Conquer Club

I'm Seriously losing my touch....

\\OFF-TOPIC// conversations about everything that has nothing to do with Conquer Club.

Moderator: Community Team

Forum rules
Please read the Community Guidelines before posting.

I'm Seriously losing my touch....

Postby Norse on Sun Oct 14, 2007 11:50 am

So I was out last night, with a mate, his bird and her mate, and obviously the norse is getting his groove on....

So all is going to plan, i seem to be heading straight on for a direct hit on my mate's bird's 18 year old mate (lets just call her "Miss x")....when we get back to my mates gaff, we have a few more drinks, and then it is bed time....Miss X goes upstairs to go to sleep, and obviously I follow her up there a few minutes later....I offer to give her one of my "special back-rubs", which like any hetero-sexual lady, she accepts....now my back-rubs, in the past, are sure bets...They have gotten most others to a point of sheer orgasmic pleasure and moistness....all seems to be going well....until, that is, the norse tries to take the bra off.....

For some bizarre reason, she does not seem to like this.....of course, being as persistent as any other tanked-up horny bloke, one attempts to again, and agin....by this point the norse was beginning to get a little frustrated and rejected...so I try to pull the "norses secret weapon"...by uttering the words "dont you trust me?"


Dammit, she said no....left the room, and went to go asleep in another bedroom....

But this wasn't the end...oh no no...cos the norse follows her into this room...and falls asleep beside her....to wake up at 11am the next morning on my own.....all alone.......rejected......

Of course, a few minutes later, I make my excuses and leave....I'm beginning to feel as though my super-sexual appeal is going through a bad time.... :cry: :cry:
b.k. barunt wrote:Snorri's like one of those fufu dogs who get all excited and dance around pissing on themself.

suggs wrote:scared off by all the pervs and wankers already? No? Then let me introduce myself, I'm Mr Pervy Wank.
User avatar
Corporal 1st Class Norse
 
Posts: 4227
Joined: Fri Mar 16, 2007 4:14 pm
Location: Cradled in the arms of Freya.

Postby got tonkaed on Sun Oct 14, 2007 11:58 am

keep your head up champ, i am sure this will never happen again...
User avatar
Cadet got tonkaed
 
Posts: 5034
Joined: Wed Nov 29, 2006 9:01 pm
Location: Detroit

Postby Titanic on Sun Oct 14, 2007 12:04 pm

Had you ever met her before? If not, she might either be shy, or maybe have some dignity by not just fcking someone she barely knows, and who attempts to take her bra of when giving a back rub, or he was tired..

Btw, she rejected you and you followed her again into the room she was sleeping in, and then slept with her. Did you expect her to wait for you to wake up in the morning?
User avatar
Major Titanic
 
Posts: 1558
Joined: Wed Jan 24, 2007 12:58 pm
Location: Northampton, UK

Postby DAZMCFC on Sun Oct 14, 2007 12:08 pm

you were probably too old for her. :lol:
Image
high score:2765
high place:116
User avatar
Major DAZMCFC
 
Posts: 2790
Joined: Mon Aug 07, 2006 2:25 pm
Location: The Pleasant Chaps....

Postby Anarkistsdream on Sun Oct 14, 2007 12:08 pm

Don't listen to Tit, Norse... You go after 'em!

Remember... NO MEANS YES!
virus90 wrote: I think Anarkist is a valuable asset to any game.
User avatar
Cook Anarkistsdream
 
Posts: 7567
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:57 am

Postby firth4eva on Sun Oct 14, 2007 12:09 pm

were you drunk?
proper or just a little tipsy?
User avatar
Captain firth4eva
 
Posts: 6188
Joined: Sat Mar 03, 2007 7:20 am

Postby cena-rules on Sun Oct 14, 2007 12:09 pm

get this in flame wars so we can give it the response it deserves
19:41:22 ‹jakewilliams› I was a pedo
User avatar
Lieutenant cena-rules
 
Posts: 9740
Joined: Sat Apr 28, 2007 2:27 am
Location: Chat

Postby glide on Sun Oct 14, 2007 12:12 pm

Norse: if I was her big brother.....you'd be her little sister by now....take a hint. And besides....you'll find that the swordsman who talks the least about his duels, usually gets invited to many more because of that. :wink:
Gatekeeper, and Proud Member of XI Games
Newt Hunter
User avatar
Captain glide
 
Posts: 1746
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2006 4:13 pm
Location: 7km outside the thriving metropolis of Centreville, New Brunswick!

