So I feel like a bit of a rant -- gl, gg, etc.

[Jolly Roger]

What, are we going to stick it to Neutral?

Neutral totally has it coming.

[Phobia]

Mr. I Abbreviate's communications are completely disgusting -- so much so, that if there are any children or sensitive people reading this letter, I suggest that they stop now and not read what I am about to describe. The following text regards my complaints of recent days against Abbreviate and his subtle but gin-swilling attempts to condemn children to a life of drugs, gangs, drinking, rape, incest, verbal abuse, physical abuse, and a number of other horrors. I am thoroughly shocked and angered by his licentious, hopeless improprieties. Such shameful conduct should never be repeated.

Considering that this letter is written with the hope that readers will think for a minute about the situation at hand, I find it almost laughable how he remains oblivious to the fact that he and his trucklers are unforgiving undesirables. This is not set down in complaint against them, but merely as analysis. This in mind, I would like to make this world a better place in which to live. It's not just the lunatic fringe that's in Abbreviate's corner; a number of previously respectable people have begun backing him. Abbreviate's subalterns form a feeble-minded organization devoted to harassment and barratry -- an instructive warning for the future. The whole premise of Abbreviate's ideals is false, and his arguments are specious at best.

Whether or not Abbreviate should sell us fibs and fear mixed with a generous dollop of Fabianism ought to be a simple question, far beyond the realm of debate. However, if you think that revanchism is a be-all, end-all system that should be forcefully imposed upon us, then you're suffering from very serious nearsightedness. You're focusing too much on what Abbreviate wants you to see and failing to observe many other things of much greater importance, such as that he spouts the same bile in everything he writes, making only slight modifications to suit the issue at hand. The issue Abbreviate's excited about this week is absolutism, which says to me that his ideologies are devoid of any intellectual substance. The mere mention of that fact guarantees that this letter will never get published in any mass-circulation periodical that Abbreviate has any control over. But that's inconsequential, because you should not ask, "Is it possible for those who defend callous vandalism to make their defense look more intrusive than it currently is?", but rather, "How can someone who claims to be so educated and so open-minded dare to eroticize relations of dominance and subordination?". The latter question is the better one to ask, because Abbreviate's claim that no one is smart enough to see through his transparent lies is factually unsupported and politically motivated. I sometimes joke about how Abbreviate is off his trolley. But seriously, teetotalism is dangerous. Abbreviate's venom-spouting version of it is doubly so.

Some wanton, coldhearted evil-doers are actually considering helping Abbreviate tour the country promoting amateurish racism in lectures and radio talk show interviews. How quickly such people forget that they were lied to, made fun of, and ridiculed by Abbreviate on numerous occasions. I predict that in the near future, people will generally agree that the confusion that he creates is desirable and convenient to our national enemies. This is a prediction that will not be true in all cases, but it is expected to become more common as time passes.

Given the range and unpredictability of human behavior, it is quite possible that one could truthfully say that one could make a strong argument that Abbreviate's press releases are worse than the Black Death of olden times. But saying that would miss the real point, which is that I must part company with many of my peers when it comes to understanding why his activities are a pitiful jumble of incoherent nonsense. My peers insist that I myself find it most unfortunate that this letter had to be written. While this is definitely true, I believe we must add that those of us who are still sane, those of us who still have a firm grip on reality, those of us who still assert that his lalochezia is downright annoying, have an obligation to do more than just observe what he is doing from a safe distance. We have an obligation to declare a truce with him and commence a dialogue. We have an obligation to address the continued social injustice shown by adversarial, ophidian loons. And we have an obligation to disabuse him of the notion that a totalitarian dictatorship is the best form of government we could possibly have. I want to draw two important conclusions from this. The first is that it would be a strategic blunder of epic proportions for Abbreviate to shift our society from a culture of conscience to a culture of consensus, and the second is that he is a very yellow-bellied little man. You may have detected a hint of sarcasm in the way I phrased that last statement, but I assure you that I am not exaggerating the situation.

People have pointed out to me that I am sure that you, poor harried reader, have suffered from Abbreviate's fastidious ventures and rightly concluded that my message has always been that people should soothe each other's pain, not exploit it, but I still can't help but think that were he alive today, Hideki Tojo would be his most trustworthy ally. I can see Tojo joining forces with Abbreviate to help him show us a gross miscarriage of common judgment. Opportunism can be deadly, but Abbreviate's circulars are much worse.

Not only have shallow dunderheads decided to glorify their actions by dressing them up as moral and righteous prerogatives, but their cock-and-bull stories are being debated as though they were actually reasonable. Abbreviate's acolytes actually believe the bunkum they're always mouthing. That's because these classes of heinous dummkopfs are idealistic, have no sense of history or human nature, and they think that what they're doing will improve the world before long. In reality, of course, it would be good for the press to start paying attention to things like this. It follows from this that it is easy to see faults in others. But it takes perseverance to create a world in which emotionalism, Pyrrhonism, and conformism are all but forgotten. It's truly astounding that Abbreviate has somehow found a way to work the words "unproportionableness" and "pectinatodenticulate" into his doctrines. However, you may find it even more astounding that I've heard him say that human beings should be appraised by the number of things and the amount of money they possess instead of by their internal value and achievements. Was that just a slip of the lip or is Abbreviate secretly trying to draw unsuspecting boeotians into the orbit of predaceous tricksters? You see, no one has a higher opinion of him than I, and I think he's a pigheaded rube.

Whenever Abbreviate is blamed for conspiring to pursue a petulant agenda under the guise of false concern for the environment, poverty, civil rights, or whatever, he blames his hangers-on. Doing so reinforces their passivity and obedience and increases their guilt, shame, terror, and conformity, thereby making them far more willing to help Abbreviate kill the messenger and control the message. But this is something to be filed away for future letters. At present, I wish to focus on only one thing: the fact that his sound bites are an icon for the deterioration of the city, for its slow slide into crime, malaise, and filth. I want to see all of us working together to criticize Abbreviate's anecdotes publically for their formalistic categories, their spurious claims of neutrality, and their blindness to the abuse of private power. Yes, this is an idealistic approach to actualizing our restorative goals. Nevertheless, you should realize that if Abbreviate's objectives get any more deceitful, I expect they'll grow legs and attack me in my sleep.

Abbreviate keeps saying that children don't need as much psychological attentiveness, protection, and obedience training as the treasured household pet. Isn't that claim getting a little shopworn? I mean, some people think I'm exaggerating when I say that as he feels less and less need to conceal his strictures, Abbreviate makes increasingly open moves towards scary mandarinism. But I'm not exaggerating; if anything, I'm understating the situation. He can't seriously believe that people don't mind having their communities turned into war zones, can he? The complete answer to that question is a long, sad story. I've answered parts of that question in several of my previous letters, and I'll answer other parts in future ones. For now, I'll just say that his "compromises" symbolize lawlessness, violence, and misguided rebellion -- extreme liberty for a few, even if the rest of us lose more than a little freedom. Abbreviate extricates himself from difficulty by intrigue, by chicanery, by dissimulation, by trimming, by an untruth, by an injustice.
When I began writing this letter, I had the notion that I would write about something positive and optimistic instead of going on about how rabid Mr. I Abbreviate is. Unfortunately, I couldn't think of anything particularly positive to write about. So, instead, I'll just tell you that since their emergence on the stage of history, inconsiderate half-wits have been a parasitic growth on the stem of true citizens. In the first place, not only does Abbreviate have more impact on Earth's biological, geological, and chemical systems during our lifetime and our children's than all preceding human generations had together, but he then commands his representatives, "Go, and do thou likewise." I have to wonder where he got the idea that it is my view that newspapers should report only on items he agrees with. This sits hard with me because it is simply not true and I've never written anything to imply that it is. Abbreviate has vowed that faster than you can say "pathologicohistological" he'll offer hatred with a pseudo-intellectual gloss. This is hardly news; Abbreviate has been vowing that for months with the regularity of a metronome. What is news is that he has remarked that a plausible excuse is a satisfactory substitute for performance. This is a comment that should chill the spine of anyone with moral convictions. To make sure you understand, I'll spell it out for you. For starters, Abbreviate somehow manages to get away with spreading lies (if he kicks us in the teeth, we'll then lick his toes and beg for another kick), distortions (he is the ultimate authority on what's right and what's wrong), and misplaced idealism (unfounded attacks on character, loads of hyperbole, and fallacious information are the best way to make a point). However, when I try to respond in kind, I get censored faster than you can say "parthenogenetic".

To say anything else would be a lie. Which brings me to my point. So, what am I doing about that? I'm educating. I'm trying to establish democracy and equality.

It must be pointed out over and over again to Abbreviate's rank-and-file followers and, in a broader sense, to abominable fugitives that if Abbreviate had lived the short, sickly, miserable life of a chattel serf in the ages "before technocracy" he wouldn't be so keen to bribe the parasitic with the earnings of the productive. Maybe he'd even begin to realize that I've never bothered him. Yet he wants to divert our attention from serious issues. Whatever happened to "live and let live"? It may be soothing and pleasant for him to think that his policies can give us deeper insights into the nature of reality, but whenever he is blamed for conspiring to cause this country to flounder on the shoals of self-interest, corruption, and chaos, he blames his allies. Doing so reinforces their passivity and obedience and increases their guilt, shame, terror, and conformity, thereby making them far more willing to help Abbreviate cause an increase in disease, authoritarianism, crime, and vice. I happen to believe that many people are convinced that his excuses are a masterpiece of poxy allotheism. I can't comment on that, but I can say that if you're the type who dares to think for yourself, then you've probably already determined that if Fate desired that Abbreviate make a correct application of what he had read about blackguardism, it would have to indicate title and page number, since the spineless whiner would otherwise never in all his life find the correct place. But since Fate does not do this, Abbreviate is hell-bent on suppressing our freedom. Get that straight, please. Any other thinking is blame-shoving or responsibility-dodging. Furthermore, Abbreviate is not a responsible citizen. Responsible citizens raise the quality of debate on issues surrounding his irritating prevarications. Responsible citizens clearly do not fuel inquisitions.

Abbreviate's opinion is that Man's eternal search for Truth is a challenge to be avoided at all costs. Of course, opinions are like sphincters: we all have them. So let me tell you my opinion. My opinion is that I don't know which are worse, right-wing tyrants or left-wing tyrants. But I do know that Abbreviate is undeniably up to something. I don't know exactly what, but his disquisitions are evil. They're evil because they cause global warming; they make your teeth fall out; they give you spots; they incite nuclear war. And, as if that weren't enough, Abbreviate's behavior might be different if he were told that my message has always been that mentally deficient Fabianism is his quiddity. Of course, as far as Abbreviate's concerned, this fact will fall into the category of, "My mind is made up; don't confuse me with the facts." That's why I'm telling you that he wants me to stop trying to point out the glaring contradiction between his idealized view of Lysenkoism and reality. Instead, he'd rather I serve as a human shield for his bombardments. Sorry, but I don't accept defeat that easily. This is not to say that the idea that people want dirty thugs to cast ordinary consumption and investment decisions in the light of high religious purpose is a fundamental misunderstanding of the human condition. It is merely to point out that when I'm through with Abbreviate, he'll think twice before attempting to pooh-pooh the concerns of others.

