Is this good? All 3 parts-page 3

[Nobunaga]

... fireedud, I think it's pretty good. Just one thing, in 1890, would a man be concerned all that much with his kids being reluctant?

... I don't know, I just get the impression that back in those days it would not be a problem. Perhaps a mention that the kids are nervous about it.

... Anyway, I think it's pretty good.

...

[cho a$$ up]

Does it have to be Austria? You can choose a country with
a) war
b) civil unrest
c) great pollution
d) somehow other bad living conditions

Russia? If I remember correctly, it wasn't exactly the best place at the time.

How about a Jew from Germany? They were flocking here like locusts back in the day.

i saw this thing once that said that in germany they barely killed any of their jews.. they just treated them like crap

[Iliad]

Does it have to be Austria? You can choose a country with
a) war
b) civil unrest
c) great pollution
d) somehow other bad living conditions

Russia? If I remember correctly, it wasn't exactly the best place at the time.

Hey! Wait when is this?

[Napoleon Ier]

Does it have to be Austria? You can choose a country with
a) war
b) civil unrest
c) great pollution
d) somehow other bad living conditions

Russia? If I remember correctly, it wasn't exactly the best place at the time.

How about a Jew from Germany? They were flocking here like locusts back in the day.

i saw this thing once that said that in germany they barely killed any of their jews.. they just treated them like crap

If you reside in the EU, that was illegal and you could get several years in jail for believing in it.

[Snorri1234]

Does it have to be Austria? You can choose a country with
a) war
b) civil unrest
c) great pollution
d) somehow other bad living conditions

Russia? If I remember correctly, it wasn't exactly the best place at the time.

How about a Jew from Germany? They were flocking here like locusts back in the day.

i saw this thing once that said that in germany they barely killed any of their jews.. they just treated them like crap

If you reside in the EU, that was illegal and you could get several years in jail for believing in it.

Indeed, so much stupidity could seriously cause harm.

[fireedud]

okay here is all three:

January* 17, 1890,
I am thinking of leaving Vienna, Austria. A few gentlemen came over from America and told us about all the oppurtunities there. I can probably get a good job there and make more money. Who knows, I might even be rich. What would have been wrong if I had born into a wealthy family?
If I even had just a small fortune, I could do so much more: I could spend more time with my family, I wouldn't have to work so hard, I could even have a few luxuries. I'll be able to provide for family more: somedays all we can afford is Rindsuppe (beef soup)or Tafelspitz (boiled beef).
But if I go, I would leave all my friends and family and everything I know; I will be going to an unfamiliar place without any idea of what I am doing; I don't even speak the same language! I just hope these people were telling the truth. Unforutately, the only way to find out is to take the risk, but if they were telling the truth, I could be rich, like a king! I have talked to my family about it, my wife said I should do what I feel is best for the kids, but my three children seem a little reluctant and nervous. I have explained to them the money we could get in America, of all the oppurtunities we could get there, but they still were reluctant and nervous. I feel it will be best for them to go there. Well, I hope they've changed their minds by the time I have saved enough money for all of us to take the voyage, so we can at least have a pleasant trip.

August* 14,1891,
We have just left port about a day ago. We were crammed into a small room along with 17 people. The wallsand floor are dirty and the kid next to me has thrown up several times already. This is making me sick, how anybody can stand these conditions is beyond me. Thank God my family and I are in good health. I can't really write too much now, it's too hard to not throw up onto this and avoid the pools of vomit at the same time.

Febuaree** 21, 1892,
I arrive in America. I liv in Chicago. I try to speek and rite English. It very hard. There ar so many rulez. I cant rember them. Mi childs ar laerning kwiker then me. Tey try to teech me but i just cant laern kwik eenuf. I do not live like king but I make money moor then Vienna. I be a funee "slap-stik" man in a show calld vaudvil. I dont understand "slap-stik" but peepel who watch me say I reelee funee. My bosss say I mite go to Nu York Sitee soon to work in Pales Teather. They say I might be rich. Who nows, mabee I will liv like a king soon.

*Translated from Austrian
** Written in English

[Heimdall]

Febuaree** 21, 1892,
I arrive in America. I liv in Chicago. I try to speek and rite English. It very hard. There ar so many rulez. I cant rember them. Mi childs ar laerning kwiker then me. Tey try to teech me but i just cant laern kwik eenuf. I do not live like king but I make money moor then Vienna. I be a funee "slap-stik" man in a show calld vaudvil. I dont understand "slap-stik" but peepel who watch me say I reelee funee. My bosss say I mite go to Nu York Sitee soon to work in Pales Teather. They say I might be rich. Who nows, mabee I will liv like a king soon.


** Written in English

I know you're saying his english isn't too good but you've gone overboard here. Even Austrians know how to spell New York City.

[ignotus]

Febuaree** 21, 1892,
I arrive in America. I liv in Chicago. I try to speek and rite English. It very hard. There ar so many rulez. I cant rember them. Mi childs ar laerning kwiker then me. Tey try to teech me but i just cant laern kwik eenuf. I do not live like king but I make money moor then Vienna. I be a funee "slap-stik" man in a show calld vaudvil. I dont understand "slap-stik" but peepel who watch me say I reelee funee. My bosss say I mite go to Nu York Sitee soon to work in Pales Teather. They say I might be rich. Who nows, mabee I will liv like a king soon.


** Written in English

I know you're saying his english isn't too good but you've gone overboard here. Even Austrians know how to spell New York City.

OFT!
Next tip: Try to put some German words in stead of English:

money = Geld
work = Arbeit
children = Kinder


or
try to write first letter of the nouns with capital letters (That's how Germans do):

Boss
Man
King

[Minister Masket]

The translation thing was nice, but apart from that, it's cliche with chips.
Now this may be a bog-standard graded essay thing, but I feel that any story can be original with a little imagination.
For example, why was your ship not attacked by a giant squid?

[fireedud]

For example, why was your ship not attacked by a giant squid?

My ship was giant squid-proof.

[Minister Masket]

For example, why was your ship not attacked by a giant squid?

My ship was giant squid-proof.

In 1890? Unlikely.
And that's besides the point. You're talking to someone who got an A in English Literature and Language. You would be wise to listen to me....

[fireedud]

For example, why was your ship not attacked by a giant squid?

My ship was giant squid-proof.

In 1890? Unlikely.
And that's besides the point. You're talking to someone who got an A in English Literature and Language. You would be wise to listen to me....

I get A's too, in all my subjects, it's just that it's relitively lower in writing for me.