Postby Anarkistsdream on Sun Oct 14, 2007 12:13 pm

DAZMCFC wrote:you were probably too old for her. :lol:


I didn't want to mention this, but yes... *grin*
virus90 wrote: I think Anarkist is a valuable asset to any game.
User avatar
Cook Anarkistsdream
 
Posts: 7567
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:57 am

Postby DAZMCFC on Sun Oct 14, 2007 12:17 pm

glide wrote:Norse: if I was her big brother.....you'd be her little sister by now....take a hint. And besides....you'll find that the swordsman who talks the least about his duels, usually gets invited to many more because of that. :wink:


if he was a good swordsman, she would of let him roger her. :lol:
Image
high score:2765
high place:116
User avatar
Major DAZMCFC
 
Posts: 2790
Joined: Mon Aug 07, 2006 2:25 pm
Location: The Pleasant Chaps....

Postby Norse on Sun Oct 14, 2007 12:19 pm

Yes, I didnt know her before...Yes, I did expect her to wait for me to wake up, so that I could attempt this again....Yes, I was absoloutley bladdered....No, I dont thnk Im too old for her....Yes, no means yes, at least i hope it does.......Glide, I thought I would share my rejection experiences, so that you can all agree with me that she was either really tired, on her period or a lesbo...
b.k. barunt wrote:Snorri's like one of those fufu dogs who get all excited and dance around pissing on themself.

suggs wrote:scared off by all the pervs and wankers already? No? Then let me introduce myself, I'm Mr Pervy Wank.
User avatar
Corporal 1st Class Norse
 
Posts: 4227
Joined: Fri Mar 16, 2007 4:14 pm
Location: Cradled in the arms of Freya.

Postby hecter on Sun Oct 14, 2007 1:11 pm

Norse, how do I break this to you...

You've lost your touch. I noticed it a little while back, but I didn't want to say anything. I'm sorry buddy...
In heaven... Everything is fine, in heaven... Everything is fine, in heaven... Everything is fine... You got your things, and I've got mine.
Image
User avatar
Private 1st Class hecter
 
Posts: 14632
Joined: Tue Jan 09, 2007 6:27 pm
Location: Tying somebody up on the third floor

Postby Norse on Sun Oct 14, 2007 1:13 pm

....what? for good?

Damn....maybe I should start going after older people, these youngsters today are sooo demanding.
b.k. barunt wrote:Snorri's like one of those fufu dogs who get all excited and dance around pissing on themself.

suggs wrote:scared off by all the pervs and wankers already? No? Then let me introduce myself, I'm Mr Pervy Wank.
User avatar
Corporal 1st Class Norse
 
Posts: 4227
Joined: Fri Mar 16, 2007 4:14 pm
Location: Cradled in the arms of Freya.

Postby ignotus on Sun Oct 14, 2007 1:59 pm

Norse wrote:....what? for good?

Damn....maybe I should start going after older people, these youngsters today are sooo demanding.



Yes they are! Dam those kids! Yesterday I went also out but we watched the game in the bar (Croatia-Israel). We were drinking and the police stopped the car (but I've talked my way out of this trouble). Seems to me that the policeman fell for my charm but the nice girl in the bar didn't. (BTW friend told me today that she had a big nose, but I don't remember).
Try going for those very rich and very old (like... 99!). After they die you can buy yourself all the woman you need...

P.S. Better luck next time! :wink:
User avatar
Lieutenant ignotus
 
Posts: 2766
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 9:34 am
Location: Hanging on to my old avatar.

Postby Hitman079 on Sun Oct 14, 2007 2:01 pm

it's okay norse. this story reminded me of one of joe beever's for some reason.
User avatar
Cook Hitman079
 
Posts: 2986
Joined: Wed Jan 31, 2007 10:43 pm
Location: Tied up in your basement

Postby cena-rules on Sun Oct 14, 2007 3:14 pm

you had a touch?
19:41:22 ‹jakewilliams› I was a pedo
User avatar
Lieutenant cena-rules
 
Posts: 9740
Joined: Sat Apr 28, 2007 2:27 am
Location: Chat

Postby Anarkistsdream on Sun Oct 14, 2007 3:17 pm

Norse wrote:Yes, I didnt know her before...Yes, I did expect her to wait for me to wake up, so that I could attempt this again....Yes, I was absoloutley bladdered....No, I dont thnk Im too old for her....Yes, no means yes, at least i hope it does.......Glide, I thought I would share my rejection experiences, so that you can all agree with me that she was either really tired, on her period or a lesbo...


Well I think we all already assumed that... What woman doesn't like a pissed drunk love-machine chasing her from room to room?

:wink: :wink: :wink:
virus90 wrote: I think Anarkist is a valuable asset to any game.
User avatar
Cook Anarkistsdream
 
Posts: 7567
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:57 am

Postby Dancing Mustard on Sun Oct 14, 2007 7:14 pm

I always find that the best routine to turn a rejection into a conquest is this:

You look the woman straight in the eyes and say,
"Bitch, you can make a choice. I can take this shit, or you can give it to me willingly."
then, hold her gaze until the silence becomes uncomfortable and say this,
"Now help me get out of this fucking latex before it chaffes"

Guaranteed 100% success rate. Try it out sometime.
Wayne wrote:Wow, with a voice like that Dancing Mustard must get all the babes!