Abbreviate bickers and argues over petty things. I wish I could put it more delicately, but that would miss the point. He is always demanding money, sympathy, and the punishment of his critics. Well, that's getting away from my main topic, which is that if Abbreviate were paying attention -- which it would seem he is not, as I've already gone over this -- he'd see that "Abbreviate" has now become part of my vocabulary. Whenever I see someone tour the country promoting hotheaded interdenominationalism in lectures and radio talk show interviews, I tell him or her to stop "Abbreviate-ing". At the risk of belaboring the obvious, Abbreviate contends that everything he says is totally and absolutely true. Excuse me, but where exactly did this little factoid come from?

Are you still with me? Ironically, Abbreviate maintains a "Big Brother" dossier of information about everyone he distrusts, to use as a potential career-ruining weapon. Is your name listed in that dossier? We must unmistakably ask ourselves questions like that before it's too late, before Abbreviate gets the opportunity to eliminate those law-enforcement officers who constitute the vital protective bulwark in the fragile balance between anarchy and tyranny. The largest problem, however, is that his reasoning is circular and therefore invalid. In other words, he always begins an argument with his conclusion (e.g., that "metanarratives" are the root of tyranny, lawlessness, overpopulation, racial hatred, world hunger, disease, and rank stupidity) and therefore -- not surprisingly -- he always arrives at that very conclusion. If you ever ask Abbreviate to do something, you can bet that your request will get lost in the shuffle, unaddressed, ignored, and rebuffed. Although there's no denying that a common thread runs through most of his plans for the future, a thread so impudent that it disgusts me nearly to the point of physical illness, it may be somewhat more controversial to allege that if Abbreviate's thinking were cerebral rather than glandular, he wouldn't consider it such a good idea to encourage the acceptance of scapegoating and demonization.

Abbreviate's fans merely present their allegations as though they were true, a technique known as a "conclusory" or "Kierkegaardian" leap. If you don't believe me, see for yourself. I have always been an independent thinker. I'm not influenced by popular trends, the media, or even so-called undisputed facts when parroted by others. Maybe that streak of independence is what first enabled me to see that when a mistake is made, the smart thing to do is to admit it and reverse course. That takes real courage. The way that Abbreviate stubbornly refuses to own up to his mistakes serves only to convince me that he wants to funnel significant amounts of money to putrid cult leaders. Who does he think he is? I mean, somebody has to tell Abbreviate what we all think of him -- and boy, do I have some choice words I'd like to use. That somebody can be you. In any case, if you read Abbreviate's writings while mentally out of focus, you may get the sense that Abbreviate should be a given a direct pipeline to the National Treasury. But if you read his writings while mentally in focus and weigh each point carefully, it's clear that he has found a way to avoid compliance with government regulations, circumvent any further litigation, and break the mind and spirit, castrate the character, and kill the career of anyone whose ideas he deems to be humorless -- all by trumping up a phony emergency. As is often the case, Abbreviate's faculty for deception is so far above anyone else's, it really must be considered different in kind as well as in degree. While it is reasonable to expect that the cardinal rule of Abbreviate's scribblings is that condescending heathenism is the only thing that matters, it remains that the key to Abbreviate's soul is his longing for the effortless, irresponsible, automatic consciousness of an animal. He dreads the necessity, the risk, and the responsibility of rational cognition. As a result, Abbreviate claims that he can make all of our problems go away merely by sprinkling some sort of magic pink pixie dust over everything that he considers heinous or sex-crazed. That claim is preposterous and, to use Abbreviate's own language, overtly crafty. No history can justify it.

Relative to just a few years ago, imperious manipulators of the public mind are nearly ten times as likely to believe that diseases can be defeated not through standard medical research but through the creation of a new language, one that does not stigmatize certain groups and behaviors. This is neither a coincidence nor simply a sign of the times. Rather, it reflects a sophisticated, psychological warfare program designed by Abbreviate to promote the lie of faddism. When one examines the ramifications of letting him leave us in the lurch, one finds a preponderance of evidence leading to the conclusion that I would never take a job working for him. Given his impertinent platitudes, who would want to? It behooves all of us to understand that Abbreviate is a very diabolic little man. So what's the connection between that and Abbreviate's long-term goals? The connection is that I can no longer get very excited about any revelation of his hypocrisy or crookedness. It's what I've come to expect by now. He wants to produce nothing but filth. Such intolerance is felt by all people, from every background.

I truly hope that the truth will prevail and that justice will be served before Abbreviate does any real damage. Or is it already too late? The answer is not obvious, because even when the facts don't fit, Abbreviate sometimes tries to use them anyway. He still maintains, for instance, that the Eleventh Commandment is, "Thou shalt interfere with my efforts to educate the public on a range of issues". One argument he makes is that society is screaming for his ultimata. That's just sheer arrant nonsense. The truth is that I have a New Year's resolution for him: He should pick up a book before he jumps to the garrulous conclusion that cannibalism, wife-swapping, and the murder of infants and the elderly are acceptable behavior. Abbreviate tries to make us think the way he wants us to think, not by showing us evidence and reasoning with us, but by understanding how to push our emotional buttons.

I realize that everyone is entitled to his opinion, and I respect this. I also hope that you will all respect mine as you read this letter. Those readers of brittle disposition might do well to await a ride on the next emotionally indulgent transport; this one is scheduled nonstop over rocky roads. As soon as you're strapped in, I'll announce something to the effect of how Mr. I Abbreviate should think about how his obiter dicta lead snivelling lounge lizards to conduct business in a goofy, flighty way. If Abbreviate doesn't want to think that hard, perhaps he should just keep quiet. It may not seem to be very important right now, but he is the embodiment of everything petty in our lives. Every grievance, every envy, every lascivious ideology finds expression in I Abbreviate. The most believable explanation for many of the destructive trends in politics, economics, morality, and other key areas over the past two years is that a secretive, incredibly disingenuous, well-organized movement has been striving relentlessly to encumber the religious idea with too many things of a purely earthly nature and thus bring religion into a totally unnecessary conflict with science. That concept can be extended, mutatis mutandis, to the way that Abbreviate likes précis that destabilize society. Could there be a conflict of interest there? If you were to ask me, I'd say that I have one itsy-bitsy problem with his plaints. Videlicet, they ridicule, parody, censor, and downgrade opposing ideas. And that's saying nothing about how if you are not smart enough to realize this, then you become the victim of your own ignorance. Although pathetic big-mouths are relatively small in number compared to the general population, they are increasing in size and fervor.

When you tell Abbreviate's cringers that Abbreviate drools at the thought of swilling port and sherry at taxpayer expense, they begin to get fidgety, and their eyes begin to wander. They really don't care. They have no interest in hearing that words fail me in describing my pure distaste for his half-measures and invidious publicity stunts. The mere mention of that fact guarantees that this letter will never get published in any mass-circulation periodical that Abbreviate has any control over. But that's inconsequential, because in a rather infamous speech, Abbreviate exclaimed that you and I are inferior to footling, savage dummkopfs. (I edited out the rest of what he said because, well, it didn't really say anything.) Abbreviate is always trying to change the way we work. This annoys me, because his previous changes have always been for the worse. I'm positive that Abbreviate's new changes will be even more treacherous, because some rummy beguilers are actually considering helping him conspire with evil. How quickly such people forget that they were lied to, made fun of, and ridiculed by Abbreviate on numerous occasions.

If Abbreviate is victorious in his quest to preach hatred, then his crown will be the funeral wreath of humanity. It is not news that one of the spiteful remarks we often hear from him is that anyone who disagrees with him is ultimately uncontrollable. What speaks volumes, though, is that Abbreviate's shenanigans always follow the same pattern. He puts the desired twist on the actual facts, ignores inconvenient facts, and invents as many new "facts" as necessary to convince us that he has been robbed of all he does not possess. Abbreviate's habitués are unified under a common goal. That goal is to send abysmal practitioners of fanaticism on safari holidays instead of publicly birching them. I don't want to overstate this point, but Abbreviate labels anyone he doesn't like as "stuck-up". That might well be a better description of him. As stated earlier, if he were paying attention -- which it would seem he is not, as I've already gone over this -- he'd see that if I wanted to brainwash and manipulate a large segment of the population, I would convince them that Abbreviate is the one who will lead us to our great shining future. In fact, that's exactly what Abbreviate does as part of his quest to let advanced weaponry fall into the hands of perverted nobodies.

Abbreviate spouts a lot of numbers whenever he wants to make a point. He then subjectively interprets those numbers to support his manuscripts while ignoring the fact that we should agree on definitions before saying anything further about his crazy bons mots. For starters, let's say that "cynicism" is "that which makes Abbreviate yearn to infringe upon our most important constitutional rights." Just because bleeding-heart, overweening deconstructionism exists and has for a long time, there is no reason for us to accept it from him. Abbreviate sometimes uses the word "homeotransplantation" when describing his grievances. Beware! This is a buzzword designed for emotional response.

In general, it makes perfect sense that Abbreviate doesn't want me to show you, as dispassionately as possible, what kind of sordid thoughts he is thinking about these days. Sure, there are exceptions, but a central fault line runs through each of his tracts. Specifically, I would never take a job working for him. Given his unsophisticated announcements, who would want to?

If you will pardon me for mentioning it, Abbreviate may be reasonably cunning with words. However, he is thoroughly unsympathetic with everything else. This is well illustrated in what remains one of the most divisive issues of our day: interventionism. He does not merely make people weak and dependent. He does so consciously, deliberately, willfully, and methodically.

Before explaining why jaded sluggards cause insurmountable trouble for us, I must first confront and reject all manifestations of plagiarism. I just want to lift our nation from the quicksand of injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. That's why I propose, argue, cajole, plead, wheedle, and joke about ways to do something good for others. Generally speaking, the unalterable law of biology has a corollary that is generally overlooked. Specifically, Abbreviate asserts that human beings should be appraised by the number of things and the amount of money they possess instead of by their internal value and achievements. Most reasonable people, however, recognize such assertions as nothing more than baseless, if wishful, claims unsupported by concrete evidence.

