Best Joke Teller on CC?

[Fircoal]

A couple are sitting around their appartment very bored and they want to try something new.

The guy says, "How about I stick various items up your pooper and you guess what they are?"

She willingly agrees.

He leaves the room and comes back with a baseball bat.

He sticks it up her butt and then asks her to guess what it is.

She replies, "It's long and slim and gets bigger the further it goes in. It's a baseball bat."

He says, "Wow, that's impressive."

EWdDetermined to really stump her, he goes for a water melon.

He comes back and sticks it up her butt and says guess what this is with a big smile of confidence.

She replies, "It's very wide and squashy and has an uneven shape about it. It's a water melon."

He is amazed and tells her she's right yet again.

Determined more then ever, he goes into the bathroom and grabs the thing that clears the toilette when it overflows.


Damn, that ruins the whole joke if I can't remember what it's called. I'll get back you on that.

I don't get it... or that whole falling for it part earlier.

He needs to know the last thing he dewcribed in order to finish the joke.

I still don't get it. >_>

It's not that hard to understand
Just tell him what's the name of that object, cause I don't know the english word either since Im a Dutcie

But I don't know what it is....

Edit: *looks at Exiles post* Plunger? I thought he was talking about that thing with bristels to clean the toilet. I'm clearly a moron. >_<

[gdeangel]

Edit: *looks at Exiles post* Plunger? I thought he was talking about that thing with bristels to clean the toilet. I'm clearly a moron. >_<

Well, I see Exile's played that game before. Apparently Fircoal you aren't as ticklish if you played with the bristely scrub brush...

[gdeangel]

Now down to business...

A man, a dog and a sheep drift on to a desert island after being involved in a shipwreck.

This island has everything the man wants; fresh water, fruit, etc. But in a couple of week the man starts wanting a shag, so he looks at this dog and thinks to himself "No way". He looks at this sheep and thinks "Ok then." So he walks up to this sheep, takes his pants down, but the dog runs up and starts barking and the sheep runs away.

The next day he's up a tree looking around and sees the sheep but no dog. So man climbs down from the tree, goes up to this sheep, takes his pants down, gets it out. But the dog runs up and starts barking again and the sheep runs away.

So the next day he is up a tree again. Sees another ship wreck and there is this absolutly geogous woman floating amid the wreckage. So he goes out and saves this gorgeous woman and brings her back to his camp.

This woman gets down on her knees and says "oh thank you! To repay you I will do anything you ask of me, anything!"

So the man thinks for a moment and says "Well, could you take this dog for a walk please... because I really want to shag this sheep".

[fireedud]

I must be more of a moron than fircoal (now that's saying something): I still don't get the joke.

[Fircoal]

I must be more of a moron than fircoal (now that's saying something): I still don't get the joke.

1) HEY! I'm not a moron!!!!

2) No firee, I still don't get it either.

[muy_thaiguy]

I must be more of a moron than fircoal (now that's saying something): I still don't get the joke.

1) HEY! I'm not a moron!!!!

2) No firee, I still don't get it either.

I'm not sure if I should or from this.

[jnd94]

An American, an Italian and a Chinese man get shipwrecked on an island. Naturally, the American takes charge. He says "Italian man, go find food. I'll make us a shelter. Chinese man, go get some supplies." The day wears on, and by the end, a great shelter is built, and food is roasting over a fire. The American and Italian notice that the Chinese isn't iwth them, so they go out looking for him. They see a rustle in the bushes as they walk by, and when they look into the bush, the Chinese man jumps out and yells "SUPPLIES!!!"

[wcaclimbing]

An American, an Italian and a Chinese man get shipwrecked on an island. Naturally, the American takes charge. He says "Italian man, go find food. I'll make us a shelter. Chinese man, go get some supplies." The day wears on, and by the end, a great shelter is built, and food is roasting over a fire. The American and Italian notice that the Chinese isn't iwth them, so they go out looking for him. They see a rustle in the bushes as they walk by, and when they look into the bush, the Chinese man jumps out and yells "SUPPLIES!!!"

