Actual Soviet Jokes

by **DoomYoshi** on Sat Nov 30, 2019 8:51 am

Unlike the meme, some of these are pretty funny.
https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archi ... mp/602713/

How do we know that Adam and Eve were Soviet citizens? They had one apple between the two of them, they had no clothes, and they believed they were living in paradise.

Why do the KGB thugs always walk around in threes? One can read, one can write, and the third keeps an eye on the two intellectuals.

by **mrswdk** on Sat Nov 30, 2019 9:04 am

Three Soviet are brag about sons. “My son is soldier. He have rape as many women as want,” say first Soviet. “Zo?” second say, “My son is farmer. He have all potato he want!” Third Soviet wait long time, then say, “My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over.” “Wow! You are win us,” say others. But all are feel sad.

How do we know that Adam and Eve were Soviet citizens? They had one apple between the two of them, they had no clothes, and they believed they were living in paradise.

In the Garden of Eden (and thereafter, tbh) God is basically your classic Big Brother fascist.

by **NomadPatriot** on Sat Nov 30, 2019 9:19 am

joke: What does a non-Communist cow say when being sold to China?
A - MAAAAAOOOOO

by **NomadPatriot** on Sat Nov 30, 2019 9:25 am

mrswdk wrote:Three Soviet are brag about sons

by **Dukasaur** on Sat Nov 30, 2019 9:31 am

Back home there was a periodic change in the propaganda. Some years we were to refer to the Russians as "our brothers", other years as "our saviors" and other years "our best friends."

Those who didn't pay proper attention to the propaganda were sometimes left unaware that it had changed.

Schoolteacher wants to make sure her kids are on the ball, so she has a surprise quiz. "Are the Russians our brothers or our best friends?"

Little Jan doesn't miss a beat. "Obviously the Russians are our brothers. We choose our own friends."

by **Dukasaur** on Sat Nov 30, 2019 3:46 pm

by **betiko** on Sun Dec 01, 2019 4:41 am

mrswdk wrote:Three Soviet are brag about sons. “My son is soldier. He have rape as many women as want,” say first Soviet. “Zo?” second say, “My son is farmer. He have all potato he want!” Third Soviet wait long time, then say, “My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over.” “Wow! You are win us,” say others. But all are feel sad.

lol i don't know if this would be as funny without that perfect broken english. you can just imagine the tone