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Was Jesus a stoner?

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Are you swayed by my elegant arguments?

 
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Was Jesus a stoner?

Postby heavycola on Tue Jan 08, 2008 9:34 am

The argument:

1) Exodus 30:23 - the recipe for holy anointing oil includes large quantities of 'fragrant cane' - a translation of the hebrew word 'kaneh-bos'.

2) Hemp was certainly cultivated in those times - as a material for maiign rope, sails etc. And the word 'cannabis' has been shown to have a hebrew root (kaneh-bos!).
Sula benet, a Polish anthropologist, wrote a treatise, "Tracing One Word Through Different Languages." This was a study on the word 'cannabis', based on a study of the oldest Hebrew texts. Although the word cannabis was thought to be of Scythian origin, Benet's research showed it had an earlier root in the Semitic Languages (such as Hebrew).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sula_Benet


3) Back to the recipe in Exodus: the cannabis is combined with olive oil -THC, the active ingredient, is oil-soluble, and can be absorbed by the body through the skin after application of the oil (anointing).
(The practice of using mind-altering substances in religious ritual is, of course, widespread across cultures and throughout history.)

4) 'Christ' means 'anointed one'.

5) Therefore - Christ was anointed, with anointing oil. He got high.
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Postby Snorri1234 on Tue Jan 08, 2008 9:41 am

YES!
"Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate uphill."

Duane: You know what they say about love and war.
Tim: Yes, one involves a lot of physical and psychological pain, and the other one's war.
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Postby Hanul on Tue Jan 08, 2008 9:42 am

Definately yes
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Postby Guiscard on Tue Jan 08, 2008 9:59 am

Slightly naiive and confusing message of peace and love in an otherwise violent world?

Leaving the world and returning a few days later because be forgot something?

Water to wine?

A hell of a lot of bread and fishes? Munchies?

Of course he was...
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Postby HungrySomali on Tue Jan 08, 2008 10:17 am

Guiscard wrote:Slightly naiive and confusing message of peace and love in an otherwise violent world?

Leaving the world and returning a few days later because be forgot something?

Water to wine?

A hell of a lot of bread and fishes? Munchies?

Of course he was...


:lol:
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Postby heavycola on Tue Jan 08, 2008 12:05 pm

HungrySomali wrote:
Guiscard wrote:Slightly naiive and confusing message of peace and love in an otherwise violent world?

Leaving the world and returning a few days later because be forgot something?

Water to wine?

A hell of a lot of bread and fishes? Munchies?

Of course he was...


:lol:


...and the boundaries of taste on CC take another decisive step backwards...

BTW this poll is looking pretty one-sided. We are blazing with the holy spirit.
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Postby Heimdall on Tue Jan 08, 2008 12:29 pm

You forgot:

6) He looks like a hippy.
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Postby MeDeFe on Tue Jan 08, 2008 12:36 pm

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Postby heavycola on Tue Jan 08, 2008 12:40 pm

hehehe. That used to bother me a little in my belivin' days - what if he's already come back and we ignored him? Palestine, 30AD, a guy doing magic tricks and claiming to be the son of god is going to attract a lot of attention. Now we have david blaine and david icke, and we are quite happy to ignore them both. What if the second coming happened and we all missed it?

(cue jay's literal explanation of why that won't happen + winking smiley in 5...4...)
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Postby Danix on Tue Jan 08, 2008 1:07 pm

Exodus= Before Christ

Sorry,but i am not convinced
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Postby Genghis Khant on Tue Jan 08, 2008 1:56 pm

Heimdall wrote:You forgot:

6) He looks like a hippy.

Long hair, beard, traveller, didn't have a proper job... yup, sounds like a hippy stoner to me.
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Postby Genghis Khant on Tue Jan 08, 2008 1:57 pm

Danix wrote:Exodus= Before Christ

Sorry,but i am not convinced

Exodus= Movement of Jah people.
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Postby Danix on Tue Jan 08, 2008 2:15 pm

Exodus writing was finished in 1512 BC !!

it isn´t about jesus

also,in one situation,jesus denied wine with a drug that was contained
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Postby Snorri1234 on Tue Jan 08, 2008 2:41 pm

Danix wrote:Exodus writing was finished in 1512 BC !!

it isn´t about jesus


Well duh, but the point is that they're making hennep-oil.
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Postby Fieryo on Tue Jan 08, 2008 2:49 pm

I voted yes because I'm sure Jesus got high with a little help from his friends, but I highly (haha, puns) doubt he was anything like a modern day stoner. I mean, have you seen those guys? They can hardly stand up straight let alone walk on water.
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Postby vtmarik on Tue Jan 08, 2008 5:30 pm

Fieryo wrote:I voted yes because I'm sure Jesus got high with a little help from his friends, but I highly (haha, puns) doubt he was anything like a modern day stoner. I mean, have you seen those guys? They can hardly stand up straight let alone walk on water.


He probably smoked so much that it ascended his mental abilities and awoke latent psychic powers.

