How many Americans does it take to fill the Grand Canyon?
What’s the difference between the US and yogurt?
What do you call a worker in America that will work hard for reasonable pay and never whine?
What happens when an american breaks his arm?
How many American tourists does it take to change a light bulb?
It is said that Mohandas Ghandi was asked, "What is your opinion of American civilization?"
Americans (uh-mar'-i-kun) noun 1 Persons so socially maladjusted that they would leave, or be forcibly exiled from, their homeland and family to travel across vast oceans to the uncivilized frontiers of a distant continent. 2 Persons descended from one or more persons defined in 1 and commonly retainng the characteristics thereof.
The following is allegedly the transcript of a radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995, as released by the Chief of Naval Operations:
Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees the North to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
"God created War so that Americans would learn Geography" - Mark Twain
Oscar Wilde's quotes about America:
"We (the British) have everything in common with America. Except, of course, language."
"America is the only nation that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between."
America: Where being gay is a choice and being obese is genetics.
