Conquer Club

The FBI can't even be trusted to carry firearms, clearly they can't be trusted to run any serious investigation either.

President Trump needs to dissolve the FBI.

Did he have something to eat first because if he did, given that he left afterwards there's a really funny story I can tell you about how to use commas in a sentence. I don't want to ruin it, but basically it's about a panda in a bar and their typical diet. It's hilarious. There's no dancing though, so the story doesn't quite fit, but it's pretty clever. It's probably funnier if you say it out loud though. It's a bit like the joke about the horse with the long face and the bartender who thinks he's depressed because all horses look depressed. The joke would work better if the FBI guy was a panda though, and if he ate something first. I mean, we can still make it work- maybe if someone saw him eating first and shouted "that guy's like a panda" just after the FBI guy left. People might not get it at first, but then they'd get it a bit later and realise it was funny.

You bamboozled me with that one.

An FBI agent walks into a bar that serves food and orders some bamboo shoots and leaves. Then he eats them. I think I'm telling this wrong, but anyway, he eats his bamboo. Then he does some dancing. The FBI agent is a panda by the way. So he does some dancing and he drops his gun and it goes off when he tries to pick it up and he shoots some random guy in the leg and he has to go to hospital. The random guy goes to hospital, not the FBI guy, who is a panda. Anyway, the FBI panda leaves, and people are like, "why did he leave, after shooting a guy and after he ate all those bamboo shoots and leaves?" Then this one other guy is like, let's look up pandas in an encyclopedia, and they all look and they see that a panda "eats shoots and leaves", so they're all ok with it. Wait- maybe only one guy looked read it and said it out loud to the other people. Anyway it sounds like "eats, shoots, and leaves", and less like gross negligence on the part of the agent and the FBI in general for hiring a panda in the first place.

Symmetry wrote:An FBI agent walks into a bar that serves food and orders some bamboo shoots and leaves. Then he eats them. I think I'm telling this wrong, but anyway, he eats his bamboo. Then he does some dancing. The FBI agent is a panda by the way. So he does some dancing and he drops his gun and it goes off when he tries to pick it up and he shoots some random guy in the leg and he has to go to hospital. The random guy goes to hospital, not the FBI guy, who is a panda. Anyway, the FBI panda leaves, and people are like, "why did he leave, after shooting a guy and after he ate all those bamboo shoots and leaves?" Then this one other guy is like, let's look up pandas in an encyclopedia, and they all look and they see that a panda "eats shoots and leaves", so they're all ok with it. Wait- maybe only one guy looked read it and said it out loud to the other people. Anyway it sounds like "eats, shoots, and leaves", and less like gross negligence on the part of the agent and the FBI in general for hiring a panda in the first place.

Reminds me of a story of a poster who can't tell a story.

Bernie Sanders wrote:

Symmetry wrote:An FBI agent walks into a bar that serves food and orders some bamboo shoots and leaves. Then he eats them. I think I'm telling this wrong, but anyway, he eats his bamboo. Then he does some dancing. The FBI agent is a panda by the way. So he does some dancing and he drops his gun and it goes off when he tries to pick it up and he shoots some random guy in the leg and he has to go to hospital. The random guy goes to hospital, not the FBI guy, who is a panda. Anyway, the FBI panda leaves, and people are like, "why did he leave, after shooting a guy and after he ate all those bamboo shoots and leaves?" Then this one other guy is like, let's look up pandas in an encyclopedia, and they all look and they see that a panda "eats shoots and leaves", so they're all ok with it. Wait- maybe only one guy looked read it and said it out loud to the other people. Anyway it sounds like "eats, shoots, and leaves", and less like gross negligence on the part of the agent and the FBI in general for hiring a panda in the first place.

Reminds me of a story of a poster who can't tell a story.

Cool story, bro.

Do you know any stories about koalas?

Dukasaur wrote:Do you know any stories about koalas?

Just one, but it's basically the same as the previous one, except the FBI agent is a koala instead of an FBI agent, but still a panda.