I was out today in the Porsche. It was a nice sunny day, and I thought I`d cruise the mean streets of East London.
At 10am I was driving down a little lane when I saw the blue lights in the mirror, it was Plod, and they were after me.
I stopped the car at the entrance to a warehouse and got out.
The copper got out of his motor and walked up to me.
"You aware sir, you were going 70mph in a 30mph area?" he said
"Yeah, I was, now what about it copper?" I replied
He didn`t know what to say to that, most people would have lied or been compliant, not me, I`m Joe Beevers and I don`t like coppers.
"Well sir, I`m afraid I`ll have to give you a speeding ticket" he said, when he said it he smiled, with pleasure.
I didn`t like it so I said "You like the taste of hospital food pal?"
He turned a bit white with fear, and said "W-w-w-why?"
I said "You don`t know who I am, I know blokes who can pay you a visit at 4am, trust me, you don`t want to mess with me"
He now shook from head to toe, sweat poured down his face, "Oh carry on Sir, sorry to bother you" he said
"Ok sonny, don`t bother grassing me up, I got your number pal, if I get caught further up the road then I`ll know where to send my men" I said
I left him sitting being sick with fear on the pavement, as I drove off at speed.
No copper messes with me...
