Conquer Club

Inspired by what passes for "current affairs" in Britain these days, how do you tell other people you're off to answer a call of nature, or to drop a load?

For me, it depends on the company, but with most people I'll say "I'm off to the bog". In politer company, I say "I'm off to the toilet". With closer friends and relatives, I detail exactly what I'm about to do, eg "I'm going for a shit", or "I'm off for a slash."

What do you say?

Either 'just nipping to the loo' or 'just going for a piss' depending on the company.

ummm...gotta go...

like most have said depends on the company, normally its "I gotta urinate"

I usually say... "Be right back... Restroom"

If it is just me and my lady... "I gotta piss"

I may also just say "Hold on"

And if I am at a restaurant somewhere, I say "Excuse me, I'll be right back"

I used to use the phrase, "I'm away for a Sir Douglas", after a former tory MP

Usually I'll just say, 'I'm just nipping to the toiler' but sometimes I might 'go see a man about a dog' or 'go to lay some cable'.

Anarkistsdream wrote:I usually say... "Be right back... Restroom"

If it is just me and my lady... "I gotta piss"

I may also just say "Hold on"

And if I am at a restaurant somewhere, I say "Excuse me, I'll be right back"

if its just me and my lady i say ill be right back, or something to that effect im only upfront if its my buds

Just a thought, from now on I might say, 'I'm off to cash a set'.

I mix it up extensively.

I have to pee.

I need to find a facility.

I need to go to the washroom.

Oh oh, I'll be back.

Some funny ones I've heard several times in the past.
"Time to drop the kids off at the pool."
Hold your abdomen for best effect.
Also recall, "gotta crunch." and "I have to go pinch a loaf."

goin to the shitter

goin for a splashdown.

I once went out with a guy who used to say he was "off to create a danger to shipping".... nice guy, can't think why I don't see him anymore!.

But for me it's pretty much "just popping to the loo"

Danger to shipping? That's a good one.

I say "jeg må bare på toalettet/do"

Fordi du er fra Norge.

lol v topical stopper

i can't believe people still exist who actually judge you on the word you use for 'khazi'. I think Ms Middleton got off lightly, personally.


Now please excuse me, I must crimp off a length.

I always find 'excuse me, back in a mo' is good enough.
Perhaps I'm just too uptight though...

i sometimes say that i 'gotta go wonder about the world' and if people say what, i just say i need a shit

Dropping the kids off at the pool

Need to go make some rain

those are my two

i gotta try some of these

when at work i say i will be back in a bit. usually it is just to take the paper for a 15 minute read(most of the time i don`t even need a shit).
when with my wife, i say i`m going for a piss or shit(been together too long to worry about upsetting her).

I usually say that I'm taking a pit stop.

Or that I'm lightening the load.


But on occasion when I really have to go, I say "Excuse me, I need to keep our local plumber in business"

I GOT SERVED wrote:I usually say that I'm taking a pit stop.

Or that I'm lightening the load.


But on occasion when I really have to go, I say "Excuse me, I need to keep our local plumber in business"

I GOT SERVED wrote:I usually say that I'm taking a pit stop.

Or that I'm lightening the load.


But on occasion when I really have to go, I say "Excuse me, I need to keep our local plumber in business"

ooh, feel sorry for the plumber

~ take a dump
~ drop a depth charge
~ get a load off my mind (where do you keep your brain?)
~ do my bit for the environment (note: I didn't say it would be beneficial!)
~ I may be some time...
or occasionally
~ I need the loo