Marry my daughter
Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 6:09 pmSo this place is pretty weird... marryourdaughter.org! That's right, you too can be married to a 13 year old American Girl for the low low price of a couple of thousand bucks. And the best thing about it is that it's not even remotely creepy or weird!
Don't take my word for it, listen to these TOTALLY NOT WEIRD, SHALLOW, OR CREEPY testimonials:
“Our 15 year old daughter Mary wasn’t very popular and did nothing but mope around the house bringing everybody down, so we decided to marry her off through your site. Now our house is a lot cheerier and we love our new swimming pool and Jaccuzi! We’ve told our youngest that when she turns 15 we’re going to marry her off too!"
—Mrs. James P.
“My mother thought I was getting ‘too frisky” and that I had to get married right away before I lost my purity to some high school boy. Marry Our Daughter found me a husband and my parents were able to keep their house and pay off my mother’s medical bills. I was so glad I could help them, and being married at my age (I'm 16 now) has a lot of advantages, like my own credit card!"
—Nancy A.
"At first we were worried that Janine was too young to get married, but then her new husband bought her a house and a car and jewelry and the money we got let us buy a house for ourselves. Getting out of the trailer park at our age was the best thing that ever happened to us, and it’s all thanks to Marry Our Daughter!"
—Mr. Jack M.
“I was SO scared getting married so young, but my husband is an okay guy and I am SO proud that because of me my parents were able to get their first brand-new car and take the trip they always wanted to. I couldn’t have done it without your site!"
—Katrina K., married at 14
What are you waiting for? Get yourself over to this freakshow before they're all sold! Hurry hurry, get them while they're ripe!
Don't take my word for it, listen to these TOTALLY NOT WEIRD, SHALLOW, OR CREEPY testimonials:
“Our 15 year old daughter Mary wasn’t very popular and did nothing but mope around the house bringing everybody down, so we decided to marry her off through your site. Now our house is a lot cheerier and we love our new swimming pool and Jaccuzi! We’ve told our youngest that when she turns 15 we’re going to marry her off too!"
—Mrs. James P.
“My mother thought I was getting ‘too frisky” and that I had to get married right away before I lost my purity to some high school boy. Marry Our Daughter found me a husband and my parents were able to keep their house and pay off my mother’s medical bills. I was so glad I could help them, and being married at my age (I'm 16 now) has a lot of advantages, like my own credit card!"
—Nancy A.
"At first we were worried that Janine was too young to get married, but then her new husband bought her a house and a car and jewelry and the money we got let us buy a house for ourselves. Getting out of the trailer park at our age was the best thing that ever happened to us, and it’s all thanks to Marry Our Daughter!"
—Mr. Jack M.
“I was SO scared getting married so young, but my husband is an okay guy and I am SO proud that because of me my parents were able to get their first brand-new car and take the trip they always wanted to. I couldn’t have done it without your site!"
—Katrina K., married at 14
What are you waiting for? Get yourself over to this freakshow before they're all sold! Hurry hurry, get them while they're ripe!
Damn feminazis (not trying to start a debat again, just a little joke guys.)