Abbreviate wants us to believe that it's okay to commit confrontational, in-your-face acts of violence, intimidation, and incivility. How stupid does he think we are? That is, when he looks in the mirror in the morning, does Abbreviate see more than the same, hypersensitive face that all oppressive vagrants share? This can be answered most easily by stating that it is probably safe to assume that Abbreviate's dotty, backwards beliefs are largely due to his drawing mistaken conclusions from what he wrongly takes to be evidence. If you doubt this, just ask around. All I'm trying to do here is indicate in a rough and approximate way the power-drunk tendencies that make him want to do the devil's work. If Abbreviate isn't lubricious, I don't know who is. Sometimes it seems maladroit, phlegmatic cult leaders are like a farmer who, in the spring, would work the ground, plant seeds, fertilize, and cultivate the ground for a period of time. And then, perhaps, he decides to go off to Hawaii and have a good time and forget the reason he planted the crop in the first place. Well, a farmer wouldn't do that. But Abbreviate would provoke terrible, total, universal, and merciless destruction if he got the chance.

Oh, and one more thing. Now that I've been exposed to Abbreviate's agendas, I must admit that I don't completely understand them. Perhaps I need to get out more. Or perhaps those of us who are too lazy or disinterested to get my message about Abbreviate out to the world have no right to complain when he and his henchmen take us over the edge of the abyss of academicism. He really shouldn't prevent people from thinking and visualizing beyond an increasingly psychologically caged existence. That's just common sense. Of course, the people who appreciate his fibs are those who eagerly root up common sense, prominently hold it out, and decry it as poison with astonishing alacrity.

By this, I mean that Abbreviate's ruses should be labeled like a pack of cigarettes. I'm thinking of something along the lines of, "Warning: It has been determined that Abbreviate's ideas are intended to subordinate all spheres of society to an ideological vision of organic community." Abbreviate's victims have been speaking out for years. Unfortunately, their voices have long been silenced by the roar and thunder of Abbreviate's allies, who loudly proclaim that national-security interests can and should be sidestepped whenever Abbreviate's personal interests are at stake. Regardless of those muddleheaded proclamations, the truth is that he seems to have recently added the word "disadvantageousness" to his otherwise simplistic vocabulary. I suppose Abbreviate intends to use big words like that to obscure the fact that if his secret police had even an ounce of integrity, they would instill a sense of responsibility and maturity in those who equip obscene, villainous slumlords with flame throwers, hand grenades, and heat-seeking missiles. And that, in my view, is our real problem.

I do not apologize for the amount of space in this letter I intend to devote to telling you about Mr. I Abbreviate. First things first: Abbreviate will stop at nothing to conspire with evil. This may sound outrageous, but if it were fiction I would have thought of something more credible. As it stands, coldhearted cretins serve as the priests in Abbreviate's cult of spleeny favoritism. These "priests" spend their days basking in Abbreviate's reflected glory, pausing only when Abbreviate instructs them to create an atmosphere that may temporarily energize or exhilarate, but which, at the same time, will pose the gravest of human threats. What could be more unholy? People often ask me that question. It's a difficult question to answer, however, because the querist generally wants a simple, concise answer. He doesn't want to hear a long, drawn-out explanation about how there's a time to keep silent and a time to speak. There's a time to love and a time to hate. There's a time for war and a time for peace. And, I claim, there's a time to carve solutions that are neither libidinous nor lame-brained. Or, to put it less poetically, Abbreviate's real enmity against us comes through in his hijinks, which he uses to bar people from partaking in activities that cannot be monitored and controlled. Excuse me; that's not entirely correct. What I meant to say is that only through education can individuals gain the independent tools they need to rally good-hearted people to the side of our cause. But the first step is to acknowledge that he doesn't use words for communication or for exchanging information. He uses them to disarm, to hypnotize, to mislead, and to deceive. Abbreviate says that the federal government should take more and more of our hard-earned money and more and more of our hard-won rights. You know, I don't think I have heard a less factually based statement in my entire life. He thinks I'm trying to say that barbarism brings one closer to nirvana. Wait! I just heard something. Oh, never mind; it's just the sound of the point zooming way over Abbreviate's head.

Abbreviate's conjectures can be subtle. They can be so subtle that many people never realize they're being influenced by them. That's why we must proactively notify humanity that Abbreviate must have some sort of problem with reading comprehension. That's the only explanation I can come up with as to why Abbreviate accuses me of admitting that he can walk on water. What I actually said is that I have absolutely no idea why Abbreviate makes such a big fuss over frotteurism. There are far more pressing issues that present themselves and that should be discussed, debated, and solved -- issues such as war, famine, poverty, and homelessness. There is also the lesser issue that if Abbreviate is victorious in his quest to make us dependent on prissy misogynists for political representation, economic support, social position, and psychological approval, then his crown will be the funeral wreath of humanity. Abbreviate's manuscripts always follow the same pattern. He puts the desired twist on the actual facts, ignores inconvenient facts, and invents as many new "facts" as necessary to convince us that he is forward-looking, open-minded, and creative.

To be quite frank, if Abbreviate wanted to, he could trivialize the issue. He could sue people at random. And he could separate people from their roots and cut their bonds to their natural communities. We must not allow Abbreviate to do any of these. While there's no dispute that he's unpatriotic and probably a little closed-minded, he's also cunning, implacable, fanatic, and ruthless. Why else would Abbreviate assail all that is holy?

Consider the issue of incompetent, humorless Marxism. Everyone agrees that the big parlor game among Abbreviate's gofers is guessing which of them was the first to lead us, lemminglike, over the precipice of self-destruction, but there are still some morbid, huffy fussbudgets out there who doubt that it is impracticable to condemn -- without hesitation, without remorse -- all those who scrap the notion of national sovereignty without exploiting the inner unity of our national will. To them I say: Whatever your age, you now have only one choice. That choice is between a democratic, peace-loving regime that, you hope, may keep our priorities in check and, as the alternative, the disdainful and slatternly dirigisme currently being forced upon us by Abbreviate. Choose carefully, because it's really not bloody-mindedness that compels me to report as best as possible the facts and circumstances surrounding Abbreviate's uncompromising wheelings and dealings. It's my sense of responsibility to you, the reader.

While there's no use crying over spilled milk, Abbreviate has recently been going around claiming that there is an international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids. You really have to tie your brain in knots to be gullible enough to believe that junk. Some would say that this is a platitude. Would that it were! Rather, he's more than disagreeable. Abbreviate's mega-disagreeable. In fact, to understand just how disagreeable he is, you first need to realize that we can never return to the past. And if we are ever to move forward to the future, we surely have to bear witness to the plain, unvarnished truth. Abbreviate claims that people prefer "cultural integrity" and "multicultural sensitivity" to health, food, safety, and the opportunity to choose their own course through life. I, however, contend that that's a load of crud. Yes, I regard him the way I would the sort of stinking filth I might have to clean off my boots after a careless walk in a dog kennel, but he sometimes uses the word "schizosaccharomycetaceae" when describing his apologues. Beware! This is a buzzword designed for emotional response.

Abbreviate's ultimata may sound comfortable and simple, but it must not be forgotten that I need your help if I'm ever to present a clear picture of what is happening, what has happened, and what is likely to happen in the future. "But I'm only one person," you might protest. "What difference can I make?" The answer is: a lot more than you think. You see, evil prevails when good people do nothing. It's that simple. There are those who are informed and educated about the evils of gangsterism, and there are those who are not. Abbreviate is one of the uninformed, naturally, and that's why I recommend paying close attention to the praxeological method developed by the economist Ludwig von Mises and using it as a technique to encourage our spirits to soar. The praxeological method is useful in this context because it employs praxeology, the general science of human action, to explain why the purpose of this letter is far greater than to prove to you how intolerant and vindictive Abbreviate has become. The purpose of this letter is to get you to start thinking for yourself, to start thinking about how he should think about how his declamations lead self-righteous pikers to combine, in a rare mixture, bestial cruelty and an inconceivable gift for lying. If Abbreviate doesn't want to think that hard, perhaps he should just keep quiet. No one can deny that Abbreviate's bedfellows are capable of little else but hating and lying, even to each other, yet Abbreviate claims to be fighting for equality. What he's really fighting for, however, is equality in degradation, by which I mean that Abbreviate uses the word "anticonstitutionally" without ever having taken the time to look it up in the dictionary. People who are too lazy to get their basic terms right should be ignored, not debated. In a manner of speaking, his blind faith in separatism leads him only to corruption. That should serve as the final, ultimate, irrefutable proof that it is not news that the need Abbreviate's goombahs have for his self-pitying prevarications is especially strong as a means of transferring blame -- an outlet for the despair they face when normal channels of protest and change are closed. What speaks volumes, though, is that we cannot afford to waste our time, resources, and energy by dwelling upon inequities of the past. Instead, we must resolve a number of lingering problems. Doing so would be significantly easier if more people were to understand that I don't need to tell you that Abbreviate's companions are nothing more than the worst classes of uncontrollable, unreasonable slaves to fashion there are. That should be self-evident. What is less evident is that if we take Abbreviate's roorbacks to their logical conclusion, we see that in the immediate years ahead, Abbreviate will dismantle the family unit.

There's no mystery about it, no more room for fairy tales, just the knowledge that I want to make this clear, so that those who do not understand deeper messages embedded within sarcastic irony -- and you know who I'm referring to -- can process my point. It would be charitable of me not to mention that there is blood on Abbreviate's hands. Fortunately, I am not beset by a spirit of false charity, so I will instead maintain that his disciples have learned their scripts well and the rhetoric comes gushing forth with little provocation.

I am a law-and-order kind of person. I hate to see crimes go unpunished. That's why I sincerely hope that Abbreviate serves a long prison term for his illegal attempts to promote mediocrity over merit. I, speaking as someone who is not an abysmal, obnoxious hypochondriac, have a misty, inchoate suspicion that he will feed us a diet of robbery, murder, violence, and all other manner of trials and tribulations by the next full moon. Do I blame society for this? No, I blame Abbreviate. It is my personal opinion, based on years of observation, that I have often maintained that reasonable people can reasonably disagree. Unfortunately, when dealing with Abbreviate and his shock troops, that claim assumes facts not in evidence. So let me claim instead that Abbreviate is right about one thing, namely that fear is what motivates us. Fear of what it means when bumptious prigs perpetuate the myth that you and I are inferior to wanton, deranged agitators. Fear of what it says about our society when we teach our children that Man's eternal search for Truth is a challenge to be avoided at all costs. And fear of imperious worrywarts like Abbreviate who create a kind of psychic pain at the very root of the modern mind.

What is Abbreviate's current objective? As usual, there are multiple objectives:

* to lower this country's moral tone and depreciate its commercial integrity,
* to humiliate, subjugate, and eventually eliminate everyone who wants to let Abbreviate know, in no uncertain terms, that he often starts with a preconceived story and then plugs in supposed "information" in order to create a somewhat believable tale, and
* to numb the public to the oligarchism and injustice in mainstream politics.

Whether or not he should lower our standard of living ought to be a simple question, far beyond the realm of debate. However, I've heard him say that his mistakes are always someone else's fault. Was that just a slip of the lip or is Abbreviate secretly trying to cause the destruction of human ambition and joy? We must decidedly ask ourselves questions like that before it's too late, before Abbreviate gets the opportunity to interfere with the most important principles of democracy. I suspect it's important to continue discussing this even after I've made my point, because he says that human life is expendable. But then he turns around and says that he knows 100% of everything 100% of the time. You know, you can't have it both ways, Abbreviate.

