I just lost my virginity.

[0ojakeo0]

Strange coincidence, i had very special evening as well:

I was heading home and i see this girl sneaking into some house through a window. Weird i think, but think none of it. Anyways, i get home and turn on the PC to play some CC and I get an IM from some chick. We chat and after while I find out she was the chick that went into the window. We keep chatting and and she says that her lame boyfriend abandoned her to go see some gay action flick. Long story short, I convince her to let me come over as i promise her some real action.

I knock on the window and she lets me in. We start fooling around but then we hear her lame boyfriend stumble in. So i hide in the closet and discover the guy's rather large collection of Victoria's Secret catalogs. The boyfriend seems to be pretty high on pot, so i don't really need to be careful about him not hearing me. In the meantime, the girl thinks of an easy way of getting rid of him knowing that he's too immature to have any condoms laying around. So he heads off to some some night store while i'll go back to the chick. The girl is already warmed up (thanks to pot-head) so i got no prep work to do. We do the deed for about an hour knowing that guy is too stone to make the trek to 7-11 and back in 20 minutes. Even then, I leave after we have another go at it. I go outside and see the guy pass-out on the front yard with a Taquito in his mouth and few condoms next to him. He must of lost control coming back since it's roughly 80% downhill. The munchies can be quite dangerous...

I went home and slept like a baby.

[Frigidus]

i lost my virginity to a bottle of 151 and a drunken uncle......not so funny now eh?

Nope, still funny.

[Frigidus]

Sorry to bump this old thread, but I figured that this would be a good place to mention this. The most incredible thing just happened to me. So I met this girl who worked at Starbucks about two months ago, and I worked up the courage to ask her on a date after a couple of conversations at the register. She was a month older than me but I didn't really care, she was fun to be around. So we took a walk along the beach, and we kissed in the pale moonlight, a full moon, it was really romantic. We started really getting into it, and she slowly unzipped my jeans, she reaches inside and starts kissing her way down my chest, she finally gets all the way down, looks up at me with the most seductive eyes I've ever seen and says "No thanks, I had Reese's for breakfast" and I'm like "No way, you had candy for breakfast?" She replies, "Not candy! Reese's puffs cereal!" So she sliiiiides me a bowl. I crunch into it and WHAM! My mouth goes crazy! That smooth combo of peanut butter and chocolate-y taste attacking my taste buds! She zips my pants back up and says "And it's part of this complete breakfast!"

[Dapper Tom]

I choose to interpret that tale as being full of metaphor and allegory.




It's the only way I could make it worth wanking to.

[El Capitan X]

Sorry to bump this old thread, but I figured that this would be a good place to mention this. The most incredible thing just happened to me. So I met this girl who worked at Starbucks about two months ago, and I worked up the courage to ask her on a date after a couple of conversations at the register. She was a month older than me but I didn't really care, she was fun to be around. So we took a walk along the beach, and we kissed in the pale moonlight, a full moon, it was really romantic. We started really getting into it, and she slowly unzipped my jeans, she reaches inside and starts kissing her way down my chest, she finally gets all the way down, looks up at me with the most seductive eyes I've ever seen and says "No thanks, I had Reese's for breakfast" and I'm like "No way, you had candy for breakfast?" She replies, "Not candy! Reese's puffs cereal!" So she sliiiiides me a bowl. I crunch into it and WHAM! My mouth goes crazy! That smooth combo of peanut butter and chocolate-y taste attacking my taste buds! She zips my pants back up and says "And it's part of this complete breakfast!"

Nice. But I'm afraid you forgot to mention your sources...

http://thev0id.com/showthread.php?t=11442


ECX

[JACKAZZTJM]

Sorry to bump this old thread, but I figured that this would be a good place to mention this. The most incredible thing just happened to me. So I met this girl who worked at Starbucks about two months ago, and I worked up the courage to ask her on a date after a couple of conversations at the register. She was a month older than me but I didn't really care, she was fun to be around. So we took a walk along the beach, and we kissed in the pale moonlight, a full moon, it was really romantic. We started really getting into it, and she slowly unzipped my jeans, she reaches inside and starts kissing her way down my chest, she finally gets all the way down, looks up at me with the most seductive eyes I've ever seen and says "No thanks, I had Reese's for breakfast" and I'm like "No way, you had candy for breakfast?" She replies, "Not candy! Reese's puffs cereal!" So she sliiiiides me a bowl. I crunch into it and WHAM! My mouth goes crazy! That smooth combo of peanut butter and chocolate-y taste attacking my taste buds! She zips my pants back up and says "And it's part of this complete breakfast!"

Nice. But I'm afraid you forgot to mention your sources...

http://thev0id.com/showthread.php?t=11442


ECX

DAMMMMMMMMMMMM

[Minister Masket]

I choose to interpret that tale as being full of metaphor and allegory.

It's the only way I could make it worth wanking to.

Do you have any days when you're not "dapper"?

[Dancing Mustard]

I can assure you that he does.

[Frigidus]

Sorry to bump this old thread, but I figured that this would be a good place to mention this. The most incredible thing just happened to me. So I met this girl who worked at Starbucks about two months ago, and I worked up the courage to ask her on a date after a couple of conversations at the register. She was a month older than me but I didn't really care, she was fun to be around. So we took a walk along the beach, and we kissed in the pale moonlight, a full moon, it was really romantic. We started really getting into it, and she slowly unzipped my jeans, she reaches inside and starts kissing her way down my chest, she finally gets all the way down, looks up at me with the most seductive eyes I've ever seen and says "No thanks, I had Reese's for breakfast" and I'm like "No way, you had candy for breakfast?" She replies, "Not candy! Reese's puffs cereal!" So she sliiiiides me a bowl. I crunch into it and WHAM! My mouth goes crazy! That smooth combo of peanut butter and chocolate-y taste attacking my taste buds! She zips my pants back up and says "And it's part of this complete breakfast!"

Nice. But I'm afraid you forgot to mention your sources...

http://thev0id.com/showthread.php?t=11442


ECX

DAMMMMMMMMMMMM

Yes, it is copy pasta. Want moar? I had to post it, as it was hilarious.

Link: http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Copypasta/Archive_2#Reese.27s_Puffs

[RjBeals]

Forget all this nonsense at the end.. The first post in this thread was great, then the follow up about the dude leaving and seeing the kid passed out on the front yard was ace also! Classics.