Conquer Club

Forum's dead this morning...

So... anyone else a fan of really (I mean really) bad horror movies? My particular genre is bad zombie movies, because zeds are awesome.

The last one I saw was The Quick and the Undead which was terrible for two reasons:

1) Just bad in general. IE plot, acting, effects. It was great.

2) There was a zombie with a six-shooter on the front. Nowhere in the movie was there a zombie with a gun, which is why I rented the fucking movie! I was misled.

Another question:

Anyone ever consider making a zombie movie? I've got a few ideas...

Oooh, what are your ideas?

browng-08 wrote:Oooh, what are your ideas?

Mainly a few death scenes and a transmission vector I haven't seen used before, but probably has been. Everything's been done these days...


Oh... and fucking zombies with guns!

I approve of zombies with guns.

Snorri1234 wrote:I approve of zombies with guns.

Yes. Hell yes.

As for transmission process. One word: Prions!

More specifically: Kuru

Anyone seen prions before in a zombie flick?

Neoteny wrote:Anyone ever consider making a zombie movie? I've got a few ideas...

I've decided that my final capstone project is to make a zombie graphic novel.

Scene One: Forest near a highway
Prison chain gang is out digging ditches. Random zombie herd takes out the guards, but gets schooled by the chain gang who go to town with shovels, axes, sledge hammers (great gore scene).

Scene Two: Strip club
Prisoners escape and make their way to town. First place they go is the strip club (no zombie movie is complete without boobage). While partying the strip club gets invaded by zombies. The chain gang escapes with their newfound stripper friends to the Home depot next door.

Scene Three: Home Depot
The chain gang holds up in the home depot building creative and grusome tools of destruction out of home depot product inventory. They defend isle by isle, but slowly give up ground to the growing zombie hord. Starting in the garden isle they work back through the store coming up with new and creative ways to kill shit.

Each time they give up an isle they must start over in the next isle making new weapons from the home depot stock.

Scene Four: The Last Stand
The final secion in home depot is the tool rental section. They build an escape vehichle armed with mounted jackhammers, trenchers, chain saws, rototillers and so on. The escape goes well until a zombie breaks through and then the escape vehicle slowly comes apart under the zombie assault. All of the heros get zombiefied except one hot stripper who escapes (for the sequal).

Yeah, I have thought about it before. With a story line like this, who needs a plot?

Harijan wrote:(no zombie movie is complete without boobage)

This might come in handy later.

Harijan wrote:Scene One: Forest near a highway
Prison chain gang is out digging ditches. Random zombie herd takes out the guards, but gets schooled by the chain gang who go to town with shovels, axes, sledge hammers (great gore scene).

Scene Two: Strip club
Prisoners escape and make their way to town. First place they go is the strip club (no zombie movie is complete without boobage). While partying the strip club gets invaded by zombies. The chain gang escapes with their newfound stripper friends to the Home depot next door.

Scene Three: Home Depot
The chain gang holds up in the home depot building creative and grusome tools of destruction out of home depot product inventory. They defend isle by isle, but slowly give up ground to the growing zombie hord. Starting in the garden isle they work back through the store coming up with new and creative ways to kill shit.

Each time they give up an isle they must start over in the next isle making new weapons from the home depot stock.

Scene Four: The Last Stand
The final secion in home depot is the tool rental section. They build an escape vehichle armed with mounted jackhammers, trenchers, chain saws, rototillers and so on. The escape goes well until a zombie breaks through and then the escape vehicle slowly comes apart under the zombie assault. All of the heros get zombiefied except one hot stripper who escapes (for the sequal).

Yeah, I have thought about it before. With a story line like this, who needs a plot?

Perfect, but I'd switch the hot stripper with the standard zombie movie badass. In fact, we should just get Ving Rhames from the new Dawn of the Dead for it. It seems that in every horror movie the only survivor is the just-short-of-hot girl, and its just too obvious a choice.

I sense a problem p_o

im allergic to zombies, they give me rash

So does sex with a dirty hooker

Makari wrote:I sense a problem p_o

Aids ?

Sex with a dirty hooker ftl.

'nuff said.

Bumping this very important thread to save it from being buried under all the random crap threads. Seriously, we need more discussions about zombies and less talk about "Man, look how fast we can raise our post counts."

Did you know the zombie('s mouth) is a manifestation of the mythological "vagina dentata"(aka toothed vagina)? It's also known as the "all-consuming womb" and represents our fear and desire for self-destruction. Yay, Freud and the unity of Eros and Thanatos!

Now you know!


G. I. Joe!

Hmm I never looked into the history of zombiness, please expand.

Needs more info for evil experiments

Harijan wrote:Hmm I never looked into the history of zombiness, please expand.

The zombie; the way it walks, acts and appears, are all subconsciously sexual. It moves like a stiff, swollen erection, moving this way and that, on its quest for "pleasure". It's mouth resembles the idea of a vagina dentata (see my previous post). It exists as Freud's concepts of the sexual component of Eros and the regressive urges of Thanatos, the two components of the"return of the repressed".

I could go further, and likely will later, but now i should go to bed (2:22 am)

>.> you did realise zombies are dead right?
\dead things don't have sex that often <.<

Oy, Sigmund Freud, the guy was using Cocaine when he was doing all of this stuff.

lord_pwnage wrote:>.> you did realise zombies are dead right?
\dead things don't have sex that often <.<

No, the idea of a zombie that you see in movies and fiction is a symbol. It's a representation of deep-seated instincts that society and civilization need to repress in order to insure its existence. Namely Eros (love/lust/creation) and Thanatos (hate/fear/destruction or rather regression). these terms are found and are used by Sigmund Freud.

browng-08 wrote:

lord_pwnage wrote:>.> you did realise zombies are dead right?
\dead things don't have sex that often <.<

No, the idea of a zombie that you see in movies and fiction is a symbol. It's a representation of deep-seated instincts that society and civilization need to repress in order to insure its existence. Namely Eros (love/lust/creation) and Thanatos (hate/fear/destruction or rather regression). these terms are found and are used by Sigmund Freud.

still I hope never to encounter a zombie that wants to rape me xD

lord_pwnage wrote:

browng-08 wrote:

lord_pwnage wrote:>.> you did realise zombies are dead right?
\dead things don't have sex that often <.<

No, the idea of a zombie that you see in movies and fiction is a symbol. It's a representation of deep-seated instincts that society and civilization need to repress in order to insure its existence. Namely Eros (love/lust/creation) and Thanatos (hate/fear/destruction or rather regression). these terms are found and are used by Sigmund Freud.

still I hope never to encounter a zombie that wants to rape me xD

It won't want you... It eats brains!