Saxi's Alternate Dispute Resolution Forum

[notyou2]

Accuser: notyou2
Accused: Metsfanmax
Adjudicator: saxitoxin
Request: issue a higher mark

Metsfanmax gave me a low grade in this thread http://www.conquerclub.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=186741#p4080794. I believe I deserve a higher grade than the one issued. I agree that the thread is not particularly funny, but I believe it was a concept never done before. Namely, I took an "official" post from the General Discussion forum concerning Lag Reports and converted it to something else entirely. I feel I should at least get a 5 for effort and the novelty of the concept.

Here is the link to Lack Attacks original post http://www.conquerclub.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=143021#p3114301.

[xeno]

Max is angry at life for his two inch penis. He comes to cc to take out his rage on everyone here, ignore the little baby

[notyou2]

Max is angry at life for his two inch penis. He comes to cc to take out his rage on everyone here, ignore the little baby

Oh, that's why. I thought he was angry at The Mets.

[Metsfanmax]

Accuser: notyou2
Accused: Metsfanmax
Adjudicator: saxitoxin
Request: issue a higher mark

Metsfanmax gave me a low grade in this thread http://www.conquerclub.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=186741#p4080794. I believe I deserve a higher grade than the one issued. I agree that the thread is not particularly funny, but I believe it was a concept never done before. Namely, I took an "official" post from the General Discussion forum concerning Lag Reports and converted it to something else entirely. I feel I should at least get a 5 for effort and the novelty of the concept.

Here is the link to Lack Attacks original post http://www.conquerclub.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=143021#p3114301.

Request denied. My rating was accurate.

[kentington]

Accuser: notyou2
Accused: Metsfanmax
Adjudicator: saxitoxin
Request: issue a higher mark

Metsfanmax gave me a low grade in this thread http://www.conquerclub.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=186741#p4080794. I believe I deserve a higher grade than the one issued. I agree that the thread is not particularly funny, but I believe it was a concept never done before. Namely, I took an "official" post from the General Discussion forum concerning Lag Reports and converted it to something else entirely. I feel I should at least get a 5 for effort and the novelty of the concept.

Here is the link to Lack Attacks original post http://www.conquerclub.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=143021#p3114301.

I am glad you brought this up here.
In defense of a higher rating:
1. If you view my post and the second post in the original thread, then you can tell that smart people understand the quality of this thread.
2. He is posting a request in your thread giving you authority over him and his thread. He is now one of your people and as such you want him to be viewed highly, as a representative of you.
3. While it may not be The funniest thread, it was clever.
4. I would rate it at least 5/10

Disclaimer: My posting in this thread is not in any way relinquishing my authority to you. I am only posting on behalf of one of those who has given you that authority over them.

[xeno]

Haters gonna hate is fairly appropriate here

[saxitoxin]

Accuser: notyou2
Accused: Metsfanmax
Adjudicator: saxitoxin
Request: issue a higher mark

Metsfanmax gave me a low grade in this thread http://www.conquerclub.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=186741#p4080794. I believe I deserve a higher grade than the one issued. I agree that the thread is not particularly funny, but I believe it was a concept never done before. Namely, I took an "official" post from the General Discussion forum concerning Lag Reports and converted it to something else entirely. I feel I should at least get a 5 for effort and the novelty of the concept.

Here is the link to Lack Attacks original post http://www.conquerclub.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=143021#p3114301.

The Adjudicator has only been to General Discussion twice (except for his first six months on Conquer Club when he wasn't aware there was an Off-Topics forum and posted exclusively in General Discussion for six months leading to a series of bans) so is not qualified to rule on the accuracy of the grade of Metsfanmax.

Case reassigned to Substitute ADA nietzsche.

Signed in My Hand,
SAXI!
ADA

[saxitoxin]

Max is angry at life for his two inch penis. He comes to cc to take out his rage on everyone here, ignore the little baby

The Adjudicator conducted a search of the Conquer Club forum using the boolean search query "Metsfanmax" + "Penis" and discovered Mets' penis is actually significantly larger than two-inches (viewtopic.php?f=8&t=181369&p=3959353&hilit=penis#p3959353).

Judgment is for Metsfanmax. Xeno must now pay two compliments to him (on his wall).

Signed in My Hand,
SAXI!
ADA

[saxitoxin]

Max is angry at life for his two inch penis. He comes to cc to take out his rage on everyone here, ignore the little baby

Oh, that's why. I thought he was angry at The Mets.

