Conquer Club

Inspired by some comments about "Catcher In The Rye" in the "books" thread - this thread is for all those films/books and anything else that's generally or popularly regarded as a masterpiece, that you can't stand.

I've got a long list of these, but just to start with, I'll mention:

"Citizen Kane" - overlong, and the main character is difficult to give much of a toss about.

"Schindler's List" - mawkishly sentimental, one of Spielberg's worst, which is saying something.

"La Vita e Bella" - absolute drivel, and seems like Holocaust denial in the second part of the film.

"Lost In Translation" - Again, two characters I couldn't give a toss about, especially not the young girl. Uses Japanese people as an "alienation" device. Pretentious twaddle.

Maybe I should have put this in the Flame Wars, but never mind.

Well, I'm sure I'll think of a lot more, but just off the top of my head:

Godfather, Part II
The Sun Also Rises
Heart of Darkness (hahaha, no seriously, who doesn't?)
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Dr. Strangelove or How I learned to bore myself to tears
AU HASARD BALTASAR (maybe the worst of all)

EDIT:

Oh, and La Dolce Vita---gag.

A lot of people really like The Untouchables, but I think it's a crock of shit. One of the very few good parts of the film is the shoot-out at the train station at the end (you know, with the baby in the pram rolling down the stairs) and it's an almost direct rip off of a Russian film, Battleship Potempkin. Baby and all. And, more than that, it's got Kevin Costner in it.

I kinda agree about Citizen Kane and Lost in Translation though I like both of them. I went through a period where I watched Schindler's List about 3 times a day, and I still really like it. Life is Beautiful is a beautiful film.

oh, I love Dr Strangelove, one of my all time classics

Genghis Khant wrote:A lot of people really like The Untouchables, but I think it's a crock of shit. One of the very few good parts of the film is the shoot-out at the train station at the end (you know, with the baby in the pram rolling down the stairs) and it's an almost direct rip off of a Russian film, Battleship Potemkin. Baby and all. And, more than that, it's got Kevin Costner in it.

I'd be annoyed about that rip-off too, except that Battleship Potemkin is another classic I hate. I mean come on, you think something's going to happen in the last 15 minutes, and then it finishes abruptly. And that close-up of the old woman with the smashed glasses made me laugh.

btownmeggy wrote:Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy...

EDIT:

Oh, and La Dolce Vita---gag.

I assume you mean the Hitchhiker's Guide on radio, book or TV, and not the film - because I thought the film was generally poorly received anyway? And if you DID mean the book, then shame on you!

La Dolce Vita probably appeals more to men than women. Yes, the times I have spent womanising, gambling, drinking, and thinking to myself - "Is this all there is to life?" And deciding that yes, that's all there is. Party on!

Stopper wrote:

btownmeggy wrote:Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy...

EDIT:

Oh, and La Dolce Vita---gag.

I assume you mean the Hitchhiker's Guide on radio, book or TV, and not the film - because I thought the film was generally poorly received anyway? And if you DID mean the book, then shame on you!

La Dolce Vita probably appeals more to men than women. Yes, the times I have spent womanising, gambling, drinking, and thinking to myself - "Is this all there is to life?" And deciding that yes, that's all there is. Party on!

I never watched the movie. I borrowed all of the books from the library. I kept going on to the next one after being disappointed by the previous ones because I thought, "All of my nerd-friends love these books. There must be something redeeming in them." There wasn't. They were a waste of the precious little time I have left in my life.

I really like Heart of Darkness...

As for hate, never really got Dickens. Or any of the Bronte's.

Would have said Shakespeare here as well but I re-read King Lear last year (hadn't done it since school), and it's re-kindled by interest.

The Bible?

Guiscard wrote:The Bible?

Have to agree, totally unrealistic, gratuitously violent, and with a ridiculous plot-twist after an important crucifixion scene in the second part.

I don't have any, but I find alot of my friends really don't like Pulp Fiction.
Which boggles my mind.

That said, I do appreciate the rather useful theistic history of the Old Testement in regards to Assyria and Babylon, something I'm studying at the moment. Contrast the constant reliance on God as the source of victory / defeat with the ridiculous exaggeration of Assyrian or Babylonian texts and you get a somewhat believable description of the actual history!

Stopper wrote:

Guiscard wrote:The Bible?

Have to agree, totally unrealistic, gratuitously violent, and with a ridiculous plot-twist after an important crucifixion scene in the second part.

No way man! It’s got a plot twist to rival "The Usual Suspects".
Is he a man? No, he's the son of God...no wait - he actually was God all along! Whoa! Never saw that one coming I'll tell you!

P.S. I loved "Hearts of Darkness" by Joseph Conrad - but maybe 'cause I also love Apocalypse Now...
And I really liked Lost in Translation as well, I seen it in a cinema by myself (and I mean the only person there) when I was working away from home and it touched a cord. Plus I love Bill Murray and Scarlett Johannson (but in entirely different ways!)

