by Tieryn on Fri Sep 21, 2007 1:18 pm
I have told you all a million times not to exaggerate.
When I was born my mother put me into an intensive conquer club playing framework for my growth. Any major personal developments had to coincide with winning rolls against her. It took me 3 months longer to start puberty because the dice were so bad!
Each night we had to roll off against her before we could have dinner. One time I had a stretch of luck so bad, that I lost 432 armies to 1 before I managed to roll a seven on one of the dice and beat all of her sixes. She claimed I was cheating, but I don't know what she was talking about. All I knew was that I could eat. And eat I did. But not food, no, we couldn't afford food, and anyway, what was food to a conquer club kid?
No, we were fed on the crushed bones of fallen continents, sustained by the rush of steamrolling your way across world 2.1, nourished by the diplomacy and tact that became simply a part of day to day life. Not a day would go by that we weren't horribly betrayed, and broken down to nothing, but neither did a day pass where we were not incredibly elated, our mouths dripping with the saliva of anticipation of that mixed set.
Addicted? They say. No, this is not an addiction, it is a way of life. I did not choose it. It chose me. I am no more a pawn in this game than my first three armies in Brazil, and no less. Constantly thrashing my armies against the continents in my life. Overcoming, consolidating, defending. Holding territory, not as one holds dirt in ones hand, but as one holds hope in ones heart. As one holds judgement in ones mind. As one holds sacrifice in ones hand.
Oh yea, and so it cometh to me that I shall go forth into this world, and spread the news of conquer club, that all might see-eth the true light and the underlying mathematics of the world, simulating life by the rolling of dice, like the scree and gravel that starts the avalanche rolling down the side of the white mountain.
Truly, it is a beautiful thing.