Dad jokes

by **khazalid** on Sat Feb 25, 2017 6:02 am

What do you call a happy mushroom?

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Did you like that joke?

No?

Well unless you have a better one,

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by **BoganGod** on Sat Feb 25, 2017 7:50 am

[Did you hear about the fly on the toilet seat?

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Why aren't cats alcoholics?

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by **warmonger1981** on Sat Feb 25, 2017 9:35 am

You don't call me daddy. Only your momma calls me daddy.

by **BoganGod** on Sat Feb 25, 2017 9:52 am

warmonger1981 wrote:You don't call me daddy. Only your momma calls me daddy.

f*ck bro, am I adopted?

by **riskllama** on Sat Feb 25, 2017 3:17 pm

if carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up...

by **warmonger1981** on Sat Feb 25, 2017 6:28 pm

I once fucked a girl with a carrot. I even made her take a bite and say " what's up doc". No bullshit.

by **betiko** on Sun Feb 26, 2017 9:52 am

warmonger1981 wrote:I once fucked a girl with a carrot. I even made her take a bite and say " what's up doc". No bullshit.

That s no dad joke. I ain't telling it to my daughter.

by **warmonger1981** on Sun Feb 26, 2017 4:28 pm

I'll tell her. She would prefer it. Trust me. I

by **jonesthecurl** on Mon Feb 27, 2017 8:04 am

My dad tells this one to each new generation. He and kids find it funny.

Dad: What's the difference between a post box (mailbox for US types) and an elephant's bottom?
Small child: I don't know.
Dad: I won't trust YOU to post a letter then...

I had a similar one when my kids were small:
Dad: What's the difference between Daddy's pocket and a litter bin?
Child: I don't know.
Dad: Well I wish you'd learn! Go and put this in the bin, not Daddy's pocket.

At least they didn't throw it on the ground though.

by **Dukasaur** on Sun Mar 12, 2017 5:19 pm

My wife is always throwing shit at me, but lucky for me her aim is terrible.

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by **mrswdk** on Mon Mar 13, 2017 2:49 am

How does Bob Marley like his donuts?

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by **DirtyDishSoap** on Mon Mar 13, 2017 3:37 am

What's Bruce Lee's favorite drink?

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by **ConfederateSS** on Mon Mar 13, 2017 3:38 am

------I use these ones my father would tell every Yankee day...
-------Why is The 4th of July?...get it..."Y" is the fourth letter in the word July...

-------Or why can't you write to WASHINGTON on Yankee day?...
-------Because he is dead.... :lol: