by ZawBanjito on Mon Oct 02, 2006 5:43 am
Dude, girls don't like dicks, they like men who have slept with loooooads of women. It makes them feel special, like you chose them over all those other hot ladies. Since the guys who get laid the most are dicks (date rape, drunk chicks, your dick buddy's lonely girlfriend...) dicks think girls like them for what they are. They conclude this because of their tiny atrophied heads. Whereas, in reality, if women only cared about who you were, you'd be out on your ass so faaast...
So here's what you do, Pedro: Have you ever heard of TELEDILDONICS? It is now POSSIBLE to attach a fake mechanical vagina to your computer and program it to squeeze and vibrate madly every time, for example, you win two against zero. Perhaps if you eliminate an opponent, an extension tickles your balls... upon victory, something reaches further back and tickles the sphincter. I dunno, some dudes are into that... it's not gay if it's with a computer...
Then you're like, "Hey baby, check THIS out! Now I don't need you at all!" Proceed to strip naked and kick CC ass loudly and passionately in front of her. Raging jealousy will squeeze her back into your good graces double time quick sharp!
Follow the ZawBanjito Guide To Ladies And The Methods By Which They May Be Wooed and I GUARANTEE you will at least have a story you can never ever ever tell anyone.