[demon7896]

An American, an Italian and a Chinese man get shipwrecked on an island. Naturally, the American takes charge. He says "Italian man, go find food. I'll make us a shelter. Chinese man, go get some supplies." The day wears on, and by the end, a great shelter is built, and food is roasting over a fire. The American and Italian notice that the Chinese isn't iwth them, so they go out looking for him. They see a rustle in the bushes as they walk by, and when they look into the bush, the Chinese man jumps out and yells "SUPPLIES!!!"

IM CHINESE YOU IDIOT.

[The1exile]

IM CHINESE YOU IDIOT.

congratulations.

[gdeangel]

A westerner walks into a Chinese Restaurant and says to the waiter, "I'll have the flied lice."

The Chinese waiter resonds, "It's Fried Rice you git."

[jonesthecurl]

How do you prevent Jay-2-jay from drowning?

Take your foot off his head.

BTW, thanks for moving jay's joke on.

[tzor]

Just remembered this running joke from replyting to another thread.

I love to go to exotic places for vacations.
A few years ago I took a cruise to the Canary Islands
I was so disapointed ... There was not a single canary on the island.
Who knew?





So anyway the next year I decided to go to the Virgin Islands
Again I was really dissapointed















There was not a single canary on those islands either.
Who knew?

[kagetora]

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants.

The bartender asks him why.

And the pirate replies,

"Arr! It's driving me nuts!"

[gdeangel]

Gosh, no new material in over a week. Here's one I saw the other day, which you can take any way you like on Mr. Bush:

President Bush stops by a local bar one night, having slipped away from his entourage, and seats himself at a stool in the corner and starts up some conversation with the barman. A bit later, a guy walks in and asks the barman, 'Isn't that Bush sitting at the end of the bar?' The bartender says, 'Yep , that's him.' So the guy walks over and says, 'Wow, this is a real honor! What are you doing in here?'

Bush says, ' I'm planning WW III.'

The guy says, 'Really? What's going to happen?'

Bush says, 'Well, I'm going to kill 140 million Muslims and one blonde with big tits.

The guy exclaimed, 'A blonde with big tits? Why kill a blonde with big tits?'

Bush turns to the bartender and says, 'See, I told you, no one gives a shit about the 140 million Muslims'.

[Joodoo]

Not very funny, but still humorous...
A panda walks into a bar and orders a sandwich and a beer. He eats the sandwich and drinks the beer, and then pulls out a gun and shoots everyone in the bar.
As he walked out of the bar the bartender asks him, "Why did you do it?" The panda responds, "Look in the dictionary."
Later when the bartender does indeed look it up, the definition reads. Panda- Eats, shoots, and leaves.

[pimpdave]

What's the definition of an engineer?

Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you can't understand.


How do you drive an engineer mad?

Force him to watch you refold a map incorrectly.

[jonesthecurl]

Did you hear about the gay knight who loved to read?
He kept turning over the pages.

But it was OK because the King was hard of hearing and he got a royal "pardon".

[jonesthecurl]

Then there was the hospital porter who ended up in court for shagging a dead woman.
His defence was "the doctor said "a cadaver"!"

[suggs]

My blonde friend just txt me and asked me what IDK stands for. So I told her I don't know. she said OMG nobody does

Be honest Apey -that wasnt your most embarrassing moment. And changing it aorund, pshhh, pshhh

[derivative133]

A skeleton walks into a bar, and orders a beer and a mop!

What do pink floyd and Dale Earnhardt have in common??





Their last big hit was the wall.

[jonesthecurl]

A skeleton walks into a bar, and orders a beer and a mop!

Then he goes home and bones his girlfriend

[derivative133]

Why do Scottish men screw sheep on the edge of a cliff?
















They push back harder..
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?


















So the sheep don't hear the zipper!!

[william18]

Why is micheal jackson and Santa the same?



They both leave little boy's rooms with empty sacs.

[derivative133]

Two sheep herders are flying the herd to a new farm. Suddenly, the
engine fails and
the plane begins to fall quickly to the ground.
SH1: Quick! Grab a parachute and jump!

SH2: What about the sheep ?!?

SH1: Fuch the sheep !!!!

SH2: (pause) Do you think we have time?