9/11 - what REALLY happened

It is all now clear.
WTC:
The government hired its own suicide bombers to fly the planes into the WTC towers. Bombs planted inside the building by george bush's brother Marvin himself make them fall down properly. They HAD to fall down. It was NEVER going to be enough to simply fly two jetliners full of passengers and fuel into the US' tallest buildings. Unluckily for our would-be reptilian overlords, the buildings fall faster than gravity, proving to structural engineers and subnormal risk addicts everywhere that it was thuh guvimint what dun it.
Meanwhile WTC 7 is demolished too, for good measure. It was NEVER going to be enough to just demolish the towers. That wouldn't make sense.
Pentagon:
The government steals another plane, a 757, which it buries somewhere, possibly at Area 51. Its passengers and crew are shot if they are liberals, or, if they admit to listening to rush limbaugh's show, are given new identities and shipped to switzerland. The shadowy NWO types fly a missile into the pentagon instead, perhaps painted to look like an AA plane. Anyway it kills loads of pentagon workers. They are all accountants. Everyone else in the pentagon is paid off to pretend it was a plane, which they do because a) all civil servants are essentially evil and b) they all hated the accountants anyway.
Seconds after the explosion, shadowy new world order types drag several tonnes of pieces of 757 wreckage into the building. They need to work quickly because the fire dept will be there any minute. These pieces include the rim of a wheel; part of the landing gear; and pieces of fuselage. They are into the blazing building with these chunks of metal and out again in seconds. Nobody sees anything. Our reptilian overlords wipe their scaly, cold-blooded brows in relief. Phew!
Days later, Retired US airforce Colonel Minerva Bannister Flangethorpe III dares to write to a conspiracy website asking why the shadowy new world order types didn't just fly the original 757 into the building instead of hiding it, chancing it with a missile instead and planting wreckage. He is never heard from again.
I am convinced. Thank god for the internet, and for ron paul.
WTC:
The government hired its own suicide bombers to fly the planes into the WTC towers. Bombs planted inside the building by george bush's brother Marvin himself make them fall down properly. They HAD to fall down. It was NEVER going to be enough to simply fly two jetliners full of passengers and fuel into the US' tallest buildings. Unluckily for our would-be reptilian overlords, the buildings fall faster than gravity, proving to structural engineers and subnormal risk addicts everywhere that it was thuh guvimint what dun it.
Meanwhile WTC 7 is demolished too, for good measure. It was NEVER going to be enough to just demolish the towers. That wouldn't make sense.
Pentagon:
The government steals another plane, a 757, which it buries somewhere, possibly at Area 51. Its passengers and crew are shot if they are liberals, or, if they admit to listening to rush limbaugh's show, are given new identities and shipped to switzerland. The shadowy NWO types fly a missile into the pentagon instead, perhaps painted to look like an AA plane. Anyway it kills loads of pentagon workers. They are all accountants. Everyone else in the pentagon is paid off to pretend it was a plane, which they do because a) all civil servants are essentially evil and b) they all hated the accountants anyway.
Seconds after the explosion, shadowy new world order types drag several tonnes of pieces of 757 wreckage into the building. They need to work quickly because the fire dept will be there any minute. These pieces include the rim of a wheel; part of the landing gear; and pieces of fuselage. They are into the blazing building with these chunks of metal and out again in seconds. Nobody sees anything. Our reptilian overlords wipe their scaly, cold-blooded brows in relief. Phew!
Days later, Retired US airforce Colonel Minerva Bannister Flangethorpe III dares to write to a conspiracy website asking why the shadowy new world order types didn't just fly the original 757 into the building instead of hiding it, chancing it with a missile instead and planting wreckage. He is never heard from again.
I am convinced. Thank god for the internet, and for ron paul.