Conquer Club

Hello there, I am currently in the process of pulling an all nighter to get an essay in on time. Reply to this thread with amusing messages to take my mind off things and I'll check back in an hour and love you forever.

Also congrats and reaching 2 years old CC.

Plus, how is everyone etc?

Whats the paper on?

He said amusing so like call in abanb threat n give him more time where u go to school at n phone number plz

I would like to tell you a story
About how you should feel
It would be rather boring
So another idea I'll steal.

This female elephant was walking along and stepped on a thorn. It hurt so bad and she couldn't get it out. She asked a monkey in the tree above her to help. The monkey said,"Bugger off, Bitch!"

So the female elephant looked down at the ground and saw a small ant.

"Hello, Mr. Ant. Can you help me get the thorn out of my foot?"

"Sure I can! But you will have to let me have sex with you..."

The female elephant thought about this for a bit, and decided to agree. The pain of the thorn was so great and an ant having sex with her...she figured she wouldn't feel a thing anyhow.

So the ant took the thorn out of the elephant's foot and he crawled up her leg and beneath her tail.

The ant held on with all his legs and began pumping away.

Meanwhile, the monkey in the tree was looking down at the whole scene and decided to drop some coconuts on top of the elephant's head.

"Ouch!" the elephant said.

then again and again the monkey dropped coconuts,"Ouch! Ow! Ouch!"

The ant was busy pounding the elephant from behind and he could here her crying out in pain...and the ant said,"Take it ALL, Bitch! Take it ALL!"

Elephants really r afraid of mice i saw it on myth busters the other day I was like no effin way

apey wrote:Elephants really r afraid of mice i saw it on myth busters the other day I was like no effin way

EFFIN way!!!

yeah that is what i said

DaGip wrote:This female elephant was walking along and stepped on a thorn. It hurt so bad and she couldn't get it out. She asked a monkey in the tree above her to help. The monkey said,"Bugger off, Bitch!"

So the female elephant looked down at the ground and saw a small ant.

"Hello, Mr. Ant. Can you help me get the thorn out of my foot?"

"Sure I can! But you will have to let me have sex with you..."

The female elephant thought about this for a bit, and decided to agree. The pain of the thorn was so great and an ant having sex with her...she figured she wouldn't feel a thing anyhow.

So the ant took the thorn out of the elephant's foot and he crawled up her leg and beneath her tail.

The ant held on with all his legs and began pumping away.

Meanwhile, the monkey in the tree was looking down at the whole scene and decided to drop some coconuts on top of the elephant's head.

"Ouch!" the elephant said.

then again and again the monkey dropped coconuts,"Ouch! Ow! Ouch!"

The ant was busy pounding the elephant from behind and he could here her crying out in pain...and the ant said,"Take it ALL, Bitch! Take it ALL!"

The day that Damncing Mustard meets Frolicking Ketchup, is the day I meet Juut-Kuun-Do-gal.

queeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So a rabbie, a priest and a duck walk into a bar.....

jnd94 wrote:So a rabbie, a priest and a duck walk into a bar.....

Ouch.

they should watch where they r goin

jnd94 wrote:So a rabbie, a priest and a duck walk into a bar.....

The hell is a rabbie? Also what are a "rabbie," a priest, and a duck doing together in the first place? What kind of bar is it, metal or a drink bar?

Strife wrote:

jnd94 wrote:So a rabbie, a priest and a duck walk into a bar.....

The hell is a rabbie? Also what are a "rabbie," a priest, and a duck doing together in the first place? What kind of bar is it, metal or a drink bar?

Sorry, that was a typo.....

wicked wrote:queeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

zy

AAFitz wrote:

wicked wrote:queeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

zy

ness

sup qeee1, long time to play or hear, you must be busy m8

Thanks you guys, A+++ thread. would read again.

DaGip gets a prize for the best post.

Em, the paper is on The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton. An amazing book by the way. Sounds like the most boring idea ever, a romance novel set in aristocratic society in New York in 1870s, with an eye to social customs and manners. Yet it's amazing. Y'all should check it out.

Who is apey? Should I be scared?

Back in another hour...

qeee1 wrote:Who is apey? Should I be scared?

