Incandenza wrote:Robinette wrote:Standard .... because I work alone
6 player .... because it's harder to win
Escalating .... for the complexity, and for the adrenaline rush, and because the game is over before someones feelings are bruised
Classic .... because I know where every country is
Ajacent .... because it requires more strategy
And with Skilled opponents .... "because it's beautiful, man..."
In other news, the sun rose in the east this morning, the Pacific Ocean is composed of salt water, smoking is bad for a person's health, and Mars is really far away.
Now, sports. 
And now, to tell us what's happenning in the world of sports, here is the inimitable Lew Goldman.
To my way of thinking there are really only three sports: baseball, auto racing, and football. Everything else is either a game or an activity.
Soccer comes to mind. Soccer is not a sport because you can't use your arms. Anything where you can't use your arms can't be a sport. Tap dancing isn't a sport. I rest my case.
Running. People think running is a sport. Running isn't a sport because anybody can do it. I can run, you can run. For Christ sakes, my mother can run! You don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated, do you?
Swimming. Swimming isn't a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense. Sailing isn't a sport. Sailing is a way to get somewhere. Riding the bus isn't a sport, why the heck should sailing be a sport?
Bowling. Bowling isn't a sport because you have to rent shoes. Don't forget, these are my rules. I make 'em up.
Billiards. Some people think billiards is a sport, but it can't be, because there's no chance of serious injury. Unless, of course, you welch on a bet in a tough neighborhood. Then, if you wind up with a pool cue stickin' out of your butt, you know you might be the victim of a sports-related injury. But that ain't billiards, that's pool, and that starts with a P, and that rhymes with D, and that brings me to darts.
Darts could have been a sport, because at least there's a chance to put someone's eye out. But, alas, darts will never be a sport, because the whole object of the game is to reach zero, which goes against all sports logic.
Lacrosse is not a sport; lacrosse is a faggoty college activity. I don't care how rough it is, anytime you're running around a field, waving a stick with a little net on the end of it, you're engaged in a faggoty college activity. Period.
Field hockey and
fencing. Same thing. Faggoty college stuff. Also these activities aren't sports, because you can't gamble on them. Anything you can't gamble on can't be a sport. When was the last time you called your bookie and made a fencing bet?
Gymnastics is not a sport because Romanians are good at it. It took me a long time to come up with that rule, but dammit, I did it.
Polo isn't a sport. Polo is golf on horseback. Without holes. It's a great concept, but not a sport. And as far as water polo is concerned, I hesitate to even mention it, because it's extremely cruel to horses.
Then you have
tennis. Tennis is very trendy and very fruity, but it's not a sport. It's just a way to meet other trendy fruits. Technically, tennis is an advanced form a Ping-Pong. In fact, tennis is Ping-Pong played while standing on the table. Great concept, not a sport.
And finally welcome to
golf. For my full take on golf, I refer you elsewhere in the book, but let it just be said golf is a game that might possibly be fun, if it could be played alone. But it's the vacuous, striving, superficial, male-bonding joiners one has to associate with that makes it such a repulsive pastime. And it is decidedly not a sport. Period.
That's the news. Good night.