P.P.S. Over rated classics? Charles Dickens & Oscar Wilde. Call me a philistine if you must.

Backwards - I am the only person I know (yes I know me) who liked Syriana.

I hated to kill a mockingbird.

Heart of Darkness was alright. J.C. was at least a good writer.

Their eyes were watching god ---- I hate this book because of the uneducated black portrail and it is retarded.


As far as the bible goes, I consider it one of my favorites. Classic that never gets old

Movies that blew:

Crybaby

Blair Witch Project

All Austin Powers movies

The Grudge

The Robin Williams Heaven movie (forget the name)

Most sequels

jay_a2j wrote:Movies that blew:

Crybaby

Blair Witch Project

All Austin Powers movies

The Grudge

The Robin Williams Heaven movie (forget the name)

Most sequels

What Dreams May Come

...but I don't know if any of these are "classics". In fact, I think they're all just bad movies.

jay_a2j wrote:Movies that blew:

Blair Witch Project

All Austin Powers movies

The Grudge

The Robin Williams Heaven movie (forget the name) "What Dreams May Come"?

Most sequels

You know, for once, I wholeheartedly agree with you jay. The Williams movie (which was horrifically oversentimental) I disliked has nothing to do with my being atheist - I like Pasolini's The Gospel..., after all. Also, I won't ask you which Grudge movie you mean either, because I've only seen the original Japanese one, and that was shite, and since I don't usually like horror movies, I've no reason to assume the other 5 weren't crap too.

flashleg8 wrote:P.S. I loved "Hearts of Darkness" by Joseph Conrad - but maybe 'cause I also love Apocalypse Now...
And I really liked Lost in Translation as well, I seen it in a cinema by myself (and I mean the only person there) when I was working away from home and it touched a cord. Plus I love Bill Murray and Scarlett Johannson (but in entirely different ways!)

P.P.S. Over rated classics? Charles Dickens & Oscar Wilde. Call me a philistine if you must.

I also liked heart of darkness and Lost in Translation, but don't diss Wilde... he roXors.

em, lets see,
JG Ballard- Empire of the Sun is awful trash.
Kate Chopin- Awakening.
Chinua Achebe- Things Fall Apart

... all terrible books, well things fall apart isn't so bad, but definately overrated.

Little Miss Sunshine is also overrated, I mean I don't hate the film, it's got some good parts, but it's not as smart as it pretends to be.

They're the first two that spring to mind.

Funny what jay classes as classics...

qeee1 wrote:em, lets see,
JG Ballard- Empire of the Sun is awful trash.
Kate Chopin- Awakening.
Chinua Achebe- Things Fall Apart

... all terrible books, well things fall apart isn't so bad, but definately overrated.

Nooo, I love that book (and the film adaptation).

Classic films I hate:
Every John Wayne flick, my dad watched those constantly and I'm tired of them.

ffolkes, same deal.

The later Pink Panther movies, when Peter Sellers was doing them just for the money.

Son of Pink Panther, I hate Roberto Benigni in Italian and in English.

Kevin Costner's Robin Hood, what a shitfest.

Books I hate:

Centennial, ugh.

A Tale of Two Cities, I couldn't read past page 3 it was that boring.

Anything by Earnest Hemingway, his stories are good, his imagery is fantastic, but his writing style makes me want to claw out my eyes.

Michelle Remembers, does she? does she really?

I hated E.T. and The Godfather.

Here's a bit of a twist to this topic; a film which most people hate, because it is crap, but which I love is The Postman. A film so rubbish, so buttock clenchingly piss poor, that it transcends all its intended seriousness and becomes a comedy.

It's possibly the worst film I've ever seen, and the first 50 minutes or so is a total waste of time. Fast forward it till the bit where a man gets eaten by a lion, that's my advice.

The acting really sucks. If Keanu Reeves was in this movie he'd steal the show. Top Petty is in it for christ's sake, "You're the postman? I've heard of you. Man, you're famous." The plot and the script are terrible and the premise - Kevin Costner rebuilds the United States from its post apocalyptic ashes by delivering letters - is totally absurd. It had a huge budget, millions of dollars, filmed with armies of extras (some of them in lead roles ), impressive panoramic helicopter shots, explosions, pitched battles, hundreds of horses, a true epic. It's over the top, it's Hollywood turned up to 11. It's so bad, and yet it's so good.

Cheesier than a ripe camembert, there's just one question you have to ask yourself, "how many letters can a dead postman deliver?"

I've always been a fan of Plan Nine From Outer Space, with Bela Lagosi (most likely spelled wrong) and Vampira I belive was in it to. It was directed by Ed Wood, and it's about aliens that make zombies. It's awsome, with the cops sratching there heads with there guns, and Bela died half way through so they replaced him with someone else, and he had to walk around covering his face with his cap. I love it. A must see just because it's so bad.

btownmeggy wrote:
What Dreams May Come

Thank-you. I couldn't remember the title but that's it.