Garth wrote:Yeah, I bet he's totally studly and buff.
User avatar
Corporal Dancing Mustard
 
Posts: 5442
Joined: Mon Mar 19, 2007 3:31 pm
Location: Pushing Buttons

Postby radiojake on Sun Oct 14, 2007 9:02 pm

Anarkistsdream wrote:Don't listen to Tit, Norse... You go after 'em!

Remember... NO MEANS YES!


I seriously hope this was an extremely poor and distasteful joke

Either way, you're still a f*ck for even saying it.

And Norse, go cry me a river. 'Wah wah my ultra creepy charms didn't work this time, probably because the girl may have had a brain' - all that you have missed out on is the mental scoreboard in your head ticking over to one more number. What a pity.

Also, i only just noticed you pulled out the lesbian card. OFCOURSE if a girl turns down your advancements (or any other guy for that matter it seems) she MUST be a lesbian right?

retards
-- share what ya got --
User avatar
Sergeant 1st Class radiojake
 
Posts: 678
Joined: Fri Dec 29, 2006 11:29 pm
Location: Adelaidian living in Melbourne

Postby Norse on Mon Oct 15, 2007 2:42 am

radiojake wrote: OFCOURSE if a girl turns down your advancements (or any other guy for that matter it seems) she MUST be a lesbian right?


Absoloutley.

Thanks for the support jake.
b.k. barunt wrote:Snorri's like one of those fufu dogs who get all excited and dance around pissing on themself.

suggs wrote:scared off by all the pervs and wankers already? No? Then let me introduce myself, I'm Mr Pervy Wank.
User avatar
Corporal 1st Class Norse
 
Posts: 4227
Joined: Fri Mar 16, 2007 4:14 pm
Location: Cradled in the arms of Freya.

Postby hulmey on Mon Oct 15, 2007 3:19 am

have you ever thought that your an ugly wanker and that you pull off fat girls with hairy muff's!!
[img]http://img801.imageshack.us/img801/9761/41922610151374166770386.jpg[/mg]
User avatar
Lieutenant hulmey
 
Posts: 3742
Joined: Fri Nov 03, 2006 7:33 am
Location: Las Vegas

Postby Norse on Mon Oct 15, 2007 3:22 am

hulmey wrote:have you ever thought that your an ugly wanker and that you pull off fat girls with hairy muff's!!


Have to say, this never crossed my mind.
b.k. barunt wrote:Snorri's like one of those fufu dogs who get all excited and dance around pissing on themself.

suggs wrote:scared off by all the pervs and wankers already? No? Then let me introduce myself, I'm Mr Pervy Wank.
User avatar
Corporal 1st Class Norse
 
Posts: 4227
Joined: Fri Mar 16, 2007 4:14 pm
Location: Cradled in the arms of Freya.

Postby Skoffin on Mon Oct 15, 2007 5:35 am

She must of been tired, if you had tried that on me I would of punched you in the face. Then demanded you make me a sandwich.
Image
Everything confuses and enrages me! Raaaargh
Join Discord group for multiplayer gaming and general nonsense.
User avatar
Lieutenant Skoffin
 
Posts: 2600
Joined: Mon Jan 01, 2007 7:09 pm
Location: Sydney, Australia

Postby satanspaladin on Mon Oct 15, 2007 6:28 am

Norse wrote:Yes, I didnt know her before...Yes, I did expect her to wait for me to wake up, so that I could attempt this again....Yes, I was absoloutley bladdered....No, I dont thnk Im too old for her....Yes, no means yes, at least i hope it does.......Glide, I thought I would share my rejection experiences, so that you can all agree with me that she was either really tired, on her period or a lesbo...


No Norse if she was a lesbian she would have just died laughing at your
phallus .
Are there many things in this cool-hearted world so utterly exquisite
as the pure love of one woman for another?
User avatar
Sergeant 1st Class satanspaladin
 
Posts: 1223
Joined: Fri Sep 14, 2007 6:08 am
Location: out

Re: I'm Seriously losing my touch....

Postby Guiscard on Mon Oct 15, 2007 6:53 am

Norse wrote:by this point the norse was beginning to get a little frustrated and rejected...so I try to pull the "norses secret weapon"...


I wondered where the story was gonna go at this point... :D
qwert wrote:Can i ask you something?What is porpose for you to open these Political topic in ConquerClub? Why you mix politic with Risk? Why you not open topic like HOT AND SEXY,or something like that.
User avatar
Private 1st Class Guiscard
 
Posts: 4103
Joined: Fri Dec 08, 2006 7:27 pm
Location: In the bar... With my head on the bar

Next

Return to Acceptable Content

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: ConfederateSS