Brannigan-isms---or at least, Futurama-isms

[AndyDufresne]

Zapp Brannigan is known to be an intergalactic stud, and generally wise human being. Maybe. Here is a topic for Brannigan-isms, or at least, Futurama nuggets of wisdom.



=============================================

Captain Zapp Brannigan: In the game of chess you can never let your adversary see your pieces.


--Andy

[Timminz]

If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.

She's built like a steakhouse, but handles like a bistro.

[AndyDufresne]

Captain Zapp Brannigan: Rock breaks scissors. But paper covers rock, and scissors cut paper! Kiff, we have a conundrum.
...
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Search them for paper... and bring me a rock.


--Andy

[The Bison King]

If we hit that bull's eye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.

[The Bison King]

Oh... shit, f*ck you Timminz!

[The Bison King]

In the game of chess, you can never let your adversary see your pieces

[Timminz]

In the game of chess, you can never let your adversary see your pieces

Captain Zapp Brannigan: In the game of chess you can never let your adversary see your pieces.

You're not very good at this.

[Sackett58]

Captain Zapp Brannigan: Kif, I'm feeling the Captain's Itch.

[naxus]

Captain Zapp Brannigan: Men, you're lucky men. Soon, you'll all be fighting for your planet. many of you will be dying for your planet. A few of you will be put through a fine mesh screen for your planet. They will be the luckiest of all.

[Victor Sullivan]

Zapp Brannigan: Good, good. But should she ever institute some sort of bare-bottom spanking policy let me go in your place. I won't have my comrades harmed.

[Army of GOD]

In the game of chess, you can never let your adversary see your pieces

[KidWhisky]

Zapp: Kif have the boy lay out my cloths
Kif: The boy sir?
Zapp: You..You lay out my cloths

[safariguy5]

Private Lee Lemon may very well be the finest recruit I've seen in all my years of service. That young man fills me with hope. And some other emotions that are wierd and deeply confusing me.

[KoolBak]

[AndyDufresne]

Fry: Well, thanks to the Internet, I'm now bored with sex.


--Andy

[khazalid]

brannigan's law is like brannigan's love: hard and fast!

[KoolBak]

Bender: Dying sucks butt. How do you living beings cope with mortality?
Leela: Violent outbursts.
Amy: General slutiness.
Fry: Thanks to denial, I'm immortal.
Bender: Anything less than immortality is a complete waste of time!

*this is fun!*

[keiths31]

Zapp: I have a sexual learning dissability. What do we call it Kiff?
Kiff: (tired voice) Sexlexia....

[safariguy5]

Zoirby wanna buy on margin!

[TA1LGUNN3R]

Brannigan-isms

Brannigan (on dating advice)- Here's my personal book of pick-up lines. Say as many of them as you can as fast as you can. Don't stop for any reason.

Brannigan- You know, boys, a good captain needs many skills, such as boldness, daring, and a velour uniform...and I'm not convinced Leela has any of those things.

Brannigan- One day a man has everything...and the next day he blows up a $400 billion space station... and the next day he has nothing...It makes you think
Kiff- No it doesn't

Brannigan- What makes a man turn Neutral?
Lust for gold?
Power?
Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?

Brannigan- I hate these filthy neutrals, Kiff. With enemies you know where they stand, but these Neutrals...who knows? It sickens me.
Kiff- Ugh

Brannigan- Here's to us schmoes working for the man. Even if he is a hot, sexy, female man.

Zapp- There's only one surefire way back into a woman's heart and parts beyond. I speak of course, of karaoke.

Zapp (after snu-snu)- We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.

Futurama-isms

Leela- What are we delivering?
Farnsworth- Something without which no ribbon-cutting ceremony could proceed--the ceremonial oversized scissors.
Leela- We'll get them there as quickly as we can.
Farnsworth- All right, but don't run with them.

Femputer- Femputer sentences them to death...
Everyone- (gasp!)
Femputer- By snu-snu!
Fry and Zapp- Yeah!!
Kiff- (whimpers)
Zapp- What are you, gay?

Also I love the painting of Zapp in his quarters....

[AndyDufresne]

Fry: So you have to choose between life without sex and a hideous, gruesome death?
Dr. Zoidberg: Yes.
Fry: Man, tough call


--Andy

[safariguy5]

Brannigan-isms

Brannigan (on dating advice)- Here's my personal book of pick-up lines. Say as many of them as you can as fast as you can. Don't stop for any reason.

Brannigan- You know, boys, a good captain needs many skills, such as boldness, daring, and a velour uniform...and I'm not convinced Leela has any of those things.

Brannigan- One day a man has everything...and the next day he blows up a $400 billion space station... and the next day he has nothing...It makes you think
Kiff- No it doesn't

Brannigan- What makes a man turn Neutral?
Lust for gold?
Power?
Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?

Brannigan- I hate these filthy neutrals, Kiff. With enemies you know where they stand, but these Neutrals...who knows? It sickens me.
Kiff- Ugh

Brannigan- Here's to us schmoes working for the man. Even if he is a hot, sexy, female man.

Zapp- There's only one surefire way back into a woman's heart and parts beyond. I speak of course, of karaoke.

Zapp (after snu-snu)- We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.

Futurama-isms

Leela- What are we delivering?
Farnsworth- Something without which no ribbon-cutting ceremony could proceed--the ceremonial oversized scissors.
Leela- We'll get them there as quickly as we can.
Farnsworth- All right, but don't run with them.

Femputer- Femputer sentences them to death...
Everyone- (gasp!)
Femputer- By snu-snu!
Fry and Zapp- Yeah!!
Kiff- (whimpers)
Zapp- What are you, gay?

Also I love the painting of Zapp in his quarters....

That's the JFK presidential portrait pose.

"Dr. Zoidberg has twice the skills you do!"
"Sure, he's both a doctor and a butcher"

[TA1LGUNN3R]

That's the JFK presidential portrait pose.

Yes I know that's why I like it.

Futurama-isms

Morbo- Tonight at 11-
DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!

All Hail Hypno-Toad!

[AndyDufresne]

President Nixon: Hello Morbo. How’s the family?
Morbo: Belligerent and numerous.


--Andy

[thegreekdog]

Professor Farnsworth on the phone: Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? [pause] To shreds you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? [pause] To shreds you say.