Yes, be afraid... Very afraid...

LET'S SPEAK ALIEN - In Ten Easy Lessons

Ever wondered how all those traditional space-opera and epic-fantasy races - the pig-faced warriors, the smug bumheads, and all the rest - came up with their wonderfully clichéd alien vocabularies? It's not difficult; once you've mastered these basic rules, you'll be able to produce names and phrases just as stereotypical as theirs!


----

LESSON ONE
Languages described as "High", like High Martian, Old High Vulcan or indeed High Draconic, aren't from upland regions (as is the case for, eg, High German) - they're ancient and complicated prestige dialects preserved from the days when the Empire was much bigger and better and more sophisticated. Speaking them requires considerable effort, dramatic gestures, and often a special capital-T Talent.
LESSON TWO
Sounds (and sequences of sounds) common in English are still possible in Alienese, but much less common - there are no exotic alien worlds called Stritty or Thudgewundle. Sounds (and sequences of sounds) entirely unused in English are also very rare in Alienese - no Star Trek character will ever be named Bwäølh or Ngì! But sounds (and sequences of sounds) uncommon in English are abundant in Alienese; hence the alien races known as the Xeelee, Chirpsithtra, and Githyanki.
LESSON THREE
Initial K is especially popular (Kazon, Klendathu, Krell, K'kree). Incidentally, there's a good reason for this (and one I'll credit to Steve Mowbray): aliens are obsessed with triangles, a particular shade of green, the number three, and the letter K because they learned everything they know from our TV broadcasts. To be more specific, from a particular episode of "Sesame Street".
LESSON FOUR
Aliens enjoy designing their words to look like Latin or Greek, or occasionally Hebrew; they make heavy use of classical sounds spelt in classical ways, such as X, QU, TH, and PH - hence Thranx, Zarquon, Tholian, Cylon, etcetera. Some, such as the Romulans, Centauri, and Draconians, take it a step further and steal entire words out of Latin dictionaries (or Atlantean TV broadcasts, maybe).
LESSON FIVE
What's more, aliens tend to put classical-looking endings on their names: -ON and -OS are particular favourites for planet names (Axos, Auron, Gothos, Krypton), and if there's any sign of females, their names will end in an unstressed -A (Thuvia, Belanna, Dua, Ardana).
LESSON SIX
A civilisation of billions of individuals will have no trouble allocating each one a unique, pronounceable name a syllable or two long (eg Worf, G'kar, Worsel, Kal-El). They may even manage to make them all alliterate. Exceptions to this rule usually have very long names indeed, though there are a few planets where everyone is called Bruce to save time.
LESSON SEVEN
The names of a species, empire, language, homeworld, homestar and so on will all be self-evidently related; Ogrons come from Ogros, Arisians come from Arisia, Arcturans come from Arcturus, and Humans no doubt come from Humus.
LESSON EIGHT
When the endings aren't pseudoclassical they usually follow the Middle-Eastern standard: Pakistan-i, Minbar-i, Tymbrim-i, Kimdiss-i. Such words often serve both as racial adjective and collective noun, removing the need for a distinct plural; where alien plurals do occur they either end in -I (Fyndii) or occasionally -N (Thrintun).
LESSON NINE
A name dominated by guttural consonants and sibilants (Cthulhu, Troxxt, Chasch) indicates savagery; one with lots of front vowels and sonorants (Alderan, Eloi, Emereli) implies a more civilised nature. Except of course that mysterious gas-giant races always have names like thunderous farting.
LESSON TEN
If they use apostrophes, ignore them - they're not serious. Some aliens will try to tell you that "'" stands for an obscure vowel (F'lar, T'pau, Sp'thra), or a silent consonant (Dra'Azon, Ka'a Orto'o), but in reality it's purely decorative. It's not clear why they choose to use apostrophes rather than, say, umlauts (à la Mötley Crüe) - or peculiar alien squiggles, come to that. Maybe they just want to keep things convenient for ASCII.

wicked wrote:queeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nice sound effect, wicked I assume you are use to hearing that one, eh?

what hecter said

Intriguing developments. Unfortunately I am not scared by aliens, or by people with fairy avatars. At 4:30am I'm bordering on unfeeling.