Conquer Club

So I have a puppy. 7 month old little girl, rescue doggie. She’s very food oriented, so I keep treats in my pocket for her at all times. I can control her by telling her to sit, then reaching into my treat pocket; sometimes she gets one, other times if she’s being naughty she just gets tricked and receives no reward.

This tale of trickery goes beyond that ploy.

Had a hard day at work. Unloaded a truck full of 76 air handlers and 76 condensers. Heavy stuff. Only help I had was a hungover, 50 year old Browns fan. (I’m working near Cleveland). Took 5 hours. I’m management and don’t typically have to do the grunt work anymore, but I’m The Boss, and if work needs doing, I’m doing it.

So I came home, exhausted, and went to bed for an hour. Now mind you, if I’m in bed, I’m naked. Wife took puppy for a walk while I rested. When she got back, pup remembered I was in the room and barged in. (She’s figured out how to work the door lever and I haven’t yet mastered locks). So she gives me kisses, I’m safe under the covers, but she’s getting bitey. So I get out of bed and make her sit; she does. But I’m stark naked with no treats. What to do?

I simulate reaching down my thigh, and pulling out a fake treat, then turn and walk out the room, saying “come!” Silly dog completely falls for it and follows me out. I make her sit, show the empty hand, then duck back into my room, close the door, and get dressed.

Here is something dogs can’t understand; how I could just TRICK A DOG!

That is not how I thought the story would end.

I'm not sure if tricking your dog is more or less cruel than spanking your monkey.

TL:DR

Serbia naked, "gave his dog a treat".

Dukasaur wrote:I'm not sure if tricking your dog is more or less cruel than spanking your monkey.

I sincerely hope that you are sure.

DoomYoshi wrote:That is not how I thought the story would end.

Yeah, about paragraph 4 I thought it was going to end with Serbia getting his dick bit off by an angry dog and having to go to the ER.

Well, Springsteen, have you done the "throw the tennis ball" mime? That's always fun.

saxitoxin wrote:

DoomYoshi wrote:That is not how I thought the story would end.

Yeah, about paragraph 4 I thought it was going to end with Serbia getting his dick bit off by an angry dog and having to go to the ER.

You sick individual. I thought this was going to be about how he tricked his dog into being a Lions fan and the betrayal felt after the Browns did better.

So do you think she followed when you said come ONLY because you pantomimed pulling a treat out yo thigh? Or will she follow that command without bribery?

Sounds like shes got YOU buffaloed into feeding her to do something she'd do anyway....lol.

However, I see my sister perform miracles with her corgis (no kids, so....) and she always has treats on her too.

And OMG...you had to work with a FIFTY year old?!?! f*ck me.....that musta sucked.....

THIS fifty five year old had to teach his son to remove, diagnose and replace the starter in his truck today.....may have grunted a lot, but hey.....i was fucking useful!

Ya punk

I'd choose changing a starter over unloading a 40 foot van load of air handlers and condensers.

Our family had a Welsh Corgi decades ago, he liked having jobs. He even helped herd some cows once without much training.

My current dog is too excited to listen sometimes and he should have mellowed out by now. He's still a pretty good boy.

Our frenchie bitch is 95% food motivated. Sometimes she won't come at all until you ask, "Do you want a treat?" I never did keep some in a pocket, though one of my hoodies had some in it's pocket for a while intended for the off leash park.

Well, duh. I wasn't comparing jobs....I was exploring the usefulness of the semi-elderly, ya dork.

All her corgis are blue medal winners constantly at the 6 different types of competitions she goes to....yeah, they're smart. And when one never has children, just think of all the time and effort one can spend on ones dogs....

My dobies always minded well and did the standard shit. Sit, stay, down, come, shred, frappe, obliterate...you know. Never had the time to get fancy....

i trust you also taught him the 'emergency start procedures" when dealing w/a starter that's about to shit the bed, yeah?

the old hammer across the solenoid posts? Or the "dont shut the fucking motor off!!!" ?

My father in law claimed his friends wife had a dumb corgi, I figured it was probably just spoiled or something.

My dog rarely wants to sit. For some reason he either wants to stand, run or lay down. I accept laying down as obeying that request since he often does that instead when you tell him to sit.

Kind of hillarious to me, one time I was telling my dad how the dog did not like to sit, of course he promptly came and sat beside me on the couch for some reason as if he understood the conversation and wanted to prove he could sit.

We went for a five hour walk on Sunday. I complained because my wife didn't want me stopping everytime I got near a suitable object for sitting on during the last hour.

KoolBak wrote:the old hammer across the solenoid posts? Or the "dont shut the fucking motor off!!!" ?

lol, the hammer... - usually'll get you 2-3 more starts before complete & total kaput.

riskllama wrote:

KoolBak wrote:the old hammer across the solenoid posts? Or the "dont shut the fucking motor off!!!" ?

lol, the hammer... - usually'll get you 2-3 more starts before complete & total kaput.

Trick that these days is just about unknown....course you need an older vehicle to use it on....lol. I remember my first car, a 73 el camino, the wiring harness took a shit and my boss showed me that. Started it that way for 2 weeks til I cheesed in a push button start. Makes a hell of a sound / light show, doesnt it?? Still have that hammer....fucker looks like its been arc welded on

Thanks for that memory ;o)

Back to doggy shit .....

I think Llama is talking about giving the starter a couple of encouraging taps when the brushes start to get old. I think we got about an extra month out of one of ours when we were too poor to just go get the new starter right away.

This was my first red bitch....totally awesome dobie. I would tell her to lay down and stay. Then I'd point at her and laugh becuase she had to stay there....she would do this....snarl and growl and bark and look ferocious...gods it pissed her off....lmao. When I told her "free" she'd bounce up happy as a clam all wiggly and having had fun at our game.....she had all kinds of funny habits and was my best dog ever....miss you baby

My sister has a corgi and it's a complete cunt. You can't walk it around other dogs without her trying to bully them into submission. It's kinda funny around big dogs though, i keep waiting for her to get wrecked.

It can be awesome when you have a canine motivated just by the joy it brings them to do tasks.

Sometimes having a really smart one is not great.

My dog knows things like, when we pack the trailer we will be going camping soon, so then he doesn't want to be left behind and it's a pain until we finally go camping when you need to leave the house without him. Sometimes I go as far as letting him sit in the vehicle while I do a short task in the yard to avoid fighting with him at the back door. Then when I'm done I go where he's happily waiting and retrieve him to go back in the house.

Once we were at Montana fun Weekend and left him tied to the trailer while we went to buy something in Cut Bank. When we returned my buddy videoed him crying when we left. We never knew he did that before. It sounded pathetic and I felt a little bit bad.

2dimes wrote:
Once we were at Montana fun Weekend and left him tied to the trailer while we went to buy something in Cut Bank. When we returned my buddy videoed him crying when we left. We never knew he did that before. It sounded pathetic and I felt a little bit bad.

ah, that's rough.