Just imagine his reaction when he walked on water.
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Postby Snorri1234 on Tue Jan 08, 2008 5:31 pm

vtmarik wrote:
Fieryo wrote:I voted yes because I'm sure Jesus got high with a little help from his friends, but I highly (haha, puns) doubt he was anything like a modern day stoner. I mean, have you seen those guys? They can hardly stand up straight let alone walk on water.


He probably smoked so much that it ascended his mental abilities and awoke latent psychic powers.

Just imagine his reaction when he walked on water.


"Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude.... look at what I'm doing!"
"Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate uphill."

Duane: You know what they say about love and war.
Tim: Yes, one involves a lot of physical and psychological pain, and the other one's war.
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Postby unriggable on Tue Jan 08, 2008 5:36 pm

vtmarik wrote:
Fieryo wrote:I voted yes because I'm sure Jesus got high with a little help from his friends, but I highly (haha, puns) doubt he was anything like a modern day stoner. I mean, have you seen those guys? They can hardly stand up straight let alone walk on water.


He probably smoked so much that it ascended his mental abilities and awoke latent psychic powers.

Just imagine his reaction when he walked on water.


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Postby Genghis Khant on Tue Jan 08, 2008 9:20 pm

Walk on water?

pfft! That's nothing.

I run on vodka.
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Postby Fieryo on Tue Jan 08, 2008 9:40 pm

They also found a Nirvana album at the church of the Holy Sepulchre further proving Jesus and the Apostles were total fans of the green ganja.
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Re: Was Jesus a stoner?

Postby MR. Nate on Wed Jan 09, 2008 1:23 am

Two little issues with your wonderful theory

1. When Wikipedia has a caveat on your research, and you're obscure, then you know your research is on tenuous ground. The "Cannabis" is only 1/6th of the stuff soaked into the oil, and when only a single horn is poured in an anointing, and it is being absorbed through the skin, seems like not very much is getting in.

2. Christ, meaning anointed one, is a title for THE anointed one, not a general term for anointing. Jesus probably did not have more oil poured on Him than anyone else, in fact, the priests would be the ones regularly anointed. It's not a description, it's a title.
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Postby Beastly on Wed Jan 09, 2008 4:22 am

hemp has less than 1% THC in it. If hemp is grown by your mary-jane plants, it will kill the plants, they will not produce.

Growing Hemp was made illegal to keep the indians from making money. The reservations are suppose to be a sovereign nation, to grow and kill whatever they need to survive. With the sales of Hemp, the Whole Indian Nation could be provided for. But our wonderful white man government wants to keep them poor, so they can't take over.

America buys all their Hemp from Canada. It's BS.

Early colonial American history,crop settlers were required to grow hemp.

By using hemp for paper and construction materials, pressure is removed from forests. Hemp also grows much faster and more densely than trees do.

Hemp seed oil, is considered to be the #1 nutritional oil for health, because it has the highest and most complete profile of essential fatty acids

George Washington and Thomas Jefferson both grew hemp. Ben Franklin owned a mill that made hemp paper. Jefferson drafted the Declaration of Independence on hemp paper.

If one tried to ingest enough industrial hemp to get 'a buzz', it would be the equivalent of taking 2-3 doses of a high-fiber laxative.

The products that can be made from hemp number over 25,000.

It is very possible that Jesus used Hemp products, but smoking Pot is not good for the body, and he believed that His body was the host for the Holy Spirit, and he was perfect so I doubt he would do anything to harm his body. Nobody needs pot to talk to God.
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Re: Was Jesus a stoner?

Postby heavycola on Wed Jan 09, 2008 4:43 am

MR. Nate wrote:Two little issues with your wonderful theory

1. When Wikipedia has a caveat on your research, and you're obscure, then you know your research is on tenuous ground. The "Cannabis" is only 1/6th of the stuff soaked into the oil, and when only a single horn is poured in an anointing, and it is being absorbed through the skin, seems like not very much is getting in.

2. Christ, meaning anointed one, is a title for THE anointed one, not a general term for anointing. Jesus probably did not have more oil poured on Him than anyone else, in fact, the priests would be the ones regularly anointed. It's not a description, it's a title.


Tsk, you and yer theological learnin's.

SToner was perhaps not the right word. But, as I said, teh use of psychotropic substances to enahnce religiosu ritual has been widespread since the year dot.
re: teh strength - THC can be absorbed through the skin while dissolved in oil. How much of a buzz you got depends on the part of the plant used, which brings me to...

Beastly - it's called 'fragrant cane'. Hemp doesn't smell fo anything ecept plant. Cannabsi flowers, on teh other hand, not only smell pungent and wonderful, they have mind-altering properites.

So -to make a holy anointing oil for use in rarified religious ceremonies, do you use:
a) the fibrous, inert part of a plant
or
b) the sweet-smeling, mysterious-propertyy-posessing part.

If i was a holy man i wouldl have gone with b). I am wondering why you assume they would have used the stalk and not the flowers.
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