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My boss doesn't know he has ADHD; what do?

PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2019 8:11 am
by what,me worry?
I work in fitness so my immediate boss doesn't spend too much time around his bosses

He is talks non-stop (not on drugs, legal or illegal), loves folding all the towels, walks around speaking with members unnaturally and non-stop like he's on Adderall, is below average intelligence but lectures people on everything (see:talking out of a$*), and has trouble focusing on tasks.

He enjoys coffee which calms him down

Long story short, it just hit me yesterday that this is a strong possibility. I'm introverted, intellectual, and accomplished in fitness. I believe he is intimidated by me being there as he talks behind my back and other employees. He even threw me under the bus twice. The last instance he had to lie to do so and was wrong for not calling me (sitch: had to cancel with client, she came and worked out by herself. He saw her and called corporate saying I no-showed at work. He said he spoke to her and she didn't know where I was. I have the texts as evidence to prove his maliciousness/deception)

Essentially, I'm the best player on his team. Now, do I chalk this up to impulsiveness as part of his ADHD or other hyperactive disorder or a mix of being jelly/anxious plus the former?

I told corporate I'd sit him down yesterday. He cancelled the meeting 10 mins before and my commute is 40 mins one way..... :roll:

So, today...how should I go about this?

Re: My boss doesn't know he has ADHD; what do?

PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2019 8:24 am
by HitRed
Go to work. Keep your job. Say nothing. If a meeting starts, Keep it professional.

Re: My boss doesn't know he has ADHD; what do?

PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2019 8:28 am
by DoomYoshi
At my work, we deal with conflict through arm wrestling matches. It seems like in your line of work that is far more appropriate.

Re: My boss doesn't know he has ADHD; what do?

PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2019 8:33 am
by HitRed


Best ever!

Re: My boss doesn't know he has ADHD; what do?

PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2019 8:49 am
by NomadPatriot
sounds like you obsessively pay attention to your boss.
have loads of praise to lay at your own feet
when you did something wrong at work you didn't own up to it..

and are now trying to justify your actions by insinuating your boss is on drugs, is suffering from ADHD, Lies, & loves folding Towels.

2 options..
1) grow up, leave your boss alone & do your job.
2) take all that praise your piled up at your own feet and see just how good you are .. go get another job doing what he does somewhere else.. . .I mean . you are the greatest , smartest, fitness guy ever.

best way to move up in a company is to complain about your boss. everyone loves the complainer..

" I told corporate I'd sit him down ".. you .. told Corporate.. you ..would 'sit down' your boss.. I am sure corporate is just joyous at the thought of you.. 'sitting them down' if they do not do what you want.

Re: My boss doesn't know he has ADHD; what do?

PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2019 9:29 am
by HitRed
My first job was as a civilian working with the military. I was in a room with 3 Majors and Captains. They were discussing a new medical kit they were designing for the field. There was a flaw in the way they wanted to design it. I mentioned this and after a long silence was told, "If you speak again you will be escorted to the hallway." 5 minutes later guess what? Hallway. Power is power.

Re: My boss doesn't know he has ADHD; what do?

PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2019 9:35 am
by KoolBak
:lol: Sad but so true....what ya gonna do?

OP...seems to me those people simply have a serious case of inferiority complex and, unfortunately, they manage it by being loud and stupid. Smile and suck it up. Or throat punch....either way :lol:

Re: My boss doesn't know he has ADHD; what do?

PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2019 9:51 am
by what,me worry?
IDK

My gut says to be calm and ask questions like a therapist. Ask him to express his feelings so we can get to the root cause

You see, this all hit me like a ton of bricks as I was in the shower washing my balls. Then it hit me that things hit me while on the shower washing my balls

I'll probably make the decision later after a shower pre meeting

Re: My boss doesn't know he has ADHD; what do?

PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2019 9:59 am
by 2dimes
How long have you worked there?

Re: My boss doesn't know he has ADHD; what do?

PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2019 11:36 am
by NomadPatriot
so.. you were thinking about your boss while you were rubbing soap on your balls in the shower...?????

not sure if your boss is the one needing the therapist......

Re: My boss doesn't know he has ADHD; what do?

PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2019 1:30 pm
by what,me worry?
2dimes wrote:How long have you worked there?


2.5 months

I'm a hot prospect who's untouchable

He'll try to strawman and lean into me

I plan to just ask questions and have him explain his thought process, pros and cons. Goal is for that to never happen again. Even if I did no show a client he should do the session for me or call me directly, keep the matter internal (be a team player and protect his guys)

Re: My boss doesn't know he has ADHD; what do?

PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2019 1:34 pm
by HitRed
Some people are golden, most are not.

Re: My boss doesn't know he has ADHD; what do?

PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2019 2:39 pm
by 2dimes
He sounds pretty petty. Let us know what happens.

Re: My boss doesn't know he has ADHD; what do?

PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2019 2:53 pm
by HitRed
I would just like to add that absenteeism is a huge problem is business. It huts to owner, the employee and the customer.

Re: My boss doesn't know he has ADHD; what do?

PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2019 3:28 pm
by DoomYoshi
HitRed wrote:Some people are golden, most are not.


people are like showers...

Re: My boss doesn't know he has ADHD; what do?

PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2019 4:08 pm
by HitRed
DoomYoshi wrote:
HitRed wrote:Some people are golden, most are not.


people are like showers...


:?

Re: My boss doesn't know he has ADHD; what do?

PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2019 4:18 pm
by what,me worry?
HitRed wrote:I would just like to add that absenteeism is a huge problem is business. It huts to owner, the employee and the customer.


Absent minded bosses do harm the business, don't they?


The talk went better than expected. Take over still a go

Re: My boss doesn't know he has ADHD; what do?

PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2019 5:36 pm
by saxitoxin
what,me worry? wrote:
HitRed wrote:I would just like to add that absenteeism is a huge problem is business. It huts to owner, the employee and the customer.


Absent minded bosses do harm the business, don't they?


The talk went better than expected. Take over still a go


Was it a talk?

Image

Or a "talk?"

Image

Re: My boss doesn't know he has ADHD; what do?

PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2019 7:10 pm
by what,me worry?
saxitoxin wrote:
what,me worry? wrote:
HitRed wrote:I would just like to add that absenteeism is a huge problem is business. It huts to owner, the employee and the customer.


Absent minded bosses do harm the business, don't they?


The talk went better than expected. Take over still a go


Was it a talk?

Image

Or a "talk?"

Image


Vis-a-vis my superior psychology, he left feeling like the former when in reality it was more of the latter

It's an art

I kept typing out stuff as he spoke, made a psychological profile of him, etc. Typing away the whole time

He only brought a small pink post-it pad and fervently tried to keep up at the end. That in itself was a win. Perfect! (Street fighter voice)

Re: My boss doesn't know he has ADHD; what do?

PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2019 11:18 pm
by Symmetry
Honestly, HR, you've obviously got a bit of a habit of undermining. I ain't saying that you're not the smartest person, but you do seem to have a habit of pulling this same stunt and over and over. You won't have a real conversation with your direct supervisor, and then you'll try to undermine them in a meeting, or by some other method, to show that you're superior.

Is that fair comment?

The problem you face isn't that your manager isn't as smart as you. It's that his/her job is to manage a team of people. One of whom thinks they're too awesome for management and likes to diagnose people with learning disorders when things don't quite go their own way.

Do you really think you could do a better job?

Re: My boss doesn't know he has ADHD; what do?

PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2019 11:22 pm
by mookiemcgee
what,me worry? wrote:I work in fitness so my immediate boss doesn't spend too much time around his bosses

He is talks non-stop (not on drugs, legal or illegal), loves folding all the towels, walks around speaking with members unnaturally and non-stop like he's on Adderall, is below average intelligence but lectures people on everything (see:talking out of a$*), and has trouble focusing on tasks.

He enjoys coffee which calms him down

Long story short, it just hit me yesterday that this is a strong possibility. I'm introverted, intellectual, and accomplished in fitness. I believe he is intimidated by me being there as he talks behind my back and other employees. He even threw me under the bus twice. The last instance he had to lie to do so and was wrong for not calling me (sitch: had to cancel with client, she came and worked out by herself. He saw her and called corporate saying I no-showed at work. He said he spoke to her and she didn't know where I was. I have the texts as evidence to prove his maliciousness/deception)

Essentially, I'm the best player on his team. Now, do I chalk this up to impulsiveness as part of his ADHD or other hyperactive disorder or a mix of being jelly/anxious plus the former?

