I was outraged and ashamed after hearing about some of Mr. Evil DIMwit's latest protests. So let's begin, quite properly, with a brief look at the historical development of the problem, of its attempted solutions, and of the eternal argument about it. The concepts underlying Mr. DIMwit's tendentious, pretentious litanies are like the Ptolemaic astronomy, which could not have been saved by positing more epicycles or eliminating some of the more glaring discrepancies. The fundamental idea -- that the heavens revolve around the Earth -- was wrong, just as Mr. DIMwit's idea that he has the authority to issue licenses for practicing racialism is wrong. Because of Mr. DIMwit's eagerness to participate in riots, I sometimes ask myself whether the struggle to express my views is worth all of the potential consequences. And I consistently answer by saying that he has been known to say that we can change the truth if we don't like it the way it is. That notion is so hectoring, I hardly know where to begin refuting it. Those who make it nearly impossible to disturb Mr. DIMwit's crotchety gravy train must be held accountable for their actions. With this central point cleared up, the rest of his arguments are rendered moot, as Mr. DIMwit is unwilling to stand up for what is true and right if there is no personal advantage to him in doing so. Period, finis, and Q.E.D.
Mr. DIMwit can't be trusted. I mean, think about it. Fortunately, most people understand that some people think I'm exaggerating when I say that it is not my goal to show a clear lack of respect not just for those brave souls who fought and died for what they believed in, but also for you, the readers of this statement, but the opposite. But I'm not exaggerating; if anything, I'm understating the situation.
Whether or not Mr. DIMwit should reduce social and cultural awareness to a dictated set of guidelines to follow ought to be a simple question, far beyond the realm of debate. However, he has convinced a lot of people that science is merely a tool invented by the current elite to maintain power. One must pause in admiration at this triumph of media manipulation. Were he alive today, Hideki Tojo would be his most trustworthy ally. I can see Tojo joining forces with Mr. DIMwit to help him marginalize me based on my gender, race, or religion. He occasionally writes letters accusing me and my friends of being tactless degenerates. These letters are typically couched in gutter language (which is doubtless the language in which he habitually thinks) and serve no purpose other than to convince me that he periodically puts up a facade of reform. However, underneath the pretty surface, it's always business as usual. Mr. DIMwit's apologists think that Mr. DIMwit holds a universal license that allows him to abet ethnic genocide, dictatorships, and what I call effete hatemongers. This is precisely the non-equation that Mr. DIMwit is trying to patch together. What he's missing, as usual, is that if you're interested in the finagling, double-dealing, chicanery, cheating, cajolery, cunning, rascality, and abject villainy by which he may quote me out of context before you know it, then you'll want to consider the following very carefully. You'll especially want to consider that Mr. DIMwit's vituperations are as predictable as sunrise. Whenever I strengthen our roots so we can weather the storms that threaten our foundation, his invariant response is to replace our natural soul with an artificial one. In a nutshell, Mr. Evil DIMwit is out of touch with reality.
This was a joke, I just wanted to practice my art of the use of rhetoric to obscure a lack of reasonable content in a public setting. I like Evil DIMwit... Really. Honest! 
Of course, isn't it implying that the rest of your Auto-Attacks should not be masculine?
or maybe... 
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