Moral Question for you all

[Vid_FISO]

I'd find it fascinating to get some feedback from this forum.

[TA1LGUNN3R]

There's no context. Was the old lady a mean old cunt to her daughters? Was she a good mother?

Old people die, their children come to expect it.

-TG

[waauw]

There's no context. Was the old lady a mean old cunt to her daughters? Was she a good mother?

Old people die, their children come to expect it.

-TG

I agree, not enough information. And to add to it: did the daughter have fun on vacation? Could be the vacation was a means to distract her or help her with her mournings.

[Dukasaur]

In and of itself this is neither right nor wrong.

You'd have to provide a lot more information -- how is the relationship between the woman and her daughters, what are their financial circumstances, what is the dynamic of the wider extended family, etc., etc.

My wife's mother went into the hospital just before we were to leave on vacation. It wasn't certain that she was going to die, but we knew there was a good chance of it. Naturally, the question came up if we should cancel our trip, and we decided not to. The decision rested on three factors: the financial loss of the cancelled trip, the rather poor relationship she had with her mother, and most of all, the fact that she'd already done enough.

If we were wealthy and could afford to kiss off that trip and take another one later in the year, I might have considered it, but we are working poor and if we cancelled that trip it would have been years before we could afford another one.

If she had a strong and loving relationship with her mother, we would have cancelled the trip regardless of the financial consequences, but her relationship with her mother was one of those nasty and bitter mother-daughter relationships where they continue to see each other because they feel it's their duty but there's no love lost.

The third and probably the most important factor was that my wife had already done enough. For years she had been helping her mother, running her around to her appointments, doing her grocery shopping, etc., etc. During the previous hospital stay my wife had gone up to the hospital every day for six weeks to visit her mother, joyless visits performed purely out of a sense of duty. Fatigue from all of that was actually one of the reasons we booked the trip to begin with. Neither of my wife's brothers bothered visiting their mother or doing anything for her. My wife had certainly done far more than her share.

Under all those circumstances, I had no problem unequivocally refusing to cancel the trip. If any of the three factors had been different, I might have said otherwise. So, your question doesn't mean anything in a vacuum, all the circumstances surrounding the event are relevant.

[jusplay4fun]

My first reaction was? why? why ask this question?

Then, I thought that I needed more facts. I read the other 3 responses and I have to agree: the context of the situation of the relationship is needed to make a decision here. Most moral, ethical situations, such as this one, requires more facts and the context of the situation.

Mike JP4Fun

In and of itself this is neither right nor wrong.

You'd have to provide a lot more information -- how is the relationship between the woman and her daughters, what are their financial circumstances, what is the dynamic of the wider extended family, etc., etc.

My wife's mother went into the hospital just before we were to leave on vacation. It wasn't certain that she was going to die, but we knew there was a good chance of it. Naturally, the question came up if we should cancel our trip, and we decided not to. The decision rested on three factors: the financial loss of the cancelled trip, the rather poor relationship she had with her mother, and most of all, the fact that she'd already done enough.

If we were wealthy and could afford to kiss off that trip and take another one later in the year, I might have considered it, but we are working poor and if we cancelled that trip it would have been years before we could afford another one.

If she had a strong and loving relationship with her mother, we would have cancelled the trip regardless of the financial consequences, but her relationship with her mother was one of those nasty and bitter mother-daughter relationships where they continue to see each other because they feel it's their duty but there's no love lost.

The third and probably the most important factor was that my wife had already done enough. For years she had been helping her mother, running her around to her appointments, doing her grocery shopping, etc., etc. During the previous hospital stay my wife had gone up to the hospital every day for six weeks to visit her mother, joyless visits performed purely out of a sense of duty. Fatigue from all of that was actually one of the reasons we booked the trip to begin with. Neither of my wife's brothers bothered visiting their mother or doing anything for her. My wife had certainly done far more than her share.

Under all those circumstances, I had no problem unequivocally refusing to cancel the trip. If any of the three factors had been different, I might have said otherwise. So, your question doesn't mean anything in a vacuum, all the circumstances surrounding the event are relevant.

[Symmetry]

Grief hits people in different ways. From personal experience, there's a lot of pressure from people who aren't grieving to behave in a way that seems appropriate.

Carrying on with life is a valid way of dealing with death.

[Thorthoth]

Dang, those kittens are cute...

[Bernie Sanders]

I officially shut down this thread.

[KoolBak]

When we go on our biannual vacation, we buy the plane tickets months in advance and our room is paid for a year in advance as well. Same with car rental....none of this is refundable. We are not rich. I am sure my dearly departed mother would want us to go enjoy our vacation, not piss away thousands of dollars to appear pious or whatevs. Silly question.

[Symmetry]

When we go on our biannual vacation, we buy the plane tickets months in advance and our room is paid for a year in advance as well. Same with car rental....none of this is refundable. We are not rich. I am sure my dearly departed mother would want us to go enjoy our vacation, not piss away thousands of dollars to appear pious or whatevs. Silly question.

Very true, but being irrationally angry is also part of grieving for some people. Looking to place blame on people who aren't doing anything wrong, just because they aren't grieving in the "right way" seems like a classic example of that.

Grief makes people do weird things, but that's kinda understandable when you have part of your life depart.

[KoolBak]

I just lost my mom, so this hits home

[Dukasaur]

I just lost my mom, so this hits home

Condolences, old friend.

[KoolBak]

Thanks manno....she had a good run ;o)