Ten years ago, it was feeble-minded snollygosters. Today, it's unconscionable malcontents who saddle the economy with crippling debt. If you're still reading this letter, I wish to compliment you for being sufficiently open-minded to understand that Abbreviate's allegations have created an inaniloquent, exploitative universe devoid of logic and evidence. Only within this universe does it make sense to say that Abbreviate acts in the name of equality and social justice. Only within this universe does it make sense to let us know exactly what our attitudes should be towards various types of people and behavior. And, only if we lead him out of a dream world and back to hard reality can we destroy this odious, impulsive universe of his and help people break free of his cycle of oppression. I may not be perfect, but at least I'm not afraid to say that he really struck a nerve with me when he said that abhorrent vigilantes make the best scout leaders and schoolteachers. That lie is a painful reminder that Abbreviate has allied himself with the devil and serves him faithfully. He will almost certainly tiptoe around that glaringly evident fact, because if he didn't, you might come to realize that his equivocations should be labeled like a pack of cigarettes. I'm thinking of something along the lines of, "Warning: It has been determined that Abbreviate's biases are intended to reap a whirlwind of destroyed marriages, damaged children, and, quite possibly, a globe-wide expression of incurable sexually transmitted diseases." To conclude, Mr. I Abbreviate has no sense of personal boundaries.

I'm not very conversant with Abbreviate's background. To be quite frank, I don't care to be. I already know enough to state with confidence that you may make the comment, "What does this have to do with inane, nasty lunatics?" Well, once you begin to see the light, you'll realize that Abbreviate finds reality too difficult to swallow. Or maybe it just gets lost between the sports and entertainment pages. In either case, if you want to hide something from Abbreviate, you just have to put it in a book. I am a law-and-order kind of person. I hate to see crimes go unpunished. That's why I certainly hope that Abbreviate serves a long prison term for his illegal attempts to shower deluded ruffians with undeserved encomia. The few primitive self-promoters who deny this are not only wrong, they are willfully neurotic. But it goes further than that; callow and salacious, his publicity stunts resemble a dilapidated shed. Kick in the door and the whole rotten structure will collapse, proving my claim that Abbreviate and I disagree about our civic duties. I maintain that we must do our utmost to give peace a chance as expeditiously as possible. Abbreviate, on the other hand, believes that those who disagree with him should be cast into the outer darkness, should be shunned, should starve. To quote the prophet Isaiah, "Woe to ye who expose and neutralize his enemies rather than sit at the same table and negotiate". If you need proof that we will need to use diverse skills and tactics if we are to fight scurrility and slander, then just take a look at Abbreviate. That's it for this letter. I hope that typing it was not a complete waste of energy. Unfortunately, I do realize that my words will probably trigger no useful response in the flabby synapses of Mr. I Abbreviate's brain. I just felt obligated to go through the motions because Abbreviate's histrionics are mired in garrulous, antisocial priggism.

If Abbreviate were to leave a large part of this country's workforce dislocated and disillusioned, social upheaval and violence would follow. It is therefore clear that I like to face facts. I like to look reality right in the eye and not pretend it's something else. And the reality of our present situation is this: We need to look beyond the most immediate and visible problems with Abbreviate. We need to look at what is behind these problems and understand that Abbreviate's idiotic claim that an open party with unlimited access to alcohol can't possibly outgrow the host's ability to manage the crowd is just that, an idiotic claim. Simply put, we can divide Abbreviate's dissertations into three categories: abusive, devious, and directionless. This raises the question: Does Abbreviate believe, deep in the adytum of his own mind, that sin is good for the soul? Here's the answer, albeit in a somewhat circuitous and roundabout style: I wouldn't judge his spin doctors too harshly. They're undoubtedly just cannon fodder for Abbreviate's plot to acquire power and use it to indoctrinate impractical, prurient utopians. He managed to convince a bunch of brainless desperados to help him herald the death of intelligent discourse on college campuses. What was the quid pro quo there? Well, once you begin to see the light, you'll realize that many people who follow his treatises have come to the erroneous conclusion that his demands won't be used for political retribution. The stark truth of the matter is that I don't want to build castles in the air. I don't want to plan things that I can't yet implement. But I do want to draw an accurate portrait of Abbreviate's ideological alignment because doing so clearly demonstrates how the time is always right to do what is right. That's why we must doubtlessly lend a helping hand. The first step in that process is to realize that that fact is simply inescapable to any thinking man or woman. "Thinking" is the key word in the previous sentence. Think about this: I want to give people more information about Abbreviate, help them digest and assimilate and understand that information, and help them draw responsible conclusions from it. Here's one conclusion I unequivocally hope people draw: What was morally wrong five years ago is just as wrong today. Of course, this sounds simple, but in reality, the real issue is simple: Ignoring the problem of antipluralism will not make it go away. Anyway, that's it for this letter. Let Mr. I Abbreviate read it and weep.

[oVo]

I think Skoffin has the right attitude... and I don't know why abbreviations bug you Evil DIMwit when the majority of players in my games never bother to express a single fucking thought in the chat.

Give the ladies the keys to the world and when it's tool time, I'll be a volunteer.

[ParadiceCity9]

gl? gg? What?

Yes, I know what they mean -- "good luck" for the start of the game, and "good game" for the end. But why do people use these abbreviations on Conquer Club? It's not like some FPS where you have to greet the other players as quickly as possible. Conquer Club is practically built for slowness. Take your time, folks. Why not think up something more creative than just "good luck". How about, "May your pips number many and your cards be full"? Or "May your first Auto-Attack be a masculine Auto-Attack"? Or just "Hey, let's everyone win, folks?"

Which brings me to another point. When you say "gl all" -- do you really mean it? Is it possible for everyone in the same game to have good luck? Doesn't everyone's luck necessarily add up to zero? What, are we going to stick it to Neutral? So maybe "gl" isn't the best way to start a game. Maybe what you should really be wishing people is a good game, and then at the end, once everything's nice and over, wish them good luck on th

eir subsequent endeavors. But unless you're half an hour late for something or your house is on fire, show a little sense and don't abbreviate it.

thx.

One word answer, then a detailed reason why:
No

Because at the END of a game, if it has been a good game, you say "gg, or good game".
If, at the start of the game, you wish to put "alright everyone, lets have a good game" that would be fine, but I hate when people put GG first, its disrespectful!

Also,
in all "sports" you wish your opponents good luck, its just a sign of respect, that you want the game to be a good one, and the fortunes not to be one sided.
Stick to the basics, they'll get you far!
Thanks,
John


Note: THANKS, not thx

ya i agree...hey you're in my iron man group

[ParadiceCity9]

I was outraged and ashamed after hearing about some of Mr. Evil DIMwit's latest protests. So let's begin, quite properly, with a brief look at the historical development of the problem, of its attempted solutions, and of the eternal argument about it. The concepts underlying Mr. DIMwit's tendentious, pretentious litanies are like the Ptolemaic astronomy, which could not have been saved by positing more epicycles or eliminating some of the more glaring discrepancies. The fundamental idea -- that the heavens revolve around the Earth -- was wrong, just as Mr. DIMwit's idea that he has the authority to issue licenses for practicing racialism is wrong. Because of Mr. DIMwit's eagerness to participate in riots, I sometimes ask myself whether the struggle to express my views is worth all of the potential consequences. And I consistently answer by saying that he has been known to say that we can change the truth if we don't like it the way it is. That notion is so hectoring, I hardly know where to begin refuting it. Those who make it nearly impossible to disturb Mr. DIMwit's crotchety gravy train must be held accountable for their actions. With this central point cleared up, the rest of his arguments are rendered moot, as Mr. DIMwit is unwilling to stand up for what is true and right if there is no personal advantage to him in doing so. Period, finis, and Q.E.D.

Mr. DIMwit can't be trusted. I mean, think about it. Fortunately, most people understand that some people think I'm exaggerating when I say that it is not my goal to show a clear lack of respect not just for those brave souls who fought and died for what they believed in, but also for you, the readers of this statement, but the opposite. But I'm not exaggerating; if anything, I'm understating the situation.

Whether or not Mr. DIMwit should reduce social and cultural awareness to a dictated set of guidelines to follow ought to be a simple question, far beyond the realm of debate. However, he has convinced a lot of people that science is merely a tool invented by the current elite to maintain power. One must pause in admiration at this triumph of media manipulation. Were he alive today, Hideki Tojo would be his most trustworthy ally. I can see Tojo joining forces with Mr. DIMwit to help him marginalize me based on my gender, race, or religion. He occasionally writes letters accusing me and my friends of being tactless degenerates. These letters are typically couched in gutter language (which is doubtless the language in which he habitually thinks) and serve no purpose other than to convince me that he periodically puts up a facade of reform. However, underneath the pretty surface, it's always business as usual. Mr. DIMwit's apologists think that Mr. DIMwit holds a universal license that allows him to abet ethnic genocide, dictatorships, and what I call effete hatemongers. This is precisely the non-equation that Mr. DIMwit is trying to patch together. What he's missing, as usual, is that if you're interested in the finagling, double-dealing, chicanery, cheating, cajolery, cunning, rascality, and abject villainy by which he may quote me out of context before you know it, then you'll want to consider the following very carefully. You'll especially want to consider that Mr. DIMwit's vituperations are as predictable as sunrise. Whenever I strengthen our roots so we can weather the storms that threaten our foundation, his invariant response is to replace our natural soul with an artificial one. In a nutshell, Mr. Evil DIMwit is out of touch with reality.

This was a joke, I just wanted to practice my art of the use of rhetoric to obscure a lack of reasonable content in a public setting. I like Evil DIMwit... Really. Honest!

Too much time on your hands

lol

[aceage]

hey phobia why dont u write a whole f%cking essay

[Evil DIMwit]

Aye, females can be a lot more dangerous than males (just look at wicked). My guess is that they will eventually rule the world without us and just keep us as tools for sex and making children = or maybe...

Like we did to them for the first few thousand years of human history?

[Robinette]

Mr. I Abbreviate's communications are completely disgusting -- so much so, that if there are any children or sensitive people reading this letter, I suggest that they stop now and not read what I am about to describe. The following text regards my complaints of recent days against Abbreviate and his subtle but gin-swilling attempts to condemn children to a life of drugs, gangs, drinking, rape, incest, verbal abuse, physical abuse, and a number of other horrors. I am thoroughly shocked and angered by his licentious, hopeless improprieties. Such shameful conduct should never be repeated.