I told corporate I'd sit him down yesterday. He cancelled the meeting 10 mins before and my commute is 40 mins one way..... :roll:

So, today...how should I go about this?


Is this a passive aggressive "I work for bigwham and hate it" thread?

Re: My boss doesn't know he has ADHD; what do?

PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2019 11:46 pm
by NomadPatriot
Symmetry wrote:Honestly, HR, you've obviously got a bit of a habit of undermining. I ain't saying that you're not the smartest person, but you do seem to have a habit of pulling this same stunt and over and over. You won't have a real conversation with your direct supervisor, and then you'll try to undermine them in a meeting, or by some other method, to show that you're superior.

Is that fair comment?

The problem you face isn't that your manager isn't as smart as you. It's that his/her job is to manage a team of people. One of whom thinks they're too awesome for management and likes to diagnose people with learning disorders when things don't quite go their own way.

Do you really think you could do a better job?


this What, Me Worry's thread.. Not HR's..
HR isn't the OP

Re: My boss doesn't know he has ADHD; what do?

PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2019 11:50 pm
by Symmetry
NomadPatriot wrote:
Symmetry wrote:Honestly, HR, you've obviously got a bit of a habit of undermining. I ain't saying that you're not the smartest person, but you do seem to have a habit of pulling this same stunt and over and over. You won't have a real conversation with your direct supervisor, and then you'll try to undermine them in a meeting, or by some other method, to show that you're superior.

Is that fair comment?

The problem you face isn't that your manager isn't as smart as you. It's that his/her job is to manage a team of people. One of whom thinks they're too awesome for management and likes to diagnose people with learning disorders when things don't quite go their own way.

Do you really think you could do a better job?


this What, Me Worry's thread.. Not HR's..
HR isn't the OP


Fair point, apologies. although weirdly I think the general advice still stands. Consider whether you're undermining a manager when they're trying to coordinate a bunch of different people.

Re: My boss doesn't know he has ADHD; what do?

PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2019 11:55 pm
by NomadPatriot
Symmetry wrote:
NomadPatriot wrote:
Symmetry wrote:Honestly, HR, you've obviously got a bit of a habit of undermining. I ain't saying that you're not the smartest person, but you do seem to have a habit of pulling this same stunt and over and over. You won't have a real conversation with your direct supervisor, and then you'll try to undermine them in a meeting, or by some other method, to show that you're superior.

Is that fair comment?

The problem you face isn't that your manager isn't as smart as you. It's that his/her job is to manage a team of people. One of whom thinks they're too awesome for management and likes to diagnose people with learning disorders when things don't quite go their own way.

Do you really think you could do a better job?


this What, Me Worry's thread.. Not HR's..
HR isn't the OP


Fair point, apologies. although weirdly I think the general advice still stands. Consider whether you're undermining a manager when they're trying to coordinate a bunch of different people.


I think we are actually In agreement on something here Sym.. your advice basically mirrors mine from this morning..
let's not agree like this too often. .it isn't healthy ..

Re: My boss doesn't know he has ADHD; what do?

PostPosted: Sat Jun 22, 2019 9:50 am
by what,me worry?
Symmetry wrote:Honestly, HR, you've obviously got a bit of a habit of undermining. I ain't saying that you're not the smartest person, but you do seem to have a habit of pulling this same stunt and over and over. You won't have a real conversation with your direct supervisor, and then you'll try to undermine them in a meeting, or by some other method, to show that you're superior.

Is that fair comment?

The problem you face isn't that your manager isn't as smart as you. It's that his/her job is to manage a team of people. One of whom thinks they're too awesome for management and likes to diagnose people with learning disorders when things don't quite go their own way.

Do you really think you could do a better job?


I did the best I could while trying to manage my manager

He's incompetent and I believe I helped him in the long run

The lens you look through gives the equivalent distortion equivalent to that of a fun house mirror. You just want to see the world burn, Sym