Conquer Club

PLANET Earth II viewers have demanded that animals get their own criminal justice system to stop them doing horrible things.

After the wildlife documentary showed snakes trying to kill a baby iguana, many Britons now believe animals need their own laws and a police force.

Administrator Nikki Hollis said: “These snakes are doing the most horrific things without the slightest fear of being arrested and punished.

“Animals need to realise they won’t be safe until they have laws and enforce them. Gorillas could be the police, because they’re massive and won’t put up with any nonsense, and wise animals like owls could be judges.

“Criminal animals will soon get the message once a few are sentenced to life for murder. Obviously animals don’t have prisons yet but I’m sure the monkeys could build cages.”

Graphic designer Tom Logan said: “After seeing the extent of lawlessness in the animal kingdom I think we need to get the human courts involved.

“The conviction rate will be high because most animals make no attempt to hide their crimes, leaving a wealth of DNA and video evidence.

“We also need an emergency rescue service for baby penguins, because that episode of Life in the Freezer made me blub in front of my mates.”

Phatscotty wrote:Plants have rights in Switzerland. The fad starting with redefining marriage is likely to continue all the way to legalizing beastiality. Think I'm joking? Then volunteer yourself as the person who is going to explain to the 'citizen of the world' who self identifies their gender, sex, and exiatence as a hermaphroditic half human half dog based solely on 'how they feel 'inside' that it's not okay for them to love dogs the same way they love humans. Love is love, and love has won 2.0 status.

Bravo to the op

Phatscotty wrote: Think I'm joking? Then volunteer yourself as the person who is going to explain to the 'citizen of the world' who self identifies their gender, sex, and exiatence as a hermaphroditic half human half dog based solely on 'how they feel 'inside' that it's not okay for them to love dogs the same way they love humans.

betiko wrote:

Phatscotty wrote:Plants have rights in Switzerland. The fad starting with redefining marriage is likely to continue all the way to legalizing beastiality. Think I'm joking? Then volunteer yourself as the person who is going to explain to the 'citizen of the world' who self identifies their gender, sex, and exiatence as a hermaphroditic half human half dog based solely on 'how they feel 'inside' that it's not okay for them to love dogs the same way they love humans. Love is love, and love has won 2.0 status.

Bravo to the op

hummm nope. In the vast majority of western countries, it is considered that animals cannot give consent to sexual ativities, and there are laws against beastiality as you call it, as it is considered as animal crualty.
In reality, I don't really give a shit if a lonely old grandma gets her vajayjay licked by her poodle when no one is around; and I guess her poodlle is having fun too; but I'd be totally shocked if any law is passed in favour of making any zoophilic act as "normal" or tolerated.
You are comparing apples and pears... Just imagine you had a female body and still your own mind. Would you have to switch to man loving? If not... would you become a lesbian? Seems like you would be pretty screwed scotty. Give these people a chance. Also, have you seen a 3D medical explanation of what a sex change is? That is the most disturbing thing ever, couldn't watch half of it. If people not only can watch the video, but after that decide to still ask for that surgery... I believe they are in fucking emotional pain if they accept such change.

BoganGod wrote:Scotty, admirable restraint not mentioning beast brothels in progressive places like Holland and Germany. Tis a slippery slope. I think polygamy should be legal, so many left over women due to so many men being gay. Legalising polygamy might lead to other evils. Who knows. Good to have you back bro.

The black, tan, brindle and white, queer asexual non binary super JESUS