Conquer Club

Sierra_Leon wrote:This used to be a quiet, peaceloving town filled with quiet, peaceloving people. All that changed when NESconqueror stumbled in. Packed with the book he recently acquired - Mafia for Morons TM - and the lunchbox that his mom made for him he set out to do what he knew he was born to do: to mod the greatest mafia game ever and earn the respect of all players, which he so rightfully deserves!

However, things did not go as he had planned. Calling his first try at modding a complete and utter failure would be an understatement. His book didn't help him much, as all it said was "Morons shouldn't play mafia games, let alone mod one!" over and over again, page after page. Perhaps he should've ordered it on e-bay.com instead of definately-not-a-hoax.com.

The townspeople had kindly advised him to play some mafia games before he tried modding one again, so he did. He made sure to be voted out as soon as possible though, so he could count the game as 'played' and raise his record of played games even faster than his postcount. Surely now he would be ready to mod a game. Or so he thought.

Attemp after attemp to mod a mafia game were foiled by his own incompetence. The town was getting a tad irritated at this point. "I'm sorry, I'll stop modding mafia games!", he shouted after every one of his games turned into a disaster. But time after time he broke his promise. He figured he had aimed too high for a beginner and he should try smaller games, but to no avail. Even the 1-person mafia game - where the single participant was mafia and had to get rid of himself - in which only he played bled to death on day one as he had accidentally included the rule of not being allowed to vote for yourself.

After so much disappointment NESconqueror's morale was at an all-time low, but he didn't show it. "No!", he said to himself (he talked to himself a lot as he didn't have many friend to talk to), "I'm not a loser! I can definately mod a mafia game!" He convinced cena-rules, the only person in town who seemed to act the same age he did, to help him mod a mafia-game. The townspeople roared with anger. They protested for days, carrying signs saying "BAN NES", "NES GO HOME" or "WILL HAVE SEX 4 FREE" in kwanton's case. But NESconqueror, ignorant as he is, ignored them all (yes, even kwanton).

The town, once quiet and peaceloving, was now hungry for blood. One could hear voices shouting "The mod must die!" and "Down with NES" echoing through the streets. NESconqueror tried to run for it, but the town had surrounded him. His friend cena-rules had abandoned him. It was just him, seven very angry mafia-players and very high tree with a rope hanging from the top branch. Oh, and some knives and guns and axes too.

The town stripped him naked, carried him to the top of the tree and put the rope around his fragile neck. "I'm sorry!", he screamed, "I won't ever try modding a mafia game again!" "Like we haven't heard that before", the town mumbled. After taking one last look at him on the top of that tree and laughing at his ridiculously small dick, they aimed a gun at his kneecap and pulled the trigger. NESconqueror fell off the branch and fell down towards the gates of hell, where Satan would be eagerly awaiting his arrival.

The rope ran out halfway down the tree, when it snapped. But not before his neck snapped too. His lifeless body landed on the ground all mangled and broken. That didn't stop the townspeople from getting a few kicks in at his corpse though. After a few minutes of kicking and beating up the poor kid's naked corpse, the town felt releaved of its frustrations. Both innocent townies and scummy mafia walked back home arm in arm. "Let's just forget about this whole thing now, shall we?", they said. The game had died. Peace had been restored.

NESconqueror (worst mafia mod ever to have been seen on these boards) has been lynched.

Both town and mafia win!

GreecePwns wrote:Quite possibly the best post ever in the history of this forum.

0ojakeo0 wrote::lol: OMFG im still laughing

firth4eva wrote:fair harsh IMO

Sierra_Leon wrote:

firth4eva wrote:fair harsh IMO

I would just like to say to NES that I in no way intended to insult him personally. I don't know NES at all, so I have no idea what kind of person he is. The only thing I really know about NES is that he should be looking for a new hobby, because playing mafia online isn't exactly working out for him. So NES, don't hate me too much (though I wouldn't care if you did anyway).

To all you other posters: thanks for the compliments. Rest assured that I'll be ready to burn down any new threats to the mafia community, should they arrive.