alex_white101 wrote:stolen from facebook, this is amazing and not as long as it seems.
at least just read the first paragraph its worth it Scottish people go on about how much they hate the English. In return for this tiresome and unreasonable abuse, we pay for them to have access to free eye care and dental check ups, free personal care for the elderly, extra central heating grants and a number of drugs deemed "too costly" for the National Health Service in England and Wales.
We pay for their students to have a free university education and for all their school children to get free meals. We, the English, get none of this. This group is for people who think the Scots should f*ck off and stand on their own two feet.
We don't pay for them. They pay for themselves. They pay taxes too. They have a higher GDP per capita than all of Northern England, the Midlands, Wales and the South West, Wales and Northern Ireland.As hard as it may be to believe today, at one time Scotland was a hive of industry, creativity and hard work. Its great inventors included Alexander Graham Bell (telephone), James Watt (internal combustion engine), Alexander Fleming (penicillin) and John Logie Baird (TV). Do you notice what all these people have in common? That's right, they all died a very, very long time ago. In the years since, the Scotch have transformed themselves into a bunch of knock-kneed, whining, welfare-addicted, heroin-injecting, Trotskyist, bitter, swivel-eyed, cry-baby, spineless, scrounging, ginger bastards. This is the group for English people who believe the end of the union cannot come quickly enough. The time has come to tighten border controls, rebuild Hadrian's Wall, severe all relations and repatriate the Scotch. And they can take that fornicating baboon Gordon Brown with them. It will save us a fortune. Why?
This is just xenophobic and twattish name-calling. Point 1. The Scotch have a well-earned reputation for being tight-arses but this prudence doesn't seem to
apply when they're spending England's cash. Take that monument to vanity and incompetence, the Scottish Parliament, for example. Originally estimated to cost £40 million, when it was finally opened (three years late, of course) it had racked up bills totally £431 million. We will be getting this money back as soon as independence is achieved. At the barrel of a gun if need be.
Do you know how much Westminster is worth? Its a fucking Palace, for Gods sake. How about the Millennium Dome? We wasted much more than 431 million on the Dome. And that was our money too wasn't it? This is a stupid accusation. Scotland has a parliament, and they need a building. spending a lot on public buildings or projects isn't a Scottish problem whatsoever. Do you hate those money-grubbing Londoners for sinking so much into the Olympics? No. Get annoyed at bureaucracy and red tape, but you're on hypocritical ground accusing just the Scots of overspending.Point 2. And what was the first thing the corrupt, nest-feathering, crypto-fascists in the Scottish Assembly did as soon as their white elephant parliament was created? It was, of course, that cornerstone of neo-commie social engineering the smoking ban. Stand outside a pub to have a smoke you say? That'll be nice in Aberdeen in the winter. They were so busy wanking over the idea that they'd beaten the English government (also run by the Scotch) into bringing in this piece of bullshit legislation that they didn't notice that no one was going to bingo halls and boozers anymore and that had just fucked what was
left of their economy. Arseholes.
Crypto-fascists? I thought they were Trotskyists? Make your insulting mind up... They banned smoking? as far as I can see we have too... so f*ck the English too. Again, this is a problem you have with our society as a whole, not the Scottish specifically.Point 3. Anyone stupid enough to want to go to University in England these days can expect to pay tuition fees of about £10,000. Anyone going to a Scottish University will pay tuition fees of £0. That's because the bowlegged, haggis-guzzling wankers get the English taxpayer to pay them instead. Nice one!
And you know what? Scottish universities are beginning to notice that they are suffering on the research front compared to their English counterparts because they are tied to the Government's purse. In England there'smore money going into unis than ever before, which can only be a good thing. If we didn't have to pay and the Scots did you'd have been moaning all the same.Point 4. Alex Salmond is, by any standards, a cunt. I don't think this is open to debate. Similarly, Gordon Brown is an autistic, English-hating, interfering, Bolshevik chicken-strangler. Together they can rule the freezing wastelands of Scotland from the HIV capital of Europe they call Edinburgh and drag the Scotch into a new dark age. In every pound spent in Scotland, 55p is spent by the state. They are therefore already more than half way to becoming a totalitarian command economy. The grim, granite-faced, Gulag-loving, pig-fucking twinning of Salmond and Brown should be enough to complete the switch. An independence Scotland will make 1970s Albania look like Monte Carlo.
This is so full of bollocks it doesn't even make sense. Point 5. Every year Rangers and Celtic get understandably bored of playing each other in front of
knuckle-headed, sectarian throwbacks although probably not as bored as the fans get having to watch the pathetic spectacle of pale, ginger men falling over in the mud. The clubs then beg the English football league to allow them to play in this country. After independance they will be allowed - for a laugh - to play in the Rymans League (South) where they will become involved in an annual battle against relegation. Because that's how shit Scottish football is.
If you've got football as one of the key arguments for the dissolution of the union then you've got to be on shaky ground. Nice one. 
Point 6. Traditional opposition to independence has always hinged on the issue of North Sea Oil. England doesn't want to lose this rich source of wealth but there is a simple solution. We will keep it and the Scottish can suck our fucking balls. Any Scottish personnel found on the oilrigs will be thrown overboard. BP will be renamed EP (English Petroleum) and if the Scotch want it they can fight us for it. Since Scottish warfare consists entirely of showing their hairy arses to the enemy and trying to glass people they would be unwise to start on a nation which has Trident nuclear weapons and the best army in the world (admittedly with a large Scottish contingent or, as I prefer to call it, the cannon fodder).
This is so far from a point I can't see it with binoculars. Jealous at all?Not only will we keep the oil we will keep a number of lucky Scotch who will be saved - Schindlers List style - from the Soviet nightmare that will unravel to the North. These will include the man who booted that terrorist in the knackers at Glasgow airport, Kirsty Wark, Ken Bruce, Robert Carlysle, Irvine Welsh and possibly Primal Scream. We will be repatriating John Leslie, Billy Connolly, Travis, Edith Bowman, Snow Patrol, Robert Burns and his shit poems, the Proclaimers, mad tramps, incoherent street drinkers, aggressive beggars, Davina MacColl, Patrick Kielty and Diane Abbot. The last three are not openly Scottish (and indeed may well not be Scottish at all) but they form the first wave for phase 2 of independence. In this phase, Scotland will become an international dumping ground for twats, spastics and talentless, half-witted wannabes of all colours and creeds.
I thought they didn't have any great personalities any more?I commend this motion to the house.
And they'll tell you to f*ck right off. 
it was clearly ridiculous and u didnt realise that? 