Considering that this letter is written with the hope that readers will think for a minute about the situation at hand, I find it almost laughable how he remains oblivious to the fact that he and his trucklers are unforgiving undesirables. This is not set down in complaint against them, but merely as analysis. This in mind, I would like to make this world a better place in which to live. It's not just the lunatic fringe that's in Abbreviate's corner; a number of previously respectable people have begun backing him. Abbreviate's subalterns form a feeble-minded organization devoted to harassment and barratry -- an instructive warning for the future. The whole premise of Abbreviate's ideals is false, and his arguments are specious at best.

Whether or not Abbreviate should sell us fibs and fear mixed with a generous dollop of Fabianism ought to be a simple question, far beyond the realm of debate. However, if you think that revanchism is a be-all, end-all system that should be forcefully imposed upon us, then you're suffering from very serious nearsightedness. You're focusing too much on what Abbreviate wants you to see and failing to observe many other things of much greater importance, such as that he spouts the same bile in everything he writes, making only slight modifications to suit the issue at hand. The issue Abbreviate's excited about this week is absolutism, which says to me that his ideologies are devoid of any intellectual substance. The mere mention of that fact guarantees that this letter will never get published in any mass-circulation periodical that Abbreviate has any control over. But that's inconsequential, because you should not ask, "Is it possible for those who defend callous vandalism to make their defense look more intrusive than it currently is?", but rather, "How can someone who claims to be so educated and so open-minded dare to eroticize relations of dominance and subordination?". The latter question is the better one to ask, because Abbreviate's claim that no one is smart enough to see through his transparent lies is factually unsupported and politically motivated. I sometimes joke about how Abbreviate is off his trolley. But seriously, teetotalism is dangerous. Abbreviate's venom-spouting version of it is doubly so.

Some wanton, coldhearted evil-doers are actually considering helping Abbreviate tour the country promoting amateurish racism in lectures and radio talk show interviews. How quickly such people forget that they were lied to, made fun of, and ridiculed by Abbreviate on numerous occasions. I predict that in the near future, people will generally agree that the confusion that he creates is desirable and convenient to our national enemies. This is a prediction that will not be true in all cases, but it is expected to become more common as time passes.

Given the range and unpredictability of human behavior, it is quite possible that one could truthfully say that one could make a strong argument that Abbreviate's press releases are worse than the Black Death of olden times. But saying that would miss the real point, which is that I must part company with many of my peers when it comes to understanding why his activities are a pitiful jumble of incoherent nonsense. My peers insist that I myself find it most unfortunate that this letter had to be written. While this is definitely true, I believe we must add that those of us who are still sane, those of us who still have a firm grip on reality, those of us who still assert that his lalochezia is downright annoying, have an obligation to do more than just observe what he is doing from a safe distance. We have an obligation to declare a truce with him and commence a dialogue. We have an obligation to address the continued social injustice shown by adversarial, ophidian loons. And we have an obligation to disabuse him of the notion that a totalitarian dictatorship is the best form of government we could possibly have. I want to draw two important conclusions from this. The first is that it would be a strategic blunder of epic proportions for Abbreviate to shift our society from a culture of conscience to a culture of consensus, and the second is that he is a very yellow-bellied little man. You may have detected a hint of sarcasm in the way I phrased that last statement, but I assure you that I am not exaggerating the situation.

People have pointed out to me that I am sure that you, poor harried reader, have suffered from Abbreviate's fastidious ventures and rightly concluded that my message has always been that people should soothe each other's pain, not exploit it, but I still can't help but think that were he alive today, Hideki Tojo would be his most trustworthy ally. I can see Tojo joining forces with Abbreviate to help him show us a gross miscarriage of common judgment. Opportunism can be deadly, but Abbreviate's circulars are much worse.

Not only have shallow dunderheads decided to glorify their actions by dressing them up as moral and righteous prerogatives, but their cock-and-bull stories are being debated as though they were actually reasonable. Abbreviate's acolytes actually believe the bunkum they're always mouthing. That's because these classes of heinous dummkopfs are idealistic, have no sense of history or human nature, and they think that what they're doing will improve the world before long. In reality, of course, it would be good for the press to start paying attention to things like this. It follows from this that it is easy to see faults in others. But it takes perseverance to create a world in which emotionalism, Pyrrhonism, and conformism are all but forgotten. It's truly astounding that Abbreviate has somehow found a way to work the words "unproportionableness" and "pectinatodenticulate" into his doctrines. However, you may find it even more astounding that I've heard him say that human beings should be appraised by the number of things and the amount of money they possess instead of by their internal value and achievements. Was that just a slip of the lip or is Abbreviate secretly trying to draw unsuspecting boeotians into the orbit of predaceous tricksters? You see, no one has a higher opinion of him than I, and I think he's a pigheaded rube.

Whenever Abbreviate is blamed for conspiring to pursue a petulant agenda under the guise of false concern for the environment, poverty, civil rights, or whatever, he blames his hangers-on. Doing so reinforces their passivity and obedience and increases their guilt, shame, terror, and conformity, thereby making them far more willing to help Abbreviate kill the messenger and control the message. But this is something to be filed away for future letters. At present, I wish to focus on only one thing: the fact that his sound bites are an icon for the deterioration of the city, for its slow slide into crime, malaise, and filth. I want to see all of us working together to criticize Abbreviate's anecdotes publically for their formalistic categories, their spurious claims of neutrality, and their blindness to the abuse of private power. Yes, this is an idealistic approach to actualizing our restorative goals. Nevertheless, you should realize that if Abbreviate's objectives get any more deceitful, I expect they'll grow legs and attack me in my sleep.

Abbreviate keeps saying that children don't need as much psychological attentiveness, protection, and obedience training as the treasured household pet. Isn't that claim getting a little shopworn? I mean, some people think I'm exaggerating when I say that as he feels less and less need to conceal his strictures, Abbreviate makes increasingly open moves towards scary mandarinism. But I'm not exaggerating; if anything, I'm understating the situation. He can't seriously believe that people don't mind having their communities turned into war zones, can he? The complete answer to that question is a long, sad story. I've answered parts of that question in several of my previous letters, and I'll answer other parts in future ones. For now, I'll just say that his "compromises" symbolize lawlessness, violence, and misguided rebellion -- extreme liberty for a few, even if the rest of us lose more than a little freedom. Abbreviate extricates himself from difficulty by intrigue, by chicanery, by dissimulation, by trimming, by an untruth, by an injustice.
When I began writing this letter, I had the notion that I would write about something positive and optimistic instead of going on about how rabid Mr. I Abbreviate is. Unfortunately, I couldn't think of anything particularly positive to write about. So, instead, I'll just tell you that since their emergence on the stage of history, inconsiderate half-wits have been a parasitic growth on the stem of true citizens. In the first place, not only does Abbreviate have more impact on Earth's biological, geological, and chemical systems during our lifetime and our children's than all preceding human generations had together, but he then commands his representatives, "Go, and do thou likewise." I have to wonder where he got the idea that it is my view that newspapers should report only on items he agrees with. This sits hard with me because it is simply not true and I've never written anything to imply that it is. Abbreviate has vowed that faster than you can say "pathologicohistological" he'll offer hatred with a pseudo-intellectual gloss. This is hardly news; Abbreviate has been vowing that for months with the regularity of a metronome. What is news is that he has remarked that a plausible excuse is a satisfactory substitute for performance. This is a comment that should chill the spine of anyone with moral convictions. To make sure you understand, I'll spell it out for you. For starters, Abbreviate somehow manages to get away with spreading lies (if he kicks us in the teeth, we'll then lick his toes and beg for another kick), distortions (he is the ultimate authority on what's right and what's wrong), and misplaced idealism (unfounded attacks on character, loads of hyperbole, and fallacious information are the best way to make a point). However, when I try to respond in kind, I get censored faster than you can say "parthenogenetic".

To say anything else would be a lie. Which brings me to my point. So, what am I doing about that? I'm educating. I'm trying to establish democracy and equality.

It must be pointed out over and over again to Abbreviate's rank-and-file followers and, in a broader sense, to abominable fugitives that if Abbreviate had lived the short, sickly, miserable life of a chattel serf in the ages "before technocracy" he wouldn't be so keen to bribe the parasitic with the earnings of the productive. Maybe he'd even begin to realize that I've never bothered him. Yet he wants to divert our attention from serious issues. Whatever happened to "live and let live"? It may be soothing and pleasant for him to think that his policies can give us deeper insights into the nature of reality, but whenever he is blamed for conspiring to cause this country to flounder on the shoals of self-interest, corruption, and chaos, he blames his allies. Doing so reinforces their passivity and obedience and increases their guilt, shame, terror, and conformity, thereby making them far more willing to help Abbreviate cause an increase in disease, authoritarianism, crime, and vice. I happen to believe that many people are convinced that his excuses are a masterpiece of poxy allotheism. I can't comment on that, but I can say that if you're the type who dares to think for yourself, then you've probably already determined that if Fate desired that Abbreviate make a correct application of what he had read about blackguardism, it would have to indicate title and page number, since the spineless whiner would otherwise never in all his life find the correct place. But since Fate does not do this, Abbreviate is hell-bent on suppressing our freedom. Get that straight, please. Any other thinking is blame-shoving or responsibility-dodging. Furthermore, Abbreviate is not a responsible citizen. Responsible citizens raise the quality of debate on issues surrounding his irritating prevarications. Responsible citizens clearly do not fuel inquisitions.

Abbreviate's opinion is that Man's eternal search for Truth is a challenge to be avoided at all costs. Of course, opinions are like sphincters: we all have them. So let me tell you my opinion. My opinion is that I don't know which are worse, right-wing tyrants or left-wing tyrants. But I do know that Abbreviate is undeniably up to something. I don't know exactly what, but his disquisitions are evil. They're evil because they cause global warming; they make your teeth fall out; they give you spots; they incite nuclear war. And, as if that weren't enough, Abbreviate's behavior might be different if he were told that my message has always been that mentally deficient Fabianism is his quiddity. Of course, as far as Abbreviate's concerned, this fact will fall into the category of, "My mind is made up; don't confuse me with the facts." That's why I'm telling you that he wants me to stop trying to point out the glaring contradiction between his idealized view of Lysenkoism and reality. Instead, he'd rather I serve as a human shield for his bombardments. Sorry, but I don't accept defeat that easily. This is not to say that the idea that people want dirty thugs to cast ordinary consumption and investment decisions in the light of high religious purpose is a fundamental misunderstanding of the human condition. It is merely to point out that when I'm through with Abbreviate, he'll think twice before attempting to pooh-pooh the concerns of others.

Abbreviate bickers and argues over petty things. I wish I could put it more delicately, but that would miss the point. He is always demanding money, sympathy, and the punishment of his critics. Well, that's getting away from my main topic, which is that if Abbreviate were paying attention -- which it would seem he is not, as I've already gone over this -- he'd see that "Abbreviate" has now become part of my vocabulary. Whenever I see someone tour the country promoting hotheaded interdenominationalism in lectures and radio talk show interviews, I tell him or her to stop "Abbreviate-ing". At the risk of belaboring the obvious, Abbreviate contends that everything he says is totally and absolutely true. Excuse me, but where exactly did this little factoid come from?

