Conquer Club

What do you call a happy mushroom?

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Did you like that joke?

No?

Well unless you have a better one,

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[Did you hear about the fly on the toilet seat?

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Why aren't cats alcoholics?

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You don't call me daddy. Only your momma calls me daddy.

warmonger1981 wrote:You don't call me daddy. Only your momma calls me daddy.

f*ck bro, am I adopted?

if carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up...

I once fucked a girl with a carrot. I even made her take a bite and say " what's up doc". No bullshit.

warmonger1981 wrote:I once fucked a girl with a carrot. I even made her take a bite and say " what's up doc". No bullshit.

That s no dad joke. I ain't telling it to my daughter.

I'll tell her. She would prefer it. Trust me. I

My dad tells this one to each new generation. He and kids find it funny.

Dad: What's the difference between a post box (mailbox for US types) and an elephant's bottom?
Small child: I don't know.
Dad: I won't trust YOU to post a letter then...

I had a similar one when my kids were small:
Dad: What's the difference between Daddy's pocket and a litter bin?
Child: I don't know.
Dad: Well I wish you'd learn! Go and put this in the bin, not Daddy's pocket.

At least they didn't throw it on the ground though.

My wife is always throwing shit at me, but lucky for me her aim is terrible.

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How does Bob Marley like his donuts?

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What's Bruce Lee's favorite drink?

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------I use these ones my father would tell every Yankee day...
-------Why is The 4th of July?...get it..."Y" is the fourth letter in the word July...
-------Or why can't you write to WASHINGTON on Yankee day?...
-------Because he is dead.... ConfederateSS.out!(The Blue and Silver Rebellion)...