Sponsors/Sycophants wanted
Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2012 5:22 amSo here's the plan.....
Having played the game and learned all the loopholes I'm going to strive to be your new Conqueror (yes, that's what the title implies). I trust this will meet with your approval:
1. I shall change my user name to something totally divorced from the real me, because my methods may become rather nefarious. When I say 'divorced' I mean something you can't associate me with in real life, e.g. Gen.Leeliked, Maj.Ityloveme, Pvt.Partsunabused or any other such puerile moniker that represents something contrary to the 'real me' or how I am perceived/treated. OK?
2. I will check all the newest CC members and, once they have a few games' experience under their belt, I shall invite them (individually) to any one of the large number of private 1v1 games I have set up. These won't be any ordinary private games though; they will be created on a complex map and with freestyle gameplay so that the poor suckers have no idea of what they are getting into! Let's face it....freestyle, after just a few regular games on the site thinking they were playing Risk! as they had done throughout their childhood on the dining room table? Hahahaha, it'll be easy pickings.
3. To make it all look 'above board' so as to avoid circumspection by the site mods and/or ridicule by others I shall do my bit of altruistic duty (but not really). I'll profess to be teaching newcomers to the site, but of course this will only be done after I have harvested their points, hehe. What I will then do is simply copy and paste the same PM to every victim of mine with all the strategy they need to know to win on, say, Waterloo (I mean c'mon, what could be simpler than sending out the same PM to each one and making it look 'personal' haha). They will think I'm God for having divulged all the necessary tactics on how to win and possibly forgive me for having points-raped them over a series of games. The funny part is I shall thereafter either foe them or simply never invite them again, thus releasing a 'wolf in cook's clothing' upon an unsuspecting CC public who I shall never have to play again. The next time that a cadet beats a colonel on Waterloo you can probably thank me. Am I not great for this site, and don't I make the scoreboard more dynamic?
"What's the payoff?" you may ask. Well, I shall record a note in chat at the end of each game, giving that particular player a rank and prospect. I don't doubt that he or she will go off with his/her new-found wealth of knowledge and rack-up a lot of nice points so that I may fleece that person once more (and on a friendly basis no less!). So you see, I benefit from winning lots of points from a patsy and then later I watch and laugh as that cook beats unsuspecting officers whose rank gets lowered, thus bettering my prospects of standing alone on a pedestal. Brilliant! I'm sure by now you can see my conquering ways. And there's more!
4. If I'm really lucky I'll find an innocent youngster who has newly-joined. Someone of around 11 years of age who probably doesn't know any better. Then, to the maximum extent possible (until maybe he is booted for being a multi as he had to set-up a secondary account due to accepting all my invites and thus not being able to play a game he enjoyed or had a chance in) I shall dupe him into joining my games by inviting him and befriending him (yes, I am low enough to do this). I reckon over the course of four weeks I could scavenge a lot of points off him by winning, say, 19 out of 19 games. Don't worry though - dear sponsor or supporter - I won't invite him to that many games unless I know he is only a child, so I won't be taking any unnecessary risks with my points. Sorry for emboldening so much text in this paragraph, but that part did get me particularly excited at the thought of those easy points from one so young. There really should be a law against it!
5. "How to get fresh meat?" you may ask. Good point. I won't deny it will be a boring and soulless 'no life' job trawling through the new members, looking for prospects, and hooking them at the opportune time. I have therefore created the ultimate foggy ruse. What I shall do is create tournaments open only to sergeants and lower and thereby create my own personal butcher's window. I shall call it The Hansel & Gretel ploy. Needless to say I will be able to determine who to farm next, whilst at the same time puffing out my chest and saying "Lookee here at all [insert sponsor's name here] does for this site!"
6. Hmmmm, what's pt.6? I guess I've already revealed what my strategy will be to amass a load of points and reach the top. Oh I know! I shall make a point of going to the C&A forum and identifying cheats and multis (they say it takes one to know one!) because there's bound to be some little blighter that wins a game off me now and then (must be a multi!), so I'll shop him or her to the powers-that-be. That may also put me in good stead with the admin whilst keeping the heat off me.
So come on, do you wish to support my new gameplan or not? It's really not difficult and only involves me spending mind-numbing hours-on-end playing the same map over and over again against people with whom I shall never become acquainted, so what should we care? OK, so it might screw up the scoreboard a tad, cause some officers to lose games to cooks I gave a good thrashing to as I taught them their 1,2,3s, and alienate a lot of freemiums from the site; but hey....you'll have a new Conqueror to worship and you can all kiss my nads (if you're not an officer of course).
Yours,
Maj.Sociopath-Scumbag Esq, CCCITM
Having played the game and learned all the loopholes I'm going to strive to be your new Conqueror (yes, that's what the title implies). I trust this will meet with your approval:
1. I shall change my user name to something totally divorced from the real me, because my methods may become rather nefarious. When I say 'divorced' I mean something you can't associate me with in real life, e.g. Gen.Leeliked, Maj.Ityloveme, Pvt.Partsunabused or any other such puerile moniker that represents something contrary to the 'real me' or how I am perceived/treated. OK?
2. I will check all the newest CC members and, once they have a few games' experience under their belt, I shall invite them (individually) to any one of the large number of private 1v1 games I have set up. These won't be any ordinary private games though; they will be created on a complex map and with freestyle gameplay so that the poor suckers have no idea of what they are getting into! Let's face it....freestyle, after just a few regular games on the site thinking they were playing Risk! as they had done throughout their childhood on the dining room table? Hahahaha, it'll be easy pickings.
3. To make it all look 'above board' so as to avoid circumspection by the site mods and/or ridicule by others I shall do my bit of altruistic duty (but not really). I'll profess to be teaching newcomers to the site, but of course this will only be done after I have harvested their points, hehe. What I will then do is simply copy and paste the same PM to every victim of mine with all the strategy they need to know to win on, say, Waterloo (I mean c'mon, what could be simpler than sending out the same PM to each one and making it look 'personal' haha). They will think I'm God for having divulged all the necessary tactics on how to win and possibly forgive me for having points-raped them over a series of games. The funny part is I shall thereafter either foe them or simply never invite them again, thus releasing a 'wolf in cook's clothing' upon an unsuspecting CC public who I shall never have to play again. The next time that a cadet beats a colonel on Waterloo you can probably thank me. Am I not great for this site, and don't I make the scoreboard more dynamic?
"What's the payoff?" you may ask. Well, I shall record a note in chat at the end of each game, giving that particular player a rank and prospect. I don't doubt that he or she will go off with his/her new-found wealth of knowledge and rack-up a lot of nice points so that I may fleece that person once more (and on a friendly basis no less!). So you see, I benefit from winning lots of points from a patsy and then later I watch and laugh as that cook beats unsuspecting officers whose rank gets lowered, thus bettering my prospects of standing alone on a pedestal. Brilliant! I'm sure by now you can see my conquering ways. And there's more!
4. If I'm really lucky I'll find an innocent youngster who has newly-joined. Someone of around 11 years of age who probably doesn't know any better. Then, to the maximum extent possible (until maybe he is booted for being a multi as he had to set-up a secondary account due to accepting all my invites and thus not being able to play a game he enjoyed or had a chance in) I shall dupe him into joining my games by inviting him and befriending him (yes, I am low enough to do this). I reckon over the course of four weeks I could scavenge a lot of points off him by winning, say, 19 out of 19 games. Don't worry though - dear sponsor or supporter - I won't invite him to that many games unless I know he is only a child, so I won't be taking any unnecessary risks with my points. Sorry for emboldening so much text in this paragraph, but that part did get me particularly excited at the thought of those easy points from one so young. There really should be a law against it!
5. "How to get fresh meat?" you may ask. Good point. I won't deny it will be a boring and soulless 'no life' job trawling through the new members, looking for prospects, and hooking them at the opportune time. I have therefore created the ultimate foggy ruse. What I shall do is create tournaments open only to sergeants and lower and thereby create my own personal butcher's window. I shall call it The Hansel & Gretel ploy. Needless to say I will be able to determine who to farm next, whilst at the same time puffing out my chest and saying "Lookee here at all [insert sponsor's name here] does for this site!"
6. Hmmmm, what's pt.6? I guess I've already revealed what my strategy will be to amass a load of points and reach the top. Oh I know! I shall make a point of going to the C&A forum and identifying cheats and multis (they say it takes one to know one!) because there's bound to be some little blighter that wins a game off me now and then (must be a multi!), so I'll shop him or her to the powers-that-be. That may also put me in good stead with the admin whilst keeping the heat off me.
So come on, do you wish to support my new gameplan or not? It's really not difficult and only involves me spending mind-numbing hours-on-end playing the same map over and over again against people with whom I shall never become acquainted, so what should we care? OK, so it might screw up the scoreboard a tad, cause some officers to lose games to cooks I gave a good thrashing to as I taught them their 1,2,3s, and alienate a lot of freemiums from the site; but hey....you'll have a new Conqueror to worship and you can all kiss my nads (if you're not an officer of course).
Yours,
Maj.Sociopath-Scumbag Esq, CCCITM