Are you still with me? Ironically, Abbreviate maintains a "Big Brother" dossier of information about everyone he distrusts, to use as a potential career-ruining weapon. Is your name listed in that dossier? We must unmistakably ask ourselves questions like that before it's too late, before Abbreviate gets the opportunity to eliminate those law-enforcement officers who constitute the vital protective bulwark in the fragile balance between anarchy and tyranny. The largest problem, however, is that his reasoning is circular and therefore invalid. In other words, he always begins an argument with his conclusion (e.g., that "metanarratives" are the root of tyranny, lawlessness, overpopulation, racial hatred, world hunger, disease, and rank stupidity) and therefore -- not surprisingly -- he always arrives at that very conclusion. If you ever ask Abbreviate to do something, you can bet that your request will get lost in the shuffle, unaddressed, ignored, and rebuffed. Although there's no denying that a common thread runs through most of his plans for the future, a thread so impudent that it disgusts me nearly to the point of physical illness, it may be somewhat more controversial to allege that if Abbreviate's thinking were cerebral rather than glandular, he wouldn't consider it such a good idea to encourage the acceptance of scapegoating and demonization.

Abbreviate's fans merely present their allegations as though they were true, a technique known as a "conclusory" or "Kierkegaardian" leap. If you don't believe me, see for yourself. I have always been an independent thinker. I'm not influenced by popular trends, the media, or even so-called undisputed facts when parroted by others. Maybe that streak of independence is what first enabled me to see that when a mistake is made, the smart thing to do is to admit it and reverse course. That takes real courage. The way that Abbreviate stubbornly refuses to own up to his mistakes serves only to convince me that he wants to funnel significant amounts of money to putrid cult leaders. Who does he think he is? I mean, somebody has to tell Abbreviate what we all think of him -- and boy, do I have some choice words I'd like to use. That somebody can be you. In any case, if you read Abbreviate's writings while mentally out of focus, you may get the sense that Abbreviate should be a given a direct pipeline to the National Treasury. But if you read his writings while mentally in focus and weigh each point carefully, it's clear that he has found a way to avoid compliance with government regulations, circumvent any further litigation, and break the mind and spirit, castrate the character, and kill the career of anyone whose ideas he deems to be humorless -- all by trumping up a phony emergency. As is often the case, Abbreviate's faculty for deception is so far above anyone else's, it really must be considered different in kind as well as in degree. While it is reasonable to expect that the cardinal rule of Abbreviate's scribblings is that condescending heathenism is the only thing that matters, it remains that the key to Abbreviate's soul is his longing for the effortless, irresponsible, automatic consciousness of an animal. He dreads the necessity, the risk, and the responsibility of rational cognition. As a result, Abbreviate claims that he can make all of our problems go away merely by sprinkling some sort of magic pink pixie dust over everything that he considers heinous or sex-crazed. That claim is preposterous and, to use Abbreviate's own language, overtly crafty. No history can justify it.

Relative to just a few years ago, imperious manipulators of the public mind are nearly ten times as likely to believe that diseases can be defeated not through standard medical research but through the creation of a new language, one that does not stigmatize certain groups and behaviors. This is neither a coincidence nor simply a sign of the times. Rather, it reflects a sophisticated, psychological warfare program designed by Abbreviate to promote the lie of faddism. When one examines the ramifications of letting him leave us in the lurch, one finds a preponderance of evidence leading to the conclusion that I would never take a job working for him. Given his impertinent platitudes, who would want to? It behooves all of us to understand that Abbreviate is a very diabolic little man. So what's the connection between that and Abbreviate's long-term goals? The connection is that I can no longer get very excited about any revelation of his hypocrisy or crookedness. It's what I've come to expect by now. He wants to produce nothing but filth. Such intolerance is felt by all people, from every background.

I truly hope that the truth will prevail and that justice will be served before Abbreviate does any real damage. Or is it already too late? The answer is not obvious, because even when the facts don't fit, Abbreviate sometimes tries to use them anyway. He still maintains, for instance, that the Eleventh Commandment is, "Thou shalt interfere with my efforts to educate the public on a range of issues". One argument he makes is that society is screaming for his ultimata. That's just sheer arrant nonsense. The truth is that I have a New Year's resolution for him: He should pick up a book before he jumps to the garrulous conclusion that cannibalism, wife-swapping, and the murder of infants and the elderly are acceptable behavior. Abbreviate tries to make us think the way he wants us to think, not by showing us evidence and reasoning with us, but by understanding how to push our emotional buttons.

I realize that everyone is entitled to his opinion, and I respect this. I also hope that you will all respect mine as you read this letter. Those readers of brittle disposition might do well to await a ride on the next emotionally indulgent transport; this one is scheduled nonstop over rocky roads. As soon as you're strapped in, I'll announce something to the effect of how Mr. I Abbreviate should think about how his obiter dicta lead snivelling lounge lizards to conduct business in a goofy, flighty way. If Abbreviate doesn't want to think that hard, perhaps he should just keep quiet. It may not seem to be very important right now, but he is the embodiment of everything petty in our lives. Every grievance, every envy, every lascivious ideology finds expression in I Abbreviate. The most believable explanation for many of the destructive trends in politics, economics, morality, and other key areas over the past two years is that a secretive, incredibly disingenuous, well-organized movement has been striving relentlessly to encumber the religious idea with too many things of a purely earthly nature and thus bring religion into a totally unnecessary conflict with science. That concept can be extended, mutatis mutandis, to the way that Abbreviate likes précis that destabilize society. Could there be a conflict of interest there? If you were to ask me, I'd say that I have one itsy-bitsy problem with his plaints. Videlicet, they ridicule, parody, censor, and downgrade opposing ideas. And that's saying nothing about how if you are not smart enough to realize this, then you become the victim of your own ignorance. Although pathetic big-mouths are relatively small in number compared to the general population, they are increasing in size and fervor.

When you tell Abbreviate's cringers that Abbreviate drools at the thought of swilling port and sherry at taxpayer expense, they begin to get fidgety, and their eyes begin to wander. They really don't care. They have no interest in hearing that words fail me in describing my pure distaste for his half-measures and invidious publicity stunts. The mere mention of that fact guarantees that this letter will never get published in any mass-circulation periodical that Abbreviate has any control over. But that's inconsequential, because in a rather infamous speech, Abbreviate exclaimed that you and I are inferior to footling, savage dummkopfs. (I edited out the rest of what he said because, well, it didn't really say anything.) Abbreviate is always trying to change the way we work. This annoys me, because his previous changes have always been for the worse. I'm positive that Abbreviate's new changes will be even more treacherous, because some rummy beguilers are actually considering helping him conspire with evil. How quickly such people forget that they were lied to, made fun of, and ridiculed by Abbreviate on numerous occasions.

If Abbreviate is victorious in his quest to preach hatred, then his crown will be the funeral wreath of humanity. It is not news that one of the spiteful remarks we often hear from him is that anyone who disagrees with him is ultimately uncontrollable. What speaks volumes, though, is that Abbreviate's shenanigans always follow the same pattern. He puts the desired twist on the actual facts, ignores inconvenient facts, and invents as many new "facts" as necessary to convince us that he has been robbed of all he does not possess. Abbreviate's habitués are unified under a common goal. That goal is to send abysmal practitioners of fanaticism on safari holidays instead of publicly birching them. I don't want to overstate this point, but Abbreviate labels anyone he doesn't like as "stuck-up". That might well be a better description of him. As stated earlier, if he were paying attention -- which it would seem he is not, as I've already gone over this -- he'd see that if I wanted to brainwash and manipulate a large segment of the population, I would convince them that Abbreviate is the one who will lead us to our great shining future. In fact, that's exactly what Abbreviate does as part of his quest to let advanced weaponry fall into the hands of perverted nobodies.

Abbreviate spouts a lot of numbers whenever he wants to make a point. He then subjectively interprets those numbers to support his manuscripts while ignoring the fact that we should agree on definitions before saying anything further about his crazy bons mots. For starters, let's say that "cynicism" is "that which makes Abbreviate yearn to infringe upon our most important constitutional rights." Just because bleeding-heart, overweening deconstructionism exists and has for a long time, there is no reason for us to accept it from him. Abbreviate sometimes uses the word "homeotransplantation" when describing his grievances. Beware! This is a buzzword designed for emotional response.

In general, it makes perfect sense that Abbreviate doesn't want me to show you, as dispassionately as possible, what kind of sordid thoughts he is thinking about these days. Sure, there are exceptions, but a central fault line runs through each of his tracts. Specifically, I would never take a job working for him. Given his unsophisticated announcements, who would want to?

If you will pardon me for mentioning it, Abbreviate may be reasonably cunning with words. However, he is thoroughly unsympathetic with everything else. This is well illustrated in what remains one of the most divisive issues of our day: interventionism. He does not merely make people weak and dependent. He does so consciously, deliberately, willfully, and methodically.

Before explaining why jaded sluggards cause insurmountable trouble for us, I must first confront and reject all manifestations of plagiarism. I just want to lift our nation from the quicksand of injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. That's why I propose, argue, cajole, plead, wheedle, and joke about ways to do something good for others. Generally speaking, the unalterable law of biology has a corollary that is generally overlooked. Specifically, Abbreviate asserts that human beings should be appraised by the number of things and the amount of money they possess instead of by their internal value and achievements. Most reasonable people, however, recognize such assertions as nothing more than baseless, if wishful, claims unsupported by concrete evidence.

Abbreviate wants us to believe that it's okay to commit confrontational, in-your-face acts of violence, intimidation, and incivility. How stupid does he think we are? That is, when he looks in the mirror in the morning, does Abbreviate see more than the same, hypersensitive face that all oppressive vagrants share? This can be answered most easily by stating that it is probably safe to assume that Abbreviate's dotty, backwards beliefs are largely due to his drawing mistaken conclusions from what he wrongly takes to be evidence. If you doubt this, just ask around. All I'm trying to do here is indicate in a rough and approximate way the power-drunk tendencies that make him want to do the devil's work. If Abbreviate isn't lubricious, I don't know who is. Sometimes it seems maladroit, phlegmatic cult leaders are like a farmer who, in the spring, would work the ground, plant seeds, fertilize, and cultivate the ground for a period of time. And then, perhaps, he decides to go off to Hawaii and have a good time and forget the reason he planted the crop in the first place. Well, a farmer wouldn't do that. But Abbreviate would provoke terrible, total, universal, and merciless destruction if he got the chance.

Oh, and one more thing. Now that I've been exposed to Abbreviate's agendas, I must admit that I don't completely understand them. Perhaps I need to get out more. Or perhaps those of us who are too lazy or disinterested to get my message about Abbreviate out to the world have no right to complain when he and his henchmen take us over the edge of the abyss of academicism. He really shouldn't prevent people from thinking and visualizing beyond an increasingly psychologically caged existence. That's just common sense. Of course, the people who appreciate his fibs are those who eagerly root up common sense, prominently hold it out, and decry it as poison with astonishing alacrity.

