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Why horse's asses really ARE important ... (humor)

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Why horse's asses really ARE important ... (humor)

Postby PLAYER57832 on Thu May 01, 2008 8:36 am

The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number.

Why ?
Because that's the way they built them in England , and English expatriates built the US railroads.
Why ?

Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways .

Why did 'they' use that gauge then?
Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons.

Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?
Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England , because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.

So who built those old rutted roads?
Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (and England ) for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.

And the ruts in the roads?
Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts,
which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome , they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing. Therefore the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. Bureaucracies live forever.

So the next time you are handed a Specification/ Procedure/ Process and wonder 'What horse's ass came up with it?' you may be exactly right.
Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses. (Two horses' asses.) Now, the twist to the story:

When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRB's. The SRB's are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah . The engineers who designed the SRB's would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRB's had to be shipped by train from
the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains, and the SRB's had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.

So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass. And you thought being a horse's ass wasn't important? Ancient horse's asses control almost everything.


(note found this in my papers ... not sure where it came from, but thought it worth sharing ...)
Last edited by PLAYER57832 on Fri May 02, 2008 9:30 am, edited 4 times in total.
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Re: Why horse's asses really ARE important ... : )

Postby suggs on Thu May 01, 2008 8:42 am

Christ.
A long winded, hisotorically based exposition on CC which is:

a) Not some conspiracy bollocks.
b) All true.

CONGRATS, OLD SON! Huzzah.

All joking aside, i found that really interesting-which also explains the "Why am I single" mystery.
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Re: Why horse's asses really ARE important ... : )

Postby MeDeFe on Fri May 02, 2008 7:39 am

But suggs, if horses have been planning that for over 2000 years. What else might they have planned that we don't know about yet?!?
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Re: Why horse's asses really ARE important ... : )

Postby reminisco on Fri May 02, 2008 9:26 am

MeDeFe wrote:But suggs, if horses have been planning that for over 2000 years. What else might they have planned that we don't know about yet?!?


they are in league with Al-Qaeda and their nefarious weather control.

after Mr. Ed failed to control human's minds, they turned to controlling the weather. which Al-Qaeda does.
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you only think you did
i could have sworn i saw it too
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