This is not a properly formatted complaint. Dismissed.

Signed in My Hand,
SAXI!
ADA

[saxitoxin]

Accuser: notyou2
Accused: Metsfanmax
Adjudicator: saxitoxin
Request: issue a higher mark

Metsfanmax gave me a low grade in this thread http://www.conquerclub.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=186741#p4080794. I believe I deserve a higher grade than the one issued. I agree that the thread is not particularly funny, but I believe it was a concept never done before. Namely, I took an "official" post from the General Discussion forum concerning Lag Reports and converted it to something else entirely. I feel I should at least get a 5 for effort and the novelty of the concept.

Here is the link to Lack Attacks original post http://www.conquerclub.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=143021#p3114301.

Request denied. My rating was accurate.

"Request denied. My rating was accurate." is not a properly formatted complaint. Dismissed.

Signed in My Hand,
SAXI!
ADA

[saxitoxin]

Accuser: notyou2
Accused: Metsfanmax
Adjudicator: saxitoxin
Request: issue a higher mark

Metsfanmax gave me a low grade in this thread http://www.conquerclub.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=186741#p4080794. I believe I deserve a higher grade than the one issued. I agree that the thread is not particularly funny, but I believe it was a concept never done before. Namely, I took an "official" post from the General Discussion forum concerning Lag Reports and converted it to something else entirely. I feel I should at least get a 5 for effort and the novelty of the concept.

Here is the link to Lack Attacks original post http://www.conquerclub.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=143021#p3114301.

I am glad you brought this up here.
In defense of a higher rating:
1. If you view my post and the second post in the original thread, then you can tell that smart people understand the quality of this thread.
2. He is posting a request in your thread giving you authority over him and his thread. He is now one of your people and as such you want him to be viewed highly, as a representative of you.
3. While it may not be The funniest thread, it was clever.
4. I would rate it at least 5/10

Disclaimer: My posting in this thread is not in any way relinquishing my authority to you. I am only posting on behalf of one of those who has given you that authority over them.

Attempting to usurp the authority of the Alternate Dispute Resolution Forum is contemptuous. You have been referred to the Valued Mods for further action.

Signed in My Hand,
SAXI!
ADA

[saxitoxin]

Haters gonna hate is fairly appropriate here

"Haters gonna hate is fairly appropriate here" is not a properly formatted complaint. Dismissed.

Signed in My Hand,
SAXI!
ADA

[ManBungalow]

ManBungalow - vs - notyou2
-

Accused: ManBungalow (Dean of the Conquer Club Community College)
Legal team: ManBungalow and thegreekdog

Accuser: notyou2
Legal team: notyou2's lawyer

Accusation: In Game 13400110, on 20th November 2013, at 00:25:01GMT, ManBungalow did cause distress and grievous impediment to notyou2 by causing him to nuke himself.

Exhibit A:
Game 13400110

Exhibit B:

Code: Select all

2013-11-20 00:24:57 - notyou2 received 3 troops for 1 regions
2013-11-20 00:25:01 - notyou2 played a set of Sicily, Central France, and Belorussia nuking each region
2013-11-20 00:25:01 - neutral player eliminated notyou2 from the game

Court record highlights reel thus far:

What Dean ManBungalow failed to disclose is that he applied undue peer pressure to my client to "blow himself up". This act of careless aggression and social subversion is being investigated by the campus police. Furthermore, I have been retained by the estate of the Late Mr notyou2 to investigate the possibility of civil litigation.

Let the jury hear that ManBungalow was unarmed and quite probably fully-clothed at the time in question.

It also appears that Dean ManBungalow profited from the despicable act as prior to my client committing involuntary suicide, the Dean was a colonel. Shortly thereafter Dean ManBungalow was awarded the rank of Brigadier General. This is clearly a case of profiting at the expense of a student and is undeniably a gross abuse of the Dean's power and influence.

If it please the court, I would like to indict Timminz of categorically and consistently encouraging ManBungalow to pressure notyou2 into launching the fateful warhead.

[nietzsche]

Who is the adjudicator?