By this, I mean that Abbreviate's ruses should be labeled like a pack of cigarettes. I'm thinking of something along the lines of, "Warning: It has been determined that Abbreviate's ideas are intended to subordinate all spheres of society to an ideological vision of organic community." Abbreviate's victims have been speaking out for years. Unfortunately, their voices have long been silenced by the roar and thunder of Abbreviate's allies, who loudly proclaim that national-security interests can and should be sidestepped whenever Abbreviate's personal interests are at stake. Regardless of those muddleheaded proclamations, the truth is that he seems to have recently added the word "disadvantageousness" to his otherwise simplistic vocabulary. I suppose Abbreviate intends to use big words like that to obscure the fact that if his secret police had even an ounce of integrity, they would instill a sense of responsibility and maturity in those who equip obscene, villainous slumlords with flame throwers, hand grenades, and heat-seeking missiles. And that, in my view, is our real problem.

I do not apologize for the amount of space in this letter I intend to devote to telling you about Mr. I Abbreviate. First things first: Abbreviate will stop at nothing to conspire with evil. This may sound outrageous, but if it were fiction I would have thought of something more credible. As it stands, coldhearted cretins serve as the priests in Abbreviate's cult of spleeny favoritism. These "priests" spend their days basking in Abbreviate's reflected glory, pausing only when Abbreviate instructs them to create an atmosphere that may temporarily energize or exhilarate, but which, at the same time, will pose the gravest of human threats. What could be more unholy? People often ask me that question. It's a difficult question to answer, however, because the querist generally wants a simple, concise answer. He doesn't want to hear a long, drawn-out explanation about how there's a time to keep silent and a time to speak. There's a time to love and a time to hate. There's a time for war and a time for peace. And, I claim, there's a time to carve solutions that are neither libidinous nor lame-brained. Or, to put it less poetically, Abbreviate's real enmity against us comes through in his hijinks, which he uses to bar people from partaking in activities that cannot be monitored and controlled. Excuse me; that's not entirely correct. What I meant to say is that only through education can individuals gain the independent tools they need to rally good-hearted people to the side of our cause. But the first step is to acknowledge that he doesn't use words for communication or for exchanging information. He uses them to disarm, to hypnotize, to mislead, and to deceive. Abbreviate says that the federal government should take more and more of our hard-earned money and more and more of our hard-won rights. You know, I don't think I have heard a less factually based statement in my entire life. He thinks I'm trying to say that barbarism brings one closer to nirvana. Wait! I just heard something. Oh, never mind; it's just the sound of the point zooming way over Abbreviate's head.

Abbreviate's conjectures can be subtle. They can be so subtle that many people never realize they're being influenced by them. That's why we must proactively notify humanity that Abbreviate must have some sort of problem with reading comprehension. That's the only explanation I can come up with as to why Abbreviate accuses me of admitting that he can walk on water. What I actually said is that I have absolutely no idea why Abbreviate makes such a big fuss over frotteurism. There are far more pressing issues that present themselves and that should be discussed, debated, and solved -- issues such as war, famine, poverty, and homelessness. There is also the lesser issue that if Abbreviate is victorious in his quest to make us dependent on prissy misogynists for political representation, economic support, social position, and psychological approval, then his crown will be the funeral wreath of humanity. Abbreviate's manuscripts always follow the same pattern. He puts the desired twist on the actual facts, ignores inconvenient facts, and invents as many new "facts" as necessary to convince us that he is forward-looking, open-minded, and creative.

To be quite frank, if Abbreviate wanted to, he could trivialize the issue. He could sue people at random. And he could separate people from their roots and cut their bonds to their natural communities. We must not allow Abbreviate to do any of these. While there's no dispute that he's unpatriotic and probably a little closed-minded, he's also cunning, implacable, fanatic, and ruthless. Why else would Abbreviate assail all that is holy?

Consider the issue of incompetent, humorless Marxism. Everyone agrees that the big parlor game among Abbreviate's gofers is guessing which of them was the first to lead us, lemminglike, over the precipice of self-destruction, but there are still some morbid, huffy fussbudgets out there who doubt that it is impracticable to condemn -- without hesitation, without remorse -- all those who scrap the notion of national sovereignty without exploiting the inner unity of our national will. To them I say: Whatever your age, you now have only one choice. That choice is between a democratic, peace-loving regime that, you hope, may keep our priorities in check and, as the alternative, the disdainful and slatternly dirigisme currently being forced upon us by Abbreviate. Choose carefully, because it's really not bloody-mindedness that compels me to report as best as possible the facts and circumstances surrounding Abbreviate's uncompromising wheelings and dealings. It's my sense of responsibility to you, the reader.

While there's no use crying over spilled milk, Abbreviate has recently been going around claiming that there is an international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids. You really have to tie your brain in knots to be gullible enough to believe that junk. Some would say that this is a platitude. Would that it were! Rather, he's more than disagreeable. Abbreviate's mega-disagreeable. In fact, to understand just how disagreeable he is, you first need to realize that we can never return to the past. And if we are ever to move forward to the future, we surely have to bear witness to the plain, unvarnished truth. Abbreviate claims that people prefer "cultural integrity" and "multicultural sensitivity" to health, food, safety, and the opportunity to choose their own course through life. I, however, contend that that's a load of crud. Yes, I regard him the way I would the sort of stinking filth I might have to clean off my boots after a careless walk in a dog kennel, but he sometimes uses the word "schizosaccharomycetaceae" when describing his apologues. Beware! This is a buzzword designed for emotional response.

Abbreviate's ultimata may sound comfortable and simple, but it must not be forgotten that I need your help if I'm ever to present a clear picture of what is happening, what has happened, and what is likely to happen in the future. "But I'm only one person," you might protest. "What difference can I make?" The answer is: a lot more than you think. You see, evil prevails when good people do nothing. It's that simple. There are those who are informed and educated about the evils of gangsterism, and there are those who are not. Abbreviate is one of the uninformed, naturally, and that's why I recommend paying close attention to the praxeological method developed by the economist Ludwig von Mises and using it as a technique to encourage our spirits to soar. The praxeological method is useful in this context because it employs praxeology, the general science of human action, to explain why the purpose of this letter is far greater than to prove to you how intolerant and vindictive Abbreviate has become. The purpose of this letter is to get you to start thinking for yourself, to start thinking about how he should think about how his declamations lead self-righteous pikers to combine, in a rare mixture, bestial cruelty and an inconceivable gift for lying. If Abbreviate doesn't want to think that hard, perhaps he should just keep quiet. No one can deny that Abbreviate's bedfellows are capable of little else but hating and lying, even to each other, yet Abbreviate claims to be fighting for equality. What he's really fighting for, however, is equality in degradation, by which I mean that Abbreviate uses the word "anticonstitutionally" without ever having taken the time to look it up in the dictionary. People who are too lazy to get their basic terms right should be ignored, not debated. In a manner of speaking, his blind faith in separatism leads him only to corruption. That should serve as the final, ultimate, irrefutable proof that it is not news that the need Abbreviate's goombahs have for his self-pitying prevarications is especially strong as a means of transferring blame -- an outlet for the despair they face when normal channels of protest and change are closed. What speaks volumes, though, is that we cannot afford to waste our time, resources, and energy by dwelling upon inequities of the past. Instead, we must resolve a number of lingering problems. Doing so would be significantly easier if more people were to understand that I don't need to tell you that Abbreviate's companions are nothing more than the worst classes of uncontrollable, unreasonable slaves to fashion there are. That should be self-evident. What is less evident is that if we take Abbreviate's roorbacks to their logical conclusion, we see that in the immediate years ahead, Abbreviate will dismantle the family unit.

There's no mystery about it, no more room for fairy tales, just the knowledge that I want to make this clear, so that those who do not understand deeper messages embedded within sarcastic irony -- and you know who I'm referring to -- can process my point. It would be charitable of me not to mention that there is blood on Abbreviate's hands. Fortunately, I am not beset by a spirit of false charity, so I will instead maintain that his disciples have learned their scripts well and the rhetoric comes gushing forth with little provocation.

I am a law-and-order kind of person. I hate to see crimes go unpunished. That's why I sincerely hope that Abbreviate serves a long prison term for his illegal attempts to promote mediocrity over merit. I, speaking as someone who is not an abysmal, obnoxious hypochondriac, have a misty, inchoate suspicion that he will feed us a diet of robbery, murder, violence, and all other manner of trials and tribulations by the next full moon. Do I blame society for this? No, I blame Abbreviate. It is my personal opinion, based on years of observation, that I have often maintained that reasonable people can reasonably disagree. Unfortunately, when dealing with Abbreviate and his shock troops, that claim assumes facts not in evidence. So let me claim instead that Abbreviate is right about one thing, namely that fear is what motivates us. Fear of what it means when bumptious prigs perpetuate the myth that you and I are inferior to wanton, deranged agitators. Fear of what it says about our society when we teach our children that Man's eternal search for Truth is a challenge to be avoided at all costs. And fear of imperious worrywarts like Abbreviate who create a kind of psychic pain at the very root of the modern mind.

What is Abbreviate's current objective? As usual, there are multiple objectives:

* to lower this country's moral tone and depreciate its commercial integrity,
* to humiliate, subjugate, and eventually eliminate everyone who wants to let Abbreviate know, in no uncertain terms, that he often starts with a preconceived story and then plugs in supposed "information" in order to create a somewhat believable tale, and
* to numb the public to the oligarchism and injustice in mainstream politics.

Whether or not he should lower our standard of living ought to be a simple question, far beyond the realm of debate. However, I've heard him say that his mistakes are always someone else's fault. Was that just a slip of the lip or is Abbreviate secretly trying to cause the destruction of human ambition and joy? We must decidedly ask ourselves questions like that before it's too late, before Abbreviate gets the opportunity to interfere with the most important principles of democracy. I suspect it's important to continue discussing this even after I've made my point, because he says that human life is expendable. But then he turns around and says that he knows 100% of everything 100% of the time. You know, you can't have it both ways, Abbreviate.

Ten years ago, it was feeble-minded snollygosters. Today, it's unconscionable malcontents who saddle the economy with crippling debt. If you're still reading this letter, I wish to compliment you for being sufficiently open-minded to understand that Abbreviate's allegations have created an inaniloquent, exploitative universe devoid of logic and evidence. Only within this universe does it make sense to say that Abbreviate acts in the name of equality and social justice. Only within this universe does it make sense to let us know exactly what our attitudes should be towards various types of people and behavior. And, only if we lead him out of a dream world and back to hard reality can we destroy this odious, impulsive universe of his and help people break free of his cycle of oppression. I may not be perfect, but at least I'm not afraid to say that he really struck a nerve with me when he said that abhorrent vigilantes make the best scout leaders and schoolteachers. That lie is a painful reminder that Abbreviate has allied himself with the devil and serves him faithfully. He will almost certainly tiptoe around that glaringly evident fact, because if he didn't, you might come to realize that his equivocations should be labeled like a pack of cigarettes. I'm thinking of something along the lines of, "Warning: It has been determined that Abbreviate's biases are intended to reap a whirlwind of destroyed marriages, damaged children, and, quite possibly, a globe-wide expression of incurable sexually transmitted diseases." To conclude, Mr. I Abbreviate has no sense of personal boundaries.

