Conquer Club

This is how to make a PB&J sandwitch, according to myself when I was 9 years old. The reason why I'm posting this here is because it's so hilarious with the choice of words I use, as if it was a business document. I tried so hard to sound intelligent when I wrote it, but it just brings tears of laughter everytime I read it. I'm quoting exactly what I wrote, with the spelling mistakes included.

How to Make a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwitch

"Making a peanut butter and jelly sandwitch can be easy to others who can do it, but difficult to others who can't. I am going to make those people be experts at making this particular sandwitch. This is how it's done.

First, you need to have of course, two peaces of bread, a Jar of jelly (Any kind of flavor of jelly you like) and some peanut butter.

Next, you are going to need the materials to make the peanut butter and jelly sandwitch. You need a nice, clean, regular, old, butter knife, a plate thats just big enough to fit the sandwitch into, and a teaspoon or it could be a spoon that you eat mashed potatos with or something.

Then, lay the two peaces of bread out onto a plate. On any peace of the bread, put the jelly on, and on the other peace of bread, put the peanut butter on.

After that, put the peanut butter and jelly touching eachother together.

Finaly, go to some place suituble were your mom and dad will let you eat.

Last, eat it! There now wasn't this fun?"



--Truman

PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME
PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME
PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME
PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME
PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME
PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME
PEANUT BUTTER AND A BASEBALL BAT
PEANUT BUTTER AND A BASEBALL BAT

wtf

family guy

All members of of my immediate family, myself included, eat Smuckers peanut butter exclusively. It has 2 ingredients - peanuts and salt - and you need to mix the oil back into the peanut butter the first time you open the jar.

In fact, throughout elementary school Smuckers peanut butter was the only sandwich my brother would eat.

Sometimes we would run low on Smuckers, which constituted a small crisis because Smuckers peanut butter is only available in the U.S. (although you can buy the jam here in Canada). We'd have to cross the border to Plattsburg or Burlington or ask someone else travelling to the U.S. to bring some back.

So Lack, can we now pay for our premium memberships with jars of Smuckers?

so thats how you do it. Damn.

OK, I wrote one reply but deleted it cause I felt bad...buuuut.....heres a bit of a nicer one....

MY nine year old (only slightly younger that Truman from my point of view) is an excellent writer; I think I'll post one of his dissertations here every day for everyones' enjoyment, especially Trumans, being the consummate writer and all.

And by the way, Choosy Dads choose Jif.

So there.

that settles it, i'm going down and looking up my elementary school literary masterpieces. I'm pretty sure i must have been on acid through second grade.

I rode to third grade in horse drawn buggy, uphill both ways, thru the snow............

Had to settle for white lightnin...didnt get none o that new fangled LSD till I was in college.....!

hey at least you got a ride! we had to walk!

Well I was too drunk to walk......

Created, lost and now found again (by moi), today's revival thread looks at how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwitch (spelled wrong).
Quite frankly I don't know how you Yanks came up with this disgusting formula, but anyway I'm just glad it hasn't spread over here.
Enjoy!

you revived another one.

minihaymanz wrote:PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME
PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME
PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME
PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME
PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME
PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME
PEANUT BUTTER AND A BASEBALL BAT
PEANUT BUTTER AND A BASEBALL BAT

good link to family guy there. and by jelly u mean jam right?

Since we're discussing one of the greatest inventions of all time, I was wondering, does anyone else prefer the PB&J toasted, or better yet, toasted on a plain bagel? or am I the only one?

MR. Nate wrote:Since we're discussing one of the greatest inventions of all time, I was wondering, does anyone else prefer the PB&J toasted, or better yet, toasted on a plain bagel? or am I the only one?

Toasted yes, bagel no. Bagel needs more heavy duty spread, like salmon and cream cheese.

unriggable wrote:

MR. Nate wrote:Since we're discussing one of the greatest inventions of all time, I was wondering, does anyone else prefer the PB&J toasted, or better yet, toasted on a plain bagel? or am I the only one?

Toasted yes, bagel no. Bagel needs more heavy duty spread, like salmon and cream cheese.

u old woman u........

alex_white101 wrote: good link to family guy there. and by jelly u mean jam right?

No, jam usually has the fruit pulp in it. Jelly, on the other hand, has the little pieces of fruit filtered out. Therefore, it spreads easier.

as for the "heavy duty"ness of PB&J, apparently I spread the PB a bit thicker than you do.

alex_white101 wrote:

unriggable wrote:

MR. Nate wrote:Since we're discussing one of the greatest inventions of all time, I was wondering, does anyone else prefer the PB&J toasted, or better yet, toasted on a plain bagel? or am I the only one?

Toasted yes, bagel no. Bagel needs more heavy duty spread, like salmon and cream cheese.

u old woman u........

Or butter...

I'm not that old, only sixteen.

where's koolbak?

And truman? He used to be good for a barney

u toss a loaf of bread, some jelly, and peanut butter into a fire, then eat the ashes

perfect pbj

heavycola wrote:where's koolbak?

And truman? He used to be good for a barney

Koolbak got bullied off the forums by wicked.

btw it's spelt "sandwich".