[ManBungalow]

Adjudicator: Saxitoxin

[thegreekdog]

thegreekdog v. ManBungalow
Accused: ManBungalow
Accuser: thegreekdog
Accusation: Non-payment of legal fees.
Result requested: 500 Saxbucks (legal fees), 2,000 Saxbucks (pain and suffering), 150 Saxbucks (loss of above-referenced game)
Adjudicator: saxitoxin

[Army of GOD]

thegreekdog v. ManBungalow
Accused: ManBungalow
Accuser: thegreekdog
Accusation: Non-payment of legal fees.
Result requested: 500 Saxbucks (legal fees), 2,000 Saxbucks (pain and suffering), 150 Saxbucks (loss of above-referenced game)
Adjudicator: saxitoxin

As thegreekcat's lawyer, I am outraged by ManBoogaloo's actions and demand immediate justice for my client.

[saxitoxin]

The Adjudicator must recuse himself due to a conflict of interest in the ManBungalow and TGD cases.

Army of God is hereby appointed magistrate pro tempore.

[Metsfanmax]

Army of God appointed me temporary adjudicator in this case (private comm.). Award of 2,650 Saxbucks granted to TGD.

[saxitoxin]

Army of God appointed me temporary adjudicator in this case (private comm.). Award of 2,650 Saxbucks granted to TGD.

pillow talk ≠ "appointment"

[BoganGod]

BoganGod v. betiko
Accused: betiko
Accuser: BoganGod
Accusation: Constant unsolicited offers of greek or french congress
Result requested: The accused to stop making unwanted sexual advances. Ideally the accused to transfer unrequited lust to a more suitable and willing player. The adjudicator to find a suitable willing man for the accused.
Adjudicator: saxitoxin

[Army of GOD]

As the army of the aforementioned "BoganGod", I suggest you rule fairly, sexytoxin.

[saxitoxin]

ManBungalow - vs - notyou2

Accused: ManBungalow (Dean of the Conquer Club Community College)
Legal team: ManBungalow and thegreekdog

Accuser: notyou2
Legal team: notyou2's lawyer

Accusation: In Game 13400110, on 20th November 2013, at 00:25:01GMT, ManBungalow did cause distress and grievous impediment to notyou2 by causing him to nuke himself.

Exhibit A:
Game 13400110

Exhibit B:

Code: Select all

2013-11-20 00:24:57 - notyou2 received 3 troops for 1 regions
2013-11-20 00:25:01 - notyou2 played a set of Sicily, Central France, and Belorussia nuking each region
2013-11-20 00:25:01 - neutral player eliminated notyou2 from the game

Court record highlights reel thus far:

What Dean ManBungalow failed to disclose is that he applied undue peer pressure to my client to "blow himself up". This act of careless aggression and social subversion is being investigated by the campus police. Furthermore, I have been retained by the estate of the Late Mr notyou2 to investigate the possibility of civil litigation.

Let the jury hear that ManBungalow was unarmed and quite probably fully-clothed at the time in question.

It also appears that Dean ManBungalow profited from the despicable act as prior to my client committing involuntary suicide, the Dean was a colonel. Shortly thereafter Dean ManBungalow was awarded the rank of Brigadier General. This is clearly a case of profiting at the expense of a student and is undeniably a gross abuse of the Dean's power and influence.

If it please the court, I would like to indict Timminz of categorically and consistently encouraging ManBungalow to pressure notyou2 into launching the fateful warhead.

TOO LONG.

Case dismissed.

Signed in My Hand,
SAXI!
ADA

[saxitoxin]

thegreekdog v. ManBungalow
Accused: ManBungalow
Accuser: thegreekdog
Accusation: Non-payment of legal fees.
Result requested: 500 Saxbucks (legal fees), 2,000 Saxbucks (pain and suffering), 150 Saxbucks (loss of above-referenced game)
Adjudicator: saxitoxin

I have considered this case. ManBungalow has withheld just compensation from TGD who needs said compensation to pimp his ride.

Therefore, the requested damages are doubled, to get TGD closer to being able to afford some sweet spinners. ManBungalow owes TGD Sx5300, which has a cash equivalency value of US$0.05.

Signed in My Hand,
SAXI!
ADA

[saxitoxin]

BoganGod v. betiko
Accused: betiko
Accuser: BoganGod
Accusation: Constant unsolicited offers of greek or french congress
Result requested: The accused to stop making unwanted sexual advances. Ideally the accused to transfer unrequited lust to a more suitable and willing player. The adjudicator to find a suitable willing man for the accused.
Adjudicator: saxitoxin

The adjudicator is not a matchmaker. To resolve this situation, betiko will spend 7 minutes in heaven with BoganGod, after which he will cease all unwanted advances.

Signed in My Hand,
SAXI!
ADA