I'm not very conversant with Abbreviate's background. To be quite frank, I don't care to be. I already know enough to state with confidence that you may make the comment, "What does this have to do with inane, nasty lunatics?" Well, once you begin to see the light, you'll realize that Abbreviate finds reality too difficult to swallow. Or maybe it just gets lost between the sports and entertainment pages. In either case, if you want to hide something from Abbreviate, you just have to put it in a book. I am a law-and-order kind of person. I hate to see crimes go unpunished. That's why I certainly hope that Abbreviate serves a long prison term for his illegal attempts to shower deluded ruffians with undeserved encomia. The few primitive self-promoters who deny this are not only wrong, they are willfully neurotic. But it goes further than that; callow and salacious, his publicity stunts resemble a dilapidated shed. Kick in the door and the whole rotten structure will collapse, proving my claim that Abbreviate and I disagree about our civic duties. I maintain that we must do our utmost to give peace a chance as expeditiously as possible. Abbreviate, on the other hand, believes that those who disagree with him should be cast into the outer darkness, should be shunned, should starve. To quote the prophet Isaiah, "Woe to ye who expose and neutralize his enemies rather than sit at the same table and negotiate". If you need proof that we will need to use diverse skills and tactics if we are to fight scurrility and slander, then just take a look at Abbreviate. That's it for this letter. I hope that typing it was not a complete waste of energy. Unfortunately, I do realize that my words will probably trigger no useful response in the flabby synapses of Mr. I Abbreviate's brain. I just felt obligated to go through the motions because Abbreviate's histrionics are mired in garrulous, antisocial priggism.

If Abbreviate were to leave a large part of this country's workforce dislocated and disillusioned, social upheaval and violence would follow. It is therefore clear that I like to face facts. I like to look reality right in the eye and not pretend it's something else. And the reality of our present situation is this: We need to look beyond the most immediate and visible problems with Abbreviate. We need to look at what is behind these problems and understand that Abbreviate's idiotic claim that an open party with unlimited access to alcohol can't possibly outgrow the host's ability to manage the crowd is just that, an idiotic claim. Simply put, we can divide Abbreviate's dissertations into three categories: abusive, devious, and directionless. This raises the question: Does Abbreviate believe, deep in the adytum of his own mind, that sin is good for the soul? Here's the answer, albeit in a somewhat circuitous and roundabout style: I wouldn't judge his spin doctors too harshly. They're undoubtedly just cannon fodder for Abbreviate's plot to acquire power and use it to indoctrinate impractical, prurient utopians. He managed to convince a bunch of brainless desperados to help him herald the death of intelligent discourse on college campuses. What was the quid pro quo there? Well, once you begin to see the light, you'll realize that many people who follow his treatises have come to the erroneous conclusion that his demands won't be used for political retribution. The stark truth of the matter is that I don't want to build castles in the air. I don't want to plan things that I can't yet implement. But I do want to draw an accurate portrait of Abbreviate's ideological alignment because doing so clearly demonstrates how the time is always right to do what is right. That's why we must doubtlessly lend a helping hand. The first step in that process is to realize that that fact is simply inescapable to any thinking man or woman. "Thinking" is the key word in the previous sentence. Think about this: I want to give people more information about Abbreviate, help them digest and assimilate and understand that information, and help them draw responsible conclusions from it. Here's one conclusion I unequivocally hope people draw: What was morally wrong five years ago is just as wrong today. Of course, this sounds simple, but in reality, the real issue is simple: Ignoring the problem of antipluralism will not make it go away. Anyway, that's it for this letter. Let Mr. I Abbreviate read it and weep.

Nice filibuster Phobia... but filibusters only work in real time

[alster]

gl? gg? What?

Yes, I know what they mean -- "good luck" for the start of the game, and "good game" for the end. But why do people use these abbreviations on Conquer Club? It's not like some FPS where you have to greet the other players as quickly as possible. Conquer Club is practically built for slowness. Take your time, folks. Why not think up something more creative than just "good luck". How about, "May your pips number many and your cards be full"? Or "May your first Auto-Attack be a masculine Auto-Attack"? Or just "Hey, let's everyone win, folks?"

Which brings me to another point. When you say "gl all" -- do you really mean it? Is it possible for everyone in the same game to have good luck? Doesn't everyone's luck necessarily add up to zero? What, are we going to stick it to Neutral? So maybe "gl" isn't the best way to start a game. Maybe what you should really be wishing people is a good game, and then at the end, once everything's nice and over, wish them good luck on their subsequent endeavors. But unless you're half an hour late for something or your house is on fire, show a little sense and don't abbreviate it.

thx.

1. Hehe... Yes. That was spot-on. Great post, I agree. And I will take your advice on greeting people in the future.

2. And no. I never mean "GL". Actually, I'm always hoping that something will happen to the people joining my games that causes them to miss a turn or two. As for "GG", well, I mean it if i've won (because then it was indeed a good game), but if I lost, I'm really saying GFY... but all these social norms you know, society and all... *sigh* wears me down...

[Cheexsta]

The way I see it: if you're going to say something out of courtesy, you may as well use what little time and effort it takes to write it in full. Hearing "gl" or "gg" to me just doesn't mean anything, whereas "good luck" and "good game" at least seems more sincere in its intentions.

Regarding the semantics about the meaning behind "good luck" - as already stated, it's just courtesy. A gentleman's way of saying "you're screwed otherwise."

[Phobia]

hey phobia why dont u write a whole f%cking essay

I just did, well this did anyway -

http://www.pakin.org/complaint/

Nice filibuster Phobia... but filibusters only work in real time

Damn, I was hoping to kill the debate

[kwanton]

gl? gg? What?

Yes, I know what they mean -- "good luck" for the start of the game, and "good game" for the end. But why do people use these abbreviations on Conquer Club? It's not like some FPS where you have to greet the other players as quickly as possible. Conquer Club is practically built for slowness. Take your time, folks. Why not think up something more creative than just "good luck". How about, "May your pips number many and your cards be full"? Or "May your first Auto-Attack be a masculine Auto-Attack"? Or just "Hey, let's everyone win, folks?"

Which brings me to another point. When you say "gl all" -- do you really mean it? Is it possible for everyone in the same game to have good luck? Doesn't everyone's luck necessarily add up to zero? What, are we going to stick it to Neutral? So maybe "gl" isn't the best way to start a game. Maybe what you should really be wishing people is a good game, and then at the end, once everything's nice and over, wish them good luck on their subsequent endeavors. But unless you're half an hour late for something or your house is on fire, show a little sense and don't abbreviate it.

thx.

combination of common courtesy and laziness. i don't see how that's all that difficult to understand.


Edit: to the previous poster: THANKYOU!! I will be using the complaint letter generator very often.

[MeDeFe]

I take exception to a few key aspects of Complaint Letter Generator's perorations. Instead of focusing on why the only appropriate attitudes in a society overrun by the most anti-democratic pikers you'll ever see are fear and distrust, I would like to remind people that Complaint Letter Generator can't possibly believe that "metanarratives" are the root of tyranny, lawlessness, overpopulation, racial hatred, world hunger, disease, and rank stupidity. He's lascivious, but he's not that lascivious. I welcome his comments. However, he needs to realize that his causeries reek of philistinism. I use the word "reek" because it seems that no one else is telling you that he is incapable of writing a letter without using such phrases as "pushy meatheads", "maladroit, intemperate blackguards", "dodgy, jejune toughies", or some combination thereof. So, since the burden lies with me to tell you that, I suppose I should say a few words on the subject. To begin with, Complaint Letter Generator is right about one thing, namely that fear is what motivates us. Fear of what it means when lewd dolts create catchy, new terms for boring, old issues. Fear of what it says about our society when we teach our children that individual worth is defined by race, ethnicity, religion, or national origin. And fear of oleaginous liars and cheats like Complaint Letter Generator who provide cover for a silly agenda. When Complaint Letter Generator tells us that all minorities are poor, stupid ghetto trash, he somehow fails to mention that his attendants have demonstrated brutally, horribly, and with great terror how they will subordinate all spheres of society to an ideological vision of organic community. He fails to mention that his reinterpretations of historic events are one part pauperism, two parts parasitism. And he fails to mention that he has -- not once, but several times -- been able to formulate social policies and action programs based on the most vindictive sorts of cronyism in existence without anyone stopping him. How long can that go on? As long as his scornful editorials are kept on life support. That's why we have to pull the plug on them and stand as a witness in the divine court of the eternal judge and proclaim that in his line of business, you don't need to know what you're talking about. He is planning to attack the critical realism and impassive objectivity that are the central epistemological foundations of the scientific worldview. This does not bode well for the future, because if we contradict him, we are labelled uneducated whiners. If we capitulate, however, we forfeit our freedoms. After being called a dour criticaster a hundred times or so by Complaint Letter Generator and his spokesmen, I have reached the conclusion that if a cogent, logical argument entered Complaint Letter Generator's brain, no doubt a concussion would result. You may wonder why none of his "progressive" ideas have actually resulted in any progress. It's simply because his obiter dicta should be labeled like a pack of cigarettes. I'm thinking of something along the lines of, "Warning: It has been determined that Complaint Letter Generator's equivocations are intended to represent a threat to all the people in the area, indeed, possibly the world."

What's the difference between Complaint Letter Generator's comrades and morally questionable rotters? If you answered "nothing", then go to the front of the class; you're absolutely right. Complaint Letter Generator thinks that fogyism is the only alternative to neopaganism. However, I'm not saying anything you don't already know about.

Whereas Complaint Letter Generator claims that unsympathetic popinjays are more deserving of honor than our nation's war heroes, I myself claim that I have a dream, a mission, a set path that I would like to travel down. Specifically, my goal is to improve the physical and spiritual quality of life for the population at present and for those yet to come. Of course, I am making a pretty serious accusation here. I am accusing him of planning to lead us into an age of shoddiness -- shoddy goods, shoddy services, shoddy morals, and shoddy people. And I don't want anyone to think that I am basing my accusation only on the fact that now that I've been exposed to his catch-phrases, I must admit that I don't completely understand them. Perhaps I need to get out more. Or perhaps he should work with us, not step in at the eleventh hour and hog all the glory. Think about that for a moment. Lastly, for those who read this letter, I honestly hope you take it to heart and pass this message on to others.