Conquer Club

Posted: **Fri Nov 02, 2007 8:27 pm**

# Taoism: Shit happens.
# Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
# Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
# Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
# Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
# Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
# Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
# Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
# Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
# Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
# Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
# Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
# Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
# Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
# Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
# Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
# Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
# Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
# Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
# Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
# Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
# Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
# Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
# Creationism: God made all shit.
# Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
# Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
# Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
# Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
# Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
# Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
# Darwinism: This shit was once food.
# Capitalism: That's MY shit.
# Communism: It's everybody's shit.
# Feminism: Men are shit.
# Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
# Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
# Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
# Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
# Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
# Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
# Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
# Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
# Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
# Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
# Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
# Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
# Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.
# Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
# Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
# Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
# Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
# Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
# Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time.
# Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
# Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
# Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
# Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
# Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
# Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
# Atheism: What shit?
# Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!
# Nihilism: No shit.

http://www.thejaywalker.com/pages/shit_happens.html

Posted: **Fri Nov 02, 2007 8:32 pm**

What happened to Gumpism?????

Posted: **Fri Nov 02, 2007 8:32 pm**

DaGip wrote:What happened to Gumpism?????

Shit Happened.

Posted: **Fri Nov 02, 2007 8:35 pm**

That's some funny shit.[/shitty pun]

Get it? It's a DOUBLE pun! *walks away laughing*

Posted: **Fri Nov 02, 2007 8:40 pm**

lol the nihilism one is good. although it's not a religion

Posted: **Fri Nov 02, 2007 8:46 pm**

d.gishman wrote:lol the nihilism one is good. although it's not a religion

Neither is existentialism... just let it go.

Posted: **Fri Nov 02, 2007 9:04 pm**

im from utah

mormonism should be I married to much shit.

Posted: **Fri Nov 02, 2007 9:13 pm**

xtratabasco wrote:im from utah

mormonism should be I married to much shit.

Would you like to start a conspiracy thread about this?

Posted: **Fri Nov 02, 2007 9:50 pm**

unriggable wrote:
xtratabasco wrote:im from utah

mormonism should be I married to much shit.

Would you like to start a conspiracy thread about this?

Posted: **Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:13 pm**

unriggable wrote:
xtratabasco wrote:im from utah

mormonism should be I married to much shit.

Would you like to start a conspiracy thread about this?

sure

but intil i do just google

Joseph Smith and The Occult

theres a million sheep that live in Utah and they aint there for the underware

bhaaaaaa bhhaaaaa

Posted: **Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:18 pm**

The 5th largest religion in the world isn on there.

Posted: **Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:22 pm**

Ooh, ooh! Trivia question, right? Is it Sikhism? :roll:

Posted: **Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:29 pm**

xtratabasco wrote:im from utah

mormonism should be I married to much shit.

I belong to the JBLM's (The Jehovah's Buddhists of LatterDay Muslims)

Posted: **Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:38 pm**

# Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.

Posted: **Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:42 pm**

Arbustos wrote:Ooh, ooh! Trivia question, right? Is it Sikhism?

Correct.

Posted: **Sat Nov 03, 2007 11:11 am**

DaGip wrote:
xtratabasco wrote:im from utah

mormonism should be I married to much shit.

I belong to the JBLM's (The Jehovah's Buddhists of LatterDay Muslims)

Posted: **Sat Nov 03, 2007 11:15 am**

This is a pretty shit thread.

Posted: **Sat Nov 03, 2007 11:19 am**

Norse wrote:This is a pretty shit thread.

QFT
im tired of this religion crap
( no offense to believers )

Posted: **Sat Nov 03, 2007 12:44 pm**

-ShadySoul- wrote:
Norse wrote:This is a pretty shit thread.

QFT
im tired of this religion crap
( no offense to believers )

i love religious jokes!

(again, no offense to believers)

Posted: **Sat Nov 03, 2007 1:00 pm**

mr. incrediball wrote:
-ShadySoul- wrote:
Norse wrote:This is a pretty shit thread.

QFT
im tired of this religion crap
( no offense to believers )

i love religious jokes!

(again, no offense to believers)

Believer: " Oh none taken, mr.incrediball."

Posted: **Sat Nov 03, 2007 1:01 pm**

-ShadySoul- wrote:
mr. incrediball wrote:
-ShadySoul- wrote:
Norse wrote:This is a pretty shit thread.

QFT
im tired of this religion crap
( no offense to believers )

i love religious jokes!

(again, no offense to believers)

Believer: " Oh none taken, mr.incrediball."

see? they love me!

Posted: **Sat Nov 03, 2007 1:50 pm**

mr. incrediball wrote:
-ShadySoul- wrote:
mr. incrediball wrote:
-ShadySoul- wrote:
Norse wrote:This is a pretty shit thread.

QFT
im tired of this religion crap
( no offense to believers )

i love religious jokes!

(again, no offense to believers)

Believer: " Oh none taken, mr.incrediball."

see? they love me!

mhm....proven fact

Posted: **Sat Nov 03, 2007 1:53 pm**

-ShadySoul- wrote:
mr. incrediball wrote:
-ShadySoul- wrote:
mr. incrediball wrote:
-ShadySoul- wrote:
Norse wrote:This is a pretty shit thread.

QFT
im tired of this religion crap
( no offense to believers )

i love religious jokes!

(again, no offense to believers)

Believer: " Oh none taken, mr.incrediball."

see? they love me!

mhm....proven fact

you know, you really should make your sarcasm more obvious.

Posted: **Sat Nov 03, 2007 1:54 pm**

mr. incrediball wrote:
-ShadySoul- wrote:
mr. incrediball wrote:
-ShadySoul- wrote:
mr. incrediball wrote:
-ShadySoul- wrote:
Norse wrote:This is a pretty shit thread.

QFT
im tired of this religion crap
( no offense to believers )

i love religious jokes!

(again, no offense to believers)

Believer: " Oh none taken, mr.incrediball."

see? they love me!

mhm....proven fact

you know, you really should make your sarcasm more obvious.

are u being sarcastic?

Posted: **Sat Nov 03, 2007 1:56 pm**

no. constructive criticism. see, someone less intelligent than, say, nes, wouldn't have got that.

Conquer Club

Shitting on Religion.

Shitting on Religion.