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Chuck Norris

Postby borox0 on Fri Sep 28, 2007 4:15 pm

Post facts etc. here

Here's some info http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

Heres one to get you started:
Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.
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Postby mr. incrediball on Fri Sep 28, 2007 4:16 pm

oh, oh, oh!

chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.
darvlay wrote:Get over it, people. It's just a crazy lookin' bear ejaculating into the waiting maw of an eager fox. Nothing more.
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Postby mr. incrediball on Fri Sep 28, 2007 4:18 pm

Chuck Norris once invited all of the other badasses from TV to duke it out in order to see who was the supreme badass. Only two showed up-- Jack Bauer and MacGyver.

MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.

Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.
darvlay wrote:Get over it, people. It's just a crazy lookin' bear ejaculating into the waiting maw of an eager fox. Nothing more.
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Postby borox0 on Fri Sep 28, 2007 4:18 pm

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Don't you love pointless facts?
I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.
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Postby Titanic on Fri Sep 28, 2007 4:50 pm

mr. incrediball wrote:Chuck Norris once invited all of the other badasses from TV to duke it out in order to see who was the supreme badass. Only two showed up-- Jack Bauer and MacGyver.


Bruce Lee (when he was alive) kicked his arse in Rome. Want a link to the video?
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Postby borox0 on Fri Sep 28, 2007 4:51 pm

Titanic wrote:
mr. incrediball wrote:Chuck Norris once invited all of the other badasses from TV to duke it out in order to see who was the supreme badass. Only two showed up-- Jack Bauer and MacGyver.


Bruce Lee (when he was alive) kicked his arse in Rome. Want a link to the video?

Yes, that's gotta be hilarious
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Postby mr. incrediball on Fri Sep 28, 2007 4:52 pm

Titanic wrote:
mr. incrediball wrote:Chuck Norris once invited all of the other badasses from TV to duke it out in order to see who was the supreme badass. Only two showed up-- Jack Bauer and MacGyver.


Bruce Lee (when he was alive) kicked his arse in Rome. Want a link to the video?


they mention that on the website:

A movie scene depicting Chuck Norris losing a fight with Bruce Lee was the product of history's most expensive visual effect. When adjusted for inflation, the effect cost more than the Gross National Product of Paraguay.
darvlay wrote:Get over it, people. It's just a crazy lookin' bear ejaculating into the waiting maw of an eager fox. Nothing more.
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Postby unriggable on Fri Sep 28, 2007 6:25 pm

I just realized how awesome it would be to be Chuck Norris. Imagine, people don't fight you, they just run away.
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Postby Fircoal on Fri Sep 28, 2007 6:44 pm

Chuck Norris is Kwan's mother. ;)
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Skoffin wrote: So um.. er... I'll be honest, I don't know what the f*ck to do from here. Goddamnit chu.
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Postby The1exile on Fri Sep 28, 2007 6:45 pm

Doesn't surprise me.
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Postby cena-rules on Sat Oct 20, 2007 12:13 pm

man chuck is so cool
19:41:22 ‹jakewilliams› I was a pedo
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Postby cena-rules on Sat Oct 20, 2007 12:20 pm

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
19:41:22 ‹jakewilliams› I was a pedo
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Postby muy_thaiguy on Sat Oct 20, 2007 12:24 pm

Chuck Norris doesn't feel pain, pain feels Chuck Norris.
"Eh, whatever."
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What, you expected something deep or flashy?
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Postby 0ojakeo0 on Sat Oct 20, 2007 12:27 pm

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard he hit amaila earnheart
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Postby fireedud on Sat Oct 20, 2007 1:47 pm

Chuck Norris died three years ago... the grim reaper is just too afraid to tell him.
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Postby Strife on Sat Oct 20, 2007 2:26 pm

Jesus walked on water, Chuck Norris walked on Jesus. :lol:
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Postby jnd94 on Sat Oct 20, 2007 2:36 pm

Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he doesnt cry. Ever.
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Postby Strife on Sat Oct 20, 2007 2:41 pm

God said "let their be light," Chuck Norris said "say please."
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Postby 0ojakeo0 on Sat Oct 20, 2007 2:44 pm

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
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Postby Strife on Sat Oct 20, 2007 2:48 pm

Once Chuck Norris got mad, this caused the Big-Bang.
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Postby 0ojakeo0 on Sat Oct 20, 2007 2:53 pm

#
# A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
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Postby Strife on Sat Oct 20, 2007 2:56 pm

Chuck Norris once had sex with a Japanese lady the end result was Godzilla.
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Postby muy_thaiguy on Sat Oct 20, 2007 2:59 pm

Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
"Eh, whatever."
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Postby 0ojakeo0 on Sat Oct 20, 2007 3:00 pm

#
# Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
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Postby Strife on Sat Oct 20, 2007 3:18 pm

Chuck Norris' pee smells like Cologne.
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