repeated come in.
When he was still bashing I yelled at him him to f*ck off!
Next second door opened and he guy rolled up to the library!


No, you can't imagine how I felt!

does working in a pub at 19/20 count. me and the assistant manger use to get pissed on the beer when we cleaned the lines. you could pull off 3 pints before the cleaning fluid came through. it was a pig pub so we could line up the Guiness,Cider,Lager(2 types) and Bitter. i usually had 1/2 Cider 1/2 Guinnes mix (Black Velvet). out of the vault and the room you could get 6 pints of each topped up with a couple of Lagers. pissed up for nothing.

Fruitcake wrote:oggiss wrote

I cleaned toilets back in 2006, those were the days.

Classic stuff
BACK in 2006...just wish I could have the same telescoped view of time